A few years ago when I divorced and found myself starter over, I thought I was too old to date. I was 34 when my divorce was final and I had two young teenagers. They didn’t approve of any man that I went out with, because he wasn’t their father. No one would take his place. In their young minds, I ruined our family. Although they had no idea how my marriage went from “Point A to Point B.” I filed for the Big “D” and I was the cause of this mess. Pay backs were hell. They made my dating life miserable, and oh they sabotaged so many dates. Those kids….lucky for me, saved me from a lot of disasters. Today, I am grateful that they stepped in, for had they not, I might not be where I am today. Business savvy, more independent, and a woman on a mission to find my destiny. I’ve learned that age is just a number. It’s not oh old you are, rather, how you’ve grown gracefully in life that determines your future.
Who in their right mind would want a woman with baggage? My thoughts were, my kids are not baggage. I laid down the law and stated that if a man loved me, he would also have to accept my children for whom ever they are. I felt like we went from a happy family with life by the balls, to a woman lost with two kids that needed her more than ever. Oh I tried to date, it just didn’t work out. Most of the men were divorced, some with no kids,… they had NO concept of what it was like to be a parent, and they didn’t understand that plans change at the blink of an eye when your kids need you. For years, I thought that I was too old to do the online dating thing…boy was I wrong.
I tried it, and since have learned a lot a about it. You can say I’ve done my homework. My advice: Don’t give all your energy to one person in online dating. If the person does not turn out to be what you want, so what? You met a new person, practiced your conversation skills, and learned more about what you want in a partner. Whether you are 18 or 70, the best way to enjoy a first date is to keep an open mind, focus on the things you have in common, and make your primary goal to simply have a good time.
Before the first date, you wonder whether your date will like you, (personally this is a questions we ask at any age) whether you’ll like single older women and how much dating etiquette has changed since the last time you were out there. While there are no absolutes when it comes to senior dating, there are a few tried and true strategies that may help calm your nerves and increase your chances for a successful first date. If you plan to have activities on your first date, make it lunch and combine it with some fun activity so you have more things to talk about while you eat. Dinner sometimes implies more intimacy than you may be ready for on a first date, and having the whole date depend on senior women sitting across from each other and making conversation can create a lot of pressure. If the whole idea of senior dating makes you nervous, consider making your first date a group date with women over 50, or participating in a group activity such as senior travel.
Be smart, and by all means, please be safe, and have an exit strategy. Make certain that you always tell a close friend where you are going, and with whom. Do a background check if it makes you feel better…On most singles sites, you are going out with people you really don’t know well, so stick to public places and tell someone you trust who you are meeting and where you will be. If you start to feel uneasy about the person you are with, then leave. If your gut tells you something doesn’t seem right, “Good Lord, listen to your gut!”