Can Plus Size Gals find True Love?


 Listen,…Someone asked me this very question….can a plus size girl really find real love and happiness Michele,…really? Oh no she didn’t! This only happened once and I had to refrain from giving them a whole lot more than my “2 cents” in respect to this question. Plus size women are no different from anyone else. They have feelings, emotions, beauty, brains, and they too fall in love. Why is it then that people seem to think that plus size women are respected any less? Lets do the comparisons shall we? Plus size women date good, attractive men..the same men a regular size/shape woman would. Plus size women get married and have families. Plus size women are adored and cherished just as they are, without losing a single pound or changing anything about themselves…they love who they are inside out and upside down. One of my best friends was over weight most of her life. She was treated poorly by others, even by some of my friends. I began to see this more and more as I grew older and time passed. It became relevant to me very quickly what had to occur. Those friends that bad mouthed Diane had to go! What kind of ignorant people do such a thing? I couldn’t figure it out for the life of me. I was raised to treat everyone the same and respect everyone. Some people wouldn’t know how to respect someone much less understand the word “class” if it jumped up and bit them. The problem at hand is too many people bully others about their weight, and they have NO idea what harmful things can come of it. I’m sorry but I blame the parent, or guardian who raised these ignorant people. How would you like to be made fun of for something you can’t control? You wouldn’t…so why in the hell do people taunt others?

Diane’s issues were insecurities and stress, so she ate. Sound familiar at all? Years later and into high school she lost the weight (half of her body weight.) With her weight loss came far more problems at hand. If these people only knew now what they did and how much it tormented my friend, maybe they wouldn’t have done it. My friend lost years of a young ladies life no thanks to these dim-wit girls who thought what? that they were pretty and cool? Seriously? Those friends of mine who treated her poorly that didn’t deserved Diane’s respect much less mine now wanted to know who my “new friend” was? Yes, poor Diane looked like a million bucks now and was getting the attention of boys and gaining popularity. I couldn’t be more proud and happy for Diane,….As for those snub nose girls, you know the cheerleaders, and the popular click that thought they were “all that” ….Diane and I didn’t bother with them ever again. It’s coming up on my 30 year class reunion and still I have no desire to go back to a school where looks and beauty mattered more to these fake girls that thought they were all that, and to see these women whom I lost all respect for then at such a young age, and quite franly, still have NO respect for.  My story about Diane and myself always reminds us of the movie “Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion.”  My friends and loyalties remain with those whom loved me and whom still love and accept me, for me! I don’t need to put on a show to win the respect of anyone…and neither DO YOU!

Why is it that people judge others by their appearance most often? Why is it that they think that these women are pathetic because they are overweight? Why is it that they think they’ll never meet the man of their dreams? Diane did, and yes, she did put some of her weight back on, but I’ve never seen her happier!

 I’ve got news for you….these woman are the bigger person and I don’t mean in size. I mean in character, compassion and smarts! They could conquer the world! It’s all about confidence and attitude. What Diane didn’t quite get because she couldn’t see the forest through the trees what that she was beautiful all along…losing the weight never changed that. To this day she’ll probably never know how much I have looked up to her and how much I respect her and admire her for those strengths that I saw shining through each and every day. She has no idea how her smile and laughter brightened people’s days…. She has been my inspiration for so many years and one of the reasons that my dream of owning lingerie shops came to life full circle. It was my dream, but she was my inspiration. She was my example, she taught me to look within myself, she showed me that love and beauty like that cannot be found on the surface, regardless of your size…it comes from the heart and from within.

A Message to Plus Size Gals….You Can Find Love!

Listen gals, if you get nothing else from this blog, the one thing I hope you will take away from it is that dating, healthy relationships and love come in so many sizes. Never judge a book by it’s cover….otherwise you’ll miss a lot of glorious chapters within. Contrary to popular belief, plus size women do fall in love and get married. And it doesn’t take some complicated formula or set of rules to make it happen. It is so easy to get discouraged when you are plus size and single, so don’t compare yourself to anyone else. A lot of the dating advice that’s out there today would have you believe that you need to undergo a massive overhaul of your entire body and personality to meet a good guy who wants to go the distance with you, and it’s simply not true. Ladies, love who YOU are! As long as you make yourself #1 nothing else matters. You deserve and will find that happiness just like everyone else….it’s not the size of the women that matters, it’s a package…all the other things that a man looks for in a woman. So STOP thinking that because you are a few pounds heavier that you won’t land Mr Wonderful!

 There is nothing wrong with wanting to be your best self; as a matter of fact I encourage it. You have to feel good about “YOU!” So lose weight if you want to, go to therapy, get centered, and release your baggage, do whatever you feel like you need to do. Just know that meeting a man and falling in love does not depend on you changing something about yourself. If he is going to fall in love with you it’s going to be for all the right reasons. You just focus on being authentically you, going for what you want and living your life to the fullest. Why? Because you are beautiful just the way you are…and at the end of the day, isn’t that what really matters?

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