1. He won’t commit or Speak his Feelings for You
You can never quite get him to admit to the depth (or shallowness) of his feelings for you. The worst-case scenario? He doesn’t share any of his feelings with you because he doesn’t have any. The deepest feeling he has for you is the aforementioned ‘alright’. And nobody wants to be just ‘alright’. Does he love you or are you just a decoration that he brings out when it suits him or his needs?
2. He Doesn’t Share His Plans With You
You don’t know how he spends his free time…or you find out last minute when you thought that you might be seeing him that now you aren’t! You don’t know who his friends are. You don’t know what his goals are. Yet he seems to have a whole, entire and active life completely apart from you. This is definitely a bad sign. If you are not a significant part of his current life, you are probably not a significant part of his future plans either. If you are in a new relationship, give it some time. But if you still know very little about him after dating him for several months, and good God, please don’t tell me that it’s been years….then this means only one things… this man is quite happy to keep you right where he has you – on the outside looking in. Sad, but true! Now is the time for you to clam up….don’t you dare share your plans, etc with him if you get nothing in return. You know that saying….if its like squeezing blood from a turnip, somethings isn’t right…..
3. He Doesn’t Answer the Phone When You Call
Yes, I know we all get busy sometimes. If he repeatedly doesn’t take your calls and you are getting dumped into his voice mail, I would have to say “Houston, We Have a BIG Problem!” A man who is interested in you wants to talk to you. No matter what else he has going on – work, family, children or whatever. You should be a priority to him! If you are not, you should be. It only takes 30 seconds to call you to say hi, or to tell you that he is thinking about you, etc. I’m sorry ladies, there is NO excuse for a man who puts you second all the time. Don’t you deserve more? It’s not all about him, you are part of this equation too!
4. He Hasn’t Introduced You to Anyone (or Introduces You as ‘My Friend’)
Okay -this sounds like it would be harmless……and this is simple. If a man has not introduced you to anybody he knows you are probably not very important to him in his life. Why do I say that? What’s one of the first things you do when you meet someone (that you really like)? Introduce him to your friends or invite him to go with you to different functions. Men are not so very different from us – if they love having you around, they will invite you to be where they are. And, in the normal course of those invitations, you will meet people who are in his life. If you haven’t, then beware.
5. He Doesn’t Tell Anyone About You
BIG RED FLAG here………When you talk to him, he may mention conversations he’s had with his family or friends.He may even mention to these aforesaid friends and family his weekend plans. But, then you catch on to something – he told them what he was going to do, but not with whom he would be doing those things (namely, you). A simple oversight? An overriding need for privacy? Possibly. But, more than likely, he is not ready for anyone to know of your existence in his life. This could be for a number of reasons, but none of them are good. So, keep up with his mentions of you in his life – it is an important indicator of intent and the seriousness with which he takes your relationship……if this isn’t the red flag, what is?
6. He Talks About His Future in Terms of ‘I’ never a ‘We’
When he talks about where he’s going to live, what job he plans on getting or what school he plans to attend, it’s all about him.What should this say to you? That he’s still thinking of himself in terms of being single. It has not yet occurred to him that the relationship he has with you could become more serious. All those “I’s” and lacks of “we’s” is his subconscious way of telling you that he does not consider you to be his serious partner. Ask yourself…where do I fit in? Maybe you don’t…..have you ever stopped to think about that?
7. He Doesn’t Take You on a Real Date
Sure, he likes spending time with you – but only in the privacy of his home. Why the hell not? Is he embarrassed of you? Or you have limited outings like to the movies (where nobody can see you) or to the deli to pick up a sandwich at the place around the corner from his house. You don’t do the ‘big’ dates like charity functions, birthday parties, family events or the like. This should tell you something: This man is not ready to be serious with you. A man who wants to be with you will spend time with you in a variety of places – both publicly and privately. Isn’t this all about pleasing you? Beware of a man who limits your activity to one specific type of place.
8. He Only Calls Late (are you just a Booty Call?)
Unless he works a really odd shift, there is no reason that your guy cannot call you at a reasonable hour. In fact, I have a rule…..if it’s after 10 and he hasn’t called, and then he does…..I don’t answer. 1) Its quite rude for him not to call earlier, so disrespectful too,…..and 2) If he can’t make you more of a priority to call sooner before your brian shuts down and gets into sleep mode, don’t waste your time answering if the phone does ring….He had all day to call you! Do what seems right to you, but know that late night calls do not equal serious intentions. You deserve much better than to just be someones late night “piece of ass” or dirty talk….He hasn’t thought enough to call you all day….? The last thing you should do is give him the upper hand and give him what he wants now. Sorry….this would be the icing on the cake for me to kick this one to the curb!
9. He Doesn’t Share ANY Personal Information about Himself? Why?
Have you ever asked yourself why you don’t know where your guy lives? Or where he works? Or you’re not even 100% sure of his last name? Ladies, were you born yesterday? Seriously…..if this is how a man is acting, RUN…..because most likely they really are married, already in another relationship and they are bored with it so you are their “happy place” so to speak…..He’s probably hiding something. Or, most likely he doesn’t consider your relationship to be serious enough to share the serious information about his life with you. Don’t think so? Try asking him those questions the next time you see him. The answers should speak for themselves! I fell into this trap years ago with someone..boy was I naive. I share these thoughts with you because I never want anyone else to feel the pain and hurt that I felt when I learned of this.
10. He Doesn’t Take an Interest in what YOU DO, or Your Future Plans
We’ve already been over the fact that he doesn’t tell you his future plans. But now, to add insult to injury, he doesn’t ask about your plans either. Why is this such a bad thing? Let me ask you something – to what kind of people do you fail to ask questions like these? That’s right – acquaintances or people you barely know. Are you buying this? Hey, believe me, no matter what else you think about him, he is perfectly capable of asking something he wants to know. Doesn’t this make you feel bad, or wonder why? I would have some serious doubt going on right about now…….
So those are 10 sure signs that the man with whom you are involved has no intentions of being serious with you. Maybe he “might” be be a good guy – fun to hang out with, good to his dog, his kids, or even kind to his mama – but he has not reached the level of being ready to be committed (at least not to you). If it is a new relationship (a year or less), wait a while and see. But if it has been over a year, your best bet is to keep your options open. Don’t let the opportunity to be involved with someone who is commitment-minded pass you by while you wait on your guy to get a clue. You need to really put yourself first. Honor your own needs. Don’t you want to be with someone who gives you that same respect? Don’t make someone a priority if they only consider you an option! If you want to know if he really loves you? Cher sang it best……… “It’s in His Kiss”………