How does one find happiness, I’m talking 100% REAL TRUE HAPPINESS,… and what becomes of the broken-hearted? Tell me honestly, because I am just dying to hear from men regarding this one…why do you pursue a woman, get her to like you, even if in the beginning she didn’t. Why then when she gets used to feeling a little bit comfortable with you, or, how about this, if she sleeps with you, why do you run like the wind and find anything imaginable to use against her as a reason to not get involved? Do you have your own insecurities? There is one thing to be said about the “chase” but honestly, do you really think that you’ll end up with a good woman in the future if your childish games of not responding and acting like a 10-year-old are the best that you can do? My guess is that men like the chase and when they get the woman, naturally now, the thrill is gone. Wow, isn’t that just shit? As a woman, I find it agitating that a man would do such a thing but with so many of my friends I see this happening over and over again each and every day. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m in no way, shape or form stating that all men do this, not at all. My initial thoughts are and always have been that a man feels he doesn’t have enough to give. In retrospect it’s easier to chase and have fun, than actually let your guard down long enough to test the waters of a solid possible relationship. Why don’t they let the woman be the judge of that?
I did research on the internet and all that I came up with was what a woman should do to make a man chase her more. I’m sorry but guys are people too, and they don’t like games, at least not the men that I know,…although it tends to be that when the shoe is on the other foot playing games is their #1 way to go. Why? Why the games, and why the chase? Do men really enjoy the thrill of the chase? Absolutely, because when you finally get her, it’s a sense of accomplishment. Yahoo, you did it, hail to you oh glorious man for winning the prize. Now you have another trophy to add to your shelf. Wow, that pitiful. Have you ever considered “her” feelings or were you so busy trying to get what ‘you’ wanted that you neglected to see the outcome of what you’ve done? Women are quite emotional and our mechanism is built far better than yours and in a way that most men do not understand. We feel and are so much more compassionate. Perhaps it’s hormonal?
It’s hard to know what’s going on in a man’s mind, believe me, I’ve tried to get into their nugget on more than one occasion and I often fail miserably! That is why relationships can be incredibly frustrating sometimes, and for me most of the time. Lets try to dig deep into the depths of the male psyche so we can understand men’s mind’s better and improve your dating and relationships with the opposite sex.1) Why do men love the chase and why does it turn them off when women chase them?
Ask the average woman if she likes to be pursued by a man, and the reply you’ll most likely receive is a resounding yes! Who doesn’t like to be called, romanced with flowers, and wined and dined? And most of the time, it’s easy for women to assume the role of the chase because we assume that men enjoy doing the chasing. But… do they? We went in hot pursuit of the truth by grilling regular guys and relationship experts over the years, what I have come to learn and what was truly uncovered may surprise you.
Here is what I’ve learned; You can’t pursue romantic relationships like you would business. It’s not a deal to be done, hand shaken, document signed. They have a certain flow to them and a build up. For the most part it’s better to take things slowly. Here is the 4-1-1 on men and the chase, now this is me, cutting to the chase; Guys love the hunt. They are just fulfilling our destiny when we chase girls, even if we don’t end up winning them over. The chase is fun and feels natural. They don’t respond as well when we are being chased, they kind of don’t know what to do. Here is what most women don’t know about men, they love the The Giddiness Factor.You know that fun part of the relationship where every thing is new and you’re giddy about everything? You get those butterflies in your tummy every time you see that special person. Part of the amazing part of giddiness is feeling unsure of how things are going, with an overall positive vibe. This is the essence of the thrill of the chase: anything’s possible!
Beware those ladies; If you show too much interest he could easily perceive this as being needy. He may think that you have no other options or are desperate. It could well be the case that he’s the coolest guy you’ve met in a long time, however you’d still be fine without him. Listen, you don’t NEED him and if fate happens and you don’t end up with him… Well guess what? Such is life. You have to accept that and not pursue him or pressure him. The bottom line here is that what you want is true happiness.
I was raised in a really old fashion household where my mom used to tell me not to call boys, ever…in fact, I got grounded if Mom caught me calling a boy…she used to say “let them chase you!” Today, although I am much older, and wiser, I’m not sure how I feel about that saying? Love and life is not a game. Reality is what we make it and our destiny is what we do to pursue the rare form of happiness.
My thoughts are simple; If a man thinks that you are worth the pursuit, then nothing or no one will get in his way and he will win the heart of his fair maiden in the end (although, now it may take some time and getting creative.) If a man cares for you enough, you will become his priority and not an option as that old quote goes…It’s a two-way street gals…it’s not just about the man doing it all, you need to step up to the plate and kick this into overdrive. In the end, if you both were really meant to be together regardless of so many circumstances and obstacles that appear to be putting forces and walls up against you, you will get past it.
Futhermore, in getting to know this person slowly and in a more meaningful way, the ingenious thing you’ve done is that now you have built a solid foundation based on friendship first and then love. It’s crucial to have this bond first as with friendship, you can embrace anything and learn to overcome what most would could never do. This is one that will last forever as you have conquered what takes most so long to figure out, nonetheless, you will be the ones that overcame the games, the bullshit and the days of wondering ‘what if?’ The pursuit to happiness is not on a path down Easy Street, however, without letting your guard down and learning to trust a little, day by day, you’ll never know what ‘might have been’ if you just throw the towel in and call it quits now. Sometimes you have to give it your all, whatever that may be….
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