WhAt is SaFe SeX?
From the time I was a young girl, I heard about it, and knew of it, but quite honestly, my parents never taught us kids what sex was in a true essence so imagine when we discovered it how wonderful it was? Yes, wonderful all right, then 9 months later I was walking the floors with a colicky baby that cried and took my social life away. I was young …Yes, naive? Very much…My thoughts were, “It won’t happen to me…” So I did what most girls do. I gave into temptation.
Let me tell you about temptation. First off if you are a young lady reading this and you think that having a baby is easy… Call me, I’ve got news for you! Your life is OVER…or at least until that baby is raised and supporting itself. Raising a child is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. You learn to immediately put YOUR NEEDS on the back burner for at least 20 years! Now multiply that, ..I have 2. No, I was not a single mother, I did marry the man who knocked me up as so many people called it. I actually loved him and we were planning to marry, just not yet. At 19 though, do we really know what love is? I look at my kids now, who turned out GREAT and I pat myself on the back for everything that went right when so, so many things could have gone wrong. I guess that’s where values came in.I was raised with plenty of them, minus the
‘sex talk’ speech, and that carried on to my children who are now 27 and 25. I look at them through a “mothers eyes” and think that they would be too young to have a baby. I wouldn’t change my life for anything and to those who laughed and mocked me when I was 19 and learned of my pregnancy I say to them, “what do you think of me now?” I have kids living in two of the largest cities of the USA with excellent college degrees, my son now having just finished his 2nd BS. They have great paying jobs that they LOVE because I taught them to work hard, dream big and never ever settle.
I’m 47 now and would actually love grandchildren. I figure, shit, if I could practically raise two kids alone during the toughest times in their early teens after a divorce, I can certainly take on the role as a single grandparent! That probably won’t happen. Neither of my kids want kids at this time of their life. Why….well, they say there are 2 reasons; 1) they are selfish and want to explore and travel the world (wonder where they got that from?) and 2) They don’t want to the responsibility just yet. (they tell me all the time that they cannot imagine how their father and I did it at such a young age.) Looking back now, I wonder the same thing, but we did. As a parent you make sacrifice after sacrifice and you go without because that’s the avenue that you chose the day you had sex and got pregnant. What used to be all about “you” now because all about “them.” Some say that they lost a bit of their life when they had a baby. I disagree, but I recommend waiting until you have cash in the bank and are truly 110% focused. My son asked me one day when he finally put two and two together counting days and months on the calendar….”Mom, was I a mistake?” What does a mother say to that? The only thing I said was “Honey, NO, but if you were a mistake you were the best damn mistake I ever made!” It’s the truth. My kids taught me to not be selfish and I learned the true meaning of “unconditional love~” There is NO book that can teach you that.
Sex is a beautiful thing, what I suggest is to just think long and hard gals before you do it, because like me, who thought “it won’t happen…” it just might. Then what are you going to do? Getting on to why we’re really here…it’s discovering and learning about sex. For goodness sake, make sure you know your partner. One night stands are fun and all sure, BUT in comparison to my life, that one night might affect the rest of your life, and I don’t mean with a pregnancy, I mean if you are too quick to “do” and too stupid to “think” you can end up with a serious STD. These days, they are everywhere. If you have one, don’t hide it. Make sure that you tell your partner. After having had this conversation with a very close friend, I learned that although I wouldn’t have wanted a man to know my secrets, but IF I had something, the practical and honest thing to do would be to get it out in the open. Why did I think differently than her? For a few reasons, I can count on less than two hands the number of men I have slept with in my lifetime and she…well, she could write a book on the men of her life. My values were different, and again it goes back to the fact that I was quite naive.
Now, lets talk cold hard facts about the attributes of sex, and the misleading topics. To the women who are reading this that think by having a baby at a young age it will solve all of your financial problems I say WTF are you thinking? Here’s where I’m coming from on this matter. My son, when he was 23 years old informed me that his best friend, a cute gal who was 20 got pregnant. She was a single mother and realized that the state would help her out, and bring her HIGH TAX RETURNS, food stamps, WIC and so much more…so what did she do? Within 5 years she had 3 more babies. It’s nice to know isn’t it that our hard earned tax dollars are going to these young women who would rather sit around with a bunch of babies that they really can’t take care of because they can get their hair and nails done on us, on OUR dollars. Give me a break! No one gave me anything. We worked our asses off for what we had and when our kids got sick, they got their medicine but their father and I didn’t eat for a week. I had to work two jobs to put two kids through college and these women that thought it was ok to get pregnant to cheat the system, well, their kids will get a free ride in college, where as you and I will be paying parent loans until we’re dead! Sad, but true. I don’t think that any child should suffer or miss out because their parents didn’t have brains, but hopefully they will learn from this and not follow in the same pattern. Am I being harsh, you bet I am!
