Dont’ Ever Assume…Get to Knows One’s True Character & Integrity

Do you believe you can fairly assume someone’s true character if you have not gotten to know them on a personal level? Do you know what their past involves and why they have a wall built around them? It’s quite easy to assume that a woman is a bitch, but have you truly put forth the efforts to make her a priority to get to know her, or is it just something that works for you at ‘your convenience?’ If the answer is at your convenience, buddy I’ve got news for you, you’ll spend the rest of your life asking why women are so bad and such bitches because somewhere in your lifetime women have walked all over you, cheated you or robbed you of your true identity and now you feel the need to make the ‘good woman’ jump through hoops to prove her self-worth. What about her true integrity?
 “The word INTEGRITY comes from the same Latin root as ‘integer,’ or whole number. Like a whole number, a person of integrity is undivided and complete. This means that the ethical person acts according to her beliefs, not according to expediency. She is also consistent. There is no difference in the way she makes decisions from situation to situation, her principles don’t vary at work or at home, in public or alone. Because she must know who she is and what she values, the person of integrity takes time for self-reflection, so that the events, crises and seeming necessities of the day do not determine the course of her moral life. She stays in control. She may be courteous, even charming, but she is never duplicitous. She never demeans herself with obsequious behavior toward those she thinks might do her some good. She is trusted because you know who she is: what you see is what you get.”

Nothing gives you more confidence than knowing you operate from a place of integrity. Integrity is simple. It makes you like yourself. You feel good about who you are and why you do things. You feel good about yourself when you go to bed at night. You make decisions based on your integrity. It isn’t always easy to do that, but it is gratifying to know that in the end you still like who you are, you can be proud of what you do, and your family and the people in your life who trust you and love you can be proud of you as well. You don’t compromise in a world full of compromises. You don’t sell out. You are valuable and worthy and strong in your convictions. Integrity is self-worth.”

“It takes courage to have integrity: The highest courage is to dare to be yourself in the face of adversity. Choosing right over wrong, ethics over convenience, and truth over popularity… these are the choices that measure your life. Travel the path of integrity without looking back, for there is never a wrong time to do the right thing.”

Now, let’s define character. Character is the combination of qualities or features that distinguishes one person, group, or thing from another; that form the individual nature of a person or thing; moral or ethical quality; qualities of honesty, fortitude, etc.; integrity. 

 “CHARACTER is the result of hundreds and hundreds of choices you make that gradually turn who you are, at any given moment, into who you want to be. If that decision-making process is not present, you will still be somebody. You will still be alive, but may have a personality rather than a character. CHARACTER is not something you were born with, it is something that you must take responsibility for creating. Character is built by how you respond to what happens in your life and once it is formed, it will serve as a solid, lasting foundation upon which to build the life you desire…”

You are not a strong person just because you are physically strong or a bully. You become a strong person when you have strong values, integrity and good character. Of course, you can develop a strong physically fit body if you choose – that is good for your health; but in order to feel better about ourselves (deep inside), we have to learn to become persons with strong moral convictions, be honest with ourselves and others, treat others with kindness, respect, dignity and tolerance.

 In my upbringing, it was my understanding that most people were caring and trusting, most people are to be compassionate like myself and only want whats best for those around her…Why? Because I am a woman who has taken the leap into destiny and followed paths, some for the wrong reasons yet had I not, I would NOT be the woman who is writing this blog today expressing why you need to “chill” and not jump the gun about someone until you really get to know them and understand them completely! I was raised by a loving, compassionate family whose values were instilled in me at a very early age. Am I naive? …Yes sometimes I am…. Am I gullible? Yes sometimes I am. Am I a bitch or immature? No, not at all. For a man to call a woman a bitch is in my personal opinion totally inexcusable. For a man to call a women immature, without hearing her side and trying to understand where she is coming from on her subject is not tolerated. How can one assume that you are a bitch because you don’t want to meet someone, or because you get angered easily when a man pushes your ‘wrong buttons?’

