Ladies, Ohhh have I got a story for you. There must be a time in your life, when you wore a dress, whether it be a cocktail dress, a clubbing dress or perhaps a sequins sleeveless blouse that you bought from a boutique where it was cut odd and at the time you had no special bra with straps that stayed hidden so you needed to use something to cover the ole’ “hooters” …..because I was rasied in an old fashion home where you didn’t expose yourself to complete strangers….your private parts remained private. Funnys isn’t it, now I own two lingerie stores.
Lets talk about these items that you wear….Some call them “pasties” I call them “Sticky Boobs!” Easy to use, self adhesive strips that go over the nipple area to cover your girlie parts. These things work great! In fact every woman should have a set for those just in case emergencies, if not for you, for some poor woman in the ladies room trying to hide her unmentionables.
I’m describing myself here and let me tell you…I thought that they were great, but they should come with a WARNING LABEL! Never, ever, ever ladies wear these for a long period of time. These pasties, or sticky boobs as I refer to them as are a temporary fix for women. They are like a bandaid… they stick to you….and the longer you leave them on ladies, the more PAINFUL they are to take off. How do I know this, ohhhhh this experience is something that I will NEVER forget. My girlfriends laugh so hard even to this day when I tell the story, making some of them cry they alugh so hard.
A few years ago a group of us met in Las Vegas for our friend Brians 50th surprise birthday party. To celebrate, we had a private party in the Mirage at Jet Nightclub then went on to one of their elegant restaurants for a formal sit down dinner. I packed a beautiful sequin blouse and a silk black skirt full length and beautiful stilettos….but forgot a strapless bra.What was I to do? Lucky for me, my girlfriend Cindy that I went to Vegas with worked for a lingerie company at the time had a supply of anything and everything a gal could imagine if she forgot something while rushing to pack and scoot to the airport or for an overnight romantic getaway!
Cindy offered these sticky boobs to me and told me how to apply them. Easy,….piece of cake! Oh that was the greatest thing ever….Best things ever!….Until I partied, got way to drunk and came back to the room after gambling with my friend Nick playing the Wheel of Fortune where we won some $1600, then lost half of it so we gave up and walked with a lot less…..at 5am.
My blouse zipped up the back all the way to my neck so there was no way it was coming off so I figured why not just go to sleep dressed? Do you see where I am going with this story? I woke up as I had drawn the short straw to get 10 chairs at the pool at 8am and had to be there come hell or high water. Take on for the team Michele! So I did….when I woke up at 8am to that loud piercing alarm, I answered the phone. I was still drunk and still completely dressed. The alarm woke up Cindy so she got dressed to go to the pool with me. I sat up and realized that my clothes were all still on….as were the sticky boobs! I went into the bathroom, called Cindy to unzip me and when I pulled those stickies off I swear that it took off 3 layers of skin and I let out a scream that was heard all the way down to the MGM Grand! Consider this ladies, if this ever happens to you, act smarter that I did and get in the shower with them off, they come of a hell of a lot easier! Oh if I knew then what I know now!
The moral of the story is this; …don’t wear these things EVER! They should have a warning label on them. I’ve never experienced so much pain since childbirth, or at least it sure seemed that bad! Sure they work, but they are a bitch to take off if wore too long. Yes, they sure look pretty and sexy but they can cause some real damage! Mine were not at all this fancy, but I think you get the picture?
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