If you are a parent and you have kids, teach them all that you can about sex so that they know you did a great job raising them, and add this finishing touch that might change their life and allow them to do things the right way. Save them from what I went through at such a young age. Please do not misconstrue what I am saying, I have NO REGRETS. I followed the path and I am who I am today because of my past. Babies are a joy, but babies shouldn’t be having babies! If I knew then what I know now….well, you know how that saying goes?
So let’s talk safe sex shall we? What is it? Safe sex is the practice of using precautions when having sex. The reason for this is to avoid getting or passing on a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or other infection. STDs are contagious diseases caused by germs, usually bacteria or viruses. They are usually passed to others through sexual intercourse or other sexual contact. STDs include Chlamydia, genital warts, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis B and C, herpes, and human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). Some STDs in females, if not treated, can make you infertile (not able to have babies). HIV infection can cause acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS), which may be fatal. Body fluids can contain the germs that cause STDs. They include saliva, urine, blood, vaginal fluids, and semen.
- Safe sex precautions decrease or prevent the exchange of body fluids during sexual contact. There are a number of measures you can take to practice safe sex. The safest measure is complete abstinence (not having sex with anyone). Other measures include limiting your number of sexual partners and avoiding vaginal and anal intercourse. The most important measure when having intercourse is to use a condom (rubber). Avoid sexual contact with anyone who has an untreated STD or while they are being treated. Certain safe sex practices may also be used to help prevent pregnancy.
Safe sex means taking precautions during sex that can keep you from getting a sexually transmitted infection (STI), or from giving an STI to your partner.
STIs are also referred to as sexually transmitted diseases, or STDs. (sexually transmitted disease) These diseases include genital herpes, genital warts, HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis B and C, and others.
A sexually transmitted illness (STI) is a contagious disease that can be transferred to another person through sexual intercourse or other sexual contact. Many of the organisms that cause STIs live on the penis, vagina, anus, mouth, and the skin of surrounding areas.
Most of the diseases are transferred by direct contact with a sore on the genitals or mouth. However, some organisms can be transferred in body fluids without causing a visible sore. They can be transferred to another person during oral, vaginal, or anal intercourse.
Some STIs can also be transferred by nonsexual contact with infected tissues or fluids, such as infected blood. For example, sharing needles when using IV (in the vein) drugs is a major cause of HIV and hepatitis B transmission. An STI can also be transmitted through contaminated blood transfusions and blood products, through the placenta from the mother to the developing baby, and sometimes through breastfeeding.
The following factors increase your risk of getting an STI:
- Not knowing whether a partner has an STI or not
- Having a partner with a history of any STI
- Having sex without a male or female condom
- Using drugs or alcohol in a situation where sex might occur
- If your partner is an IV drug user
- Having anal intercourse
How do I practice safe sex?
Don’t do it! Sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. haha, just kidding…If abstaining from sexual activity with a partner is not practical for you, you should do all of these:
- Avoid activities or items that can pass germs: Avoid vaginal or anal hand intercourse, mouth to mouth or french (wet) kissing, or using saliva (spit) as a lubricant. Do not use dildos, vibrators, and other sex toys on both yourself and your sex partner.
- Condoms and barriers:These are usually made from latex. If you are allergic to latex, use a non-latex product such as polyurethane.
- Condoms: Use a condom every time you will have vaginal or anal sex. Condoms for both men and women are available. Condoms can prevent germs from spreading and help keep a woman from getting pregnant.
- Barriers: An oral barrier, such as a dry condom or latex square, must be used when doing oral sex.
- Limit sexual partners: Have sex with a single partner or avoid multiple sex partners. Also avoid having sex with strangers or those with unknown sexual history.
- Testing and treatment:
- Screening tests: If you are sexually active, you should get tested for STDs on a regular basis. This is very important if you have multiple sexual partners. You may have an STD and not know it. If you are pregnant, you will be screened for STDs to prevent passing them to your unborn baby.
- Suspected infections: Get tested if you think or know you had contact with someone who has STD. See a caregiver if you think you have an STD for early treatment. Tell all your sexual partners if you are diagnosed with STD so that they may also be tested and treated. Do not have sex while you are being treated or with a partner who is being treated. Do not have sex until your caregiver tells you it is safe to do so.
- One last note; Before you sleep with someone, think about how many partners he may or may not have had in the past, because what you don’t know, is that now, they are part of you as well.
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