 What truly saddens me is that I am a women who gives, and very rarely asks for anything in return. I am a woman who although having been through bad times in her life still looks for the good in life and in people. After a messy divorce, a marriage of mental abuse and alcohol issues, and having low self-esteem at on time (who wouldn’t if you had that to deal with?) a physical attack on her life, and cancer on more than one occasion, I feel that I have come out on top and turned out pretty damn good. For a real man not to see what I stand for, and what I have accomplished in my life says to me that he is the immature individual, that he is uncaring, and that he is pretty damn cocky. Not everyone was blessed with a family like mine, not everyone is born with a silver spoon in their mouth, not everyone has Cinderella stories to tell, and not everyone can tolerate what I have in my life and come out with such high spirits,and high expectations not to mention “hey, I’m alive” and I am here to tell about it!
 Most of you think that you’ve suffered in bad relationships, and love, and illness. Perhaps you have?  Perhaps you didn’t have the fabulous childhood that I did with 2 wonderful parents and 4 excellent grandparents and 1 great-grandmother who taught you that you were special, and how to love and make others laugh. I had 7 unique individuals in my life that molded me into this woman who I am today and I am quite proud of who I am, where I have been, and what I have become. If you sit around waiting for good things to happen, life will certainly pass you by. You need to make your own destiny. Life is about paths, some people follow the right ones and some say they took the wrong ones. Personally, I don’t think that there is a right or wrong path. I think that when we take the less fortunate one, it sets us back, yes, but it makes us stronger later in life. It gives us the power to push ourselves to be better people and life gives us the ability to make good self-conscious healthy decisions.
Would you be more likely to teach your children to assume off the bat based on how a person dresses, speaks or acts in one moment of time when you haven’t seen the rest of who that person is? Or would you be more likely to teach them to remember that everyone messes up, people have bad days and that first impressions are not always correct? I think it takes time to get to know someone, and the majority of the time I’m willing to take the time to know someone on a deeper level and make them more than just an acquaintance. However, some people will deny that they do judge based on appearance or actions. Shame on you!We all like to believe that we judge people fairly.  It is obviously frowned upon in our society to think that a person is discriminated against based on external factors.  However, study after study seems to reiterate that we do make such judgements about people.  The first impressions we get of people are very strong and it is often difficult for us to change our minds. Whether we like to admit it or not, we usually draw a conclusion about a person from their looks.  This  affects how we treat that person.  This is obviously unfair and deserves our utmost attention to correct.  We have to be honest with ourselves about how we discriminate and make a conscious effort to correct this bad behavior. In my opinion, everyone deserves a second chance! Here are a few things to watch for and or to ponder:

1.  Are they a person of integrity?

A person’s actions should match their words so pay close attention to what they say and how they act. How do they act when they think no one is watching?  If they don’t do the right thing, then you may want to avoid getting involved in a relationship.  A person should be trustworthy. This type is quite hard to find these days, and is quite rare.  They should have a proven track record of honesty, authenticity and openness.  They may look good on the outside, but if they lack integrity, then trouble is likely not far over the horizon. Do what I do? Google the shit out of them and look to see what others say about this particular individual. They say that the proof is in the pudding…look at who they are through others eyes, and base part of your expectations on that. If you continue to hear over and over that this person is bad, or uncaring, they most likely are, however, if you read about them over and over from friends, relatives and or complete strangers and people are still inclined to state positive attributes regarding this particular person, maybe you should take a deep look yourself.

2.  How do they treat others close to them?

A person should demonstrate they care about other people in their life.  You want to look at how they react when others are ill, in need, or have a problem.  This is a great time to get a glimpse into what kind of heart the person has.  Are they involved in anything bigger than themselves?  Do they make any kind of meaningful contribution to the world for which they volunteer or earn very little?  These kinds of actions will tell you something real about a person’s worth, and will shed much light on what kind of individual they are behind closed doors. Most people with great integrity only show people their real self-worth briefly. My grandmother said that good people do not have to go nuts seeking attention. They sit in the back watching and admiring self-respect and beauty in their own way. They are not the type of people to wallow in doubt, to speak poorly about others or to accuse without good hard solid actions.

3.  Where have they applied their skill and talent?

Look at what a person has actually done with their life to get an idea of who they really are? How do they treat their family and friends?  Where did they go to school?  What did they study?  What are they passionate about in life?  Engage them in a conversation on a topic they enjoy.  This will expose their intelligence.  Listen for their sense of humor and wit. Do they have a strong and outgoing personality? They should!  Find out what they consider their greatest accomplishment.  These things will reveal a lot about a person.

After reading this, if you have wronged someone or “jumped the gun” too quickly, perhaps it’s time for a truce and an “I’m Sorry?” Life is too short to live with regret. Don’t let something that could have been a great potential for you pass you by because you were too pig-headed to see the forest through the trees.



© This article is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s