Guys; How to Ruin the First Date

Just because a girl is willing to give you a fighting chance to show what a great guy you are on a first date doesn’t mean that she wants to see that special tatoo on your inner left thigh, or the one on your ass. She probably doesn’t even want to know what kind of underwear you are wearing, so it’s likely that you should forget about having sex on the first date. As for me, that’s generally a first question. The underwear part, probably because underwear is my business and I try to imagine what the man looks like in it without being too noticeable. Sometimes I’m not always discreet and I just put my foot in my mouth (most of the time) and with my words fumbled, I usually say something stupid like “So tell me, because I’ve never really been all that good with surprises, what do you have going on under those pants?” Thus meaning underwear, thong, boxers, boxer briefs….it just generally never comes out the way that I had intended to say it, and certainly never mean it in a dirty kind of way.,..well, perhaps sometimes. It’s a great conversation mixer though and my way to break the ice!

 Just Test the Waters, Don’t Jump into the Lake….

No diving head first…..not on the first date gentlemen! First dates are very fragile affairs; two strangers unite to test out the waters and see if they are at all compatible. When women are on first dates with men, they analyze every little thing their date does. After all, the pressure is usually on the men, so the way they handle this high stress situation is an indication of their characters. Does he fidget? Does he sweat? Does he remain calm and collected….or does he feel quite at ease with you? How do guys ensure they don’t completely ruin a first date? It’s quite simple: let the women feel comfortable. If women are comfortable, they will relax and be more at ease within conversations. This way, if you accidentally say something insulting, step on her foot or forget to hold the door, she will be more inclined to forgive the mishap, if not pal, you are skating on thin ice!

How to Make a Good Impression

A good place for a first date is a comedy club. You find yourselves in a setting with lots of people and you can easily think of things to do should awkward moments of silence arise. By the end of the show you will both be smiling, which assures that you’ll be in good moods for the rest of the night. The show also gives you something to talk about. The biggest advantage of a comedy show is that the jokes your date laughs at can reveal a lot about her personality. You should know that a guy who laughs extra hard at jokes that degrade women, immediately has 3 strikes against him…so dater beware. Also, make sure that you have enough cab money if you allowed him to be your driver as you may be taking this trip home via taxi whereas if he were my date and he did this he’d be traveling all right…straight to the the moon via my foot up his ass. The Frank Sinatra song “Fly me to the Moon” would be putting this one mildly.

Be Yourself….We Know if You’re Lying!

 A guy should always act natural on the first date; don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. You might be fooling yourself here, but women have radar and we can smell your line of bull a mile away, well, most of us can. For those of you women who cannot…we’ve get some learning to do! Some guys boast which gives us the impression that you’re arrogant. Women like a man who might appear to be a little flamboyant. Now that’s my problem….I like a playful man with an edge. Bad boy? Yes. Why? No idea? Always have liked them and they always tend to get me in trouble, which is why after several years of the “bad boys/wrong men” I decided to stay single. Try to keep the lines of communication open, and keep it simple by avoiding debates about religion or politics. Unless you are seriously prepared and loaded with a pocketful of ammunition to back your words….don’t go there…at least not on your first date. Don’t impose or get too personal; whatever a girl wants to tell you, she will reveal on her own. Remember, if you make her feel comfortable around you, you will surely get a second date. If you move too quickly and get too much “in her business” you’ll find yourself catching the harsh wind of that old familiar slamming door!

 I recommend that you let the girl speak as well. It allows you to get to know a lot of things about her without revealing too much about yourself. A mysterious, aloof man is very attractive. There is no better compliment for a man than a woman telling her friend I had the most wonderful conversation with this guy last night, yet I still don’t know anything about him. He’s a great listener though . This means that you not only entertained her that night, but you’ve got her begging for more and ready for that second date!

 Have fun on your first date and don’t push her if she says no to sex, in fact…don’t even try asking for it…don’t push if she refuses a ride home either, but make damn certain that you pay for her bill or she will never date you again. There is NO GOING DUTCH Mr Cheap Ass, on the first date! NO NO NO!!! Ummm hello….were you born and raised in a cave or are you really that stupid? She’s a lady…treat her as such. Do men actually think that splitting the bill is proper if they asked you out? Listen up….YOU PAY, or don’t ask her out! There is nothing worse than a  cheap pushy man. Never ever ever think she will allow you into her home or into her bed on a first date, unless this is a one night stand because the dating part of it won’t work long term and you both agree to just a wild night of passion. Respect her first and foremost….if you can’t do that guys, why on earth are you even dating? My advice for a good first date. Show up early, but not too early, show her that you know how to be on time and that you were a bit excited about seeing her, brush up on wine guys… A woman loves a man who knows his wine, select a few red and a few whites and ask her which she prefers, find out why she likes them…is it the aroma, or the taste of that particular type? Rule of thumb: You should always order it when out to dinner or for a cocktail. You make the selection.

Tell her she looks pretty, study her face from across the table….did you know that you can read a lot in a woman’s eyes.  Always open the door for her, and pull her chair out at a restaurant when she stands up or sits down, it’s the gentleman thing to do. You are going to have to earn her respect…so give it your best, it may not be easy, but remember,… all good things you must work harder for. Want to win her heart and get date #2? Be yourself (in some cases, lets hope that’s good enough) and show up with a smile and flowers!







2 responses to “Guys; How to Ruin the First Date

  1. A comedy club, really? Seems very high risk, go somewhere where there is a statistically good chance that one of the two on the date will be singled out by a half cut comic for general derision, no chance. It might be a way of testing his humor, it might easily be a perfect way to ruin both nights without ever really giving it a chance.

    Otherwise, it all sounds quite sensible.

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