Let me ask you a question…How into someone do you have to be to realize that it is or isn’t the right fit? More importantly…How into this person are you to know that they are one of a kind and that no matter how long you look, she/he is what you have not only searched for most of your life but desire all the more? Do you think of them when you aren’t with them? Do you go to sleep thinking of this person and wake yup doing the same? What if you are feeling all of these incredible things and you find out that…..they don’t feel the same? How can you determine if this is going to be a solid relationship or a bad rejection? You don’t…not always. Sometimes life turns out wonderful and you build a relationship with this wonderful person, and other times you are devastated as you meet rejection face to face.
Most people won’t get it, or you…in fact your family and friends might even think you’re nuts for having these feelings. So what do you do when someone you have your eye on or you love rejects you? Do you feel sad and think that your life is over? Or do you brush off what has happened and just move on in your life? Ponder this question and the answer you come up with could be a major key in how you handle relationship rejection.
Major causes of relationship rejection
• They might not be interested in you
• They might not be interested in a relationship now
• They might be interested in someone else
• Perhaps they don’t like your personality and life style
Dealing with relationship rejection is not at all easy, and unfortunately, it can hurt others besides yourself especially if there is a child or children involved in the equation, so what is the easy way to express feelings and to learn from this?
If your goal is to learn how to deal with relationship rejection and find someone to love, then follow the guide below:
1. Change your focus
I can guarantee if you don’t change your focus from the simple point of convergence on the rejection to something else more uplifting, dealing with rejection will stay difficult for you, and this is NOT something you want following around you forever. Why? Are you serious? Because it is not healthy and it is not the way to make your next possible relationship work. When you meet a man/woman and you begin thinking of them all the time, for no reason or for every reason, you need to dwell on this; If you care for them, make certain that you are over your previous love, 1) it’s not fair to them, and 2) it’s not fair or healthy at all for you. You both deserve better. I’m not saying that a few weeks from now or a month from now you won’t feel the same way about this person, but at least you’ll have had time to sit back, gather your thoughts, ponder your options, and plan your move to win his/her heart.
There are many different methods that will help you change your focus like meditation, visualization, remembering a positive experience from your past, smiling, and laughing. At first focusing can be difficult especially if you have been just rejected, but with constant practice on shifting your focus, it will get easier and becomes a positive habit in your life.
2. Create a positive spin;
Add a new twist to this mixture by assigning a positive purpose to the situation. This is one of the best ways to deal with relationship rejections from the past. Once someone rejects you; simply say to yourself that what has happened is for the best because you are meant to find someone else who is better in all ways, who deserves you and to be loved by you whole heartedly and so completely.
People who deal with relationship rejection skillfully are masters at assigning a positive purpose to situations and events. Their self esteem is high and believe they are worth of the best, nothing less. Here are some positive purposes you can assign when you get rejected:
• It is her/his loss for rejecting me
• The fact that I got rejected means someone better is on the way, and I will welcome this person.
• This rejection is meant to teach me something so I’m going to look for the lesson and learn from it.
• The list is endless so feel free to add more to the list…believe me, you will.
The key is for the purpose to be positive and uplifting. Don’t beat yourself up, focus on this new person and see him.her as a future potential. Don’t be afraid to tell them that you care, otherwise, they may move on to someone else and become involved if you don’t speak up. You know that old saying listen to your gut, but follow your heart. Emotions are hard to fight, nonetheless, make sure that you are really ready so that no one gets hurt in the future!
3. Take responsibility
Take responsibility for your thoughts and emotions and stop playing the victim. Often when people get rejected in a relationship, they start thinking there is something wrong with them. Statements such as “Why didn’t she or he like me? There is something wrong with me, otherwise she/he would’ve liked me” are very common.
Playing the victim doesn’t serve you any good and it makes it very difficult for you to deal with relationship rejection. The sooner you say to yourself that your happiness is what matters and you will not let anyone’s rejection upset you, the better it will be for you.
4. Stop seeking approval!
Listen, you don’t need me, or someone telling you who you should be with,…right? Creating a happier you creates confidence, and a more attractive YOU! Sooo…giddy up. Go find that right person…or if you already have, figure out how to keep her/him and make it work. You don’t need anyones approval for your happiness. YOU decide who who want to be with and only you know what kind of person is truly the “one” that will keep you smiling for years and years to come. Make sure that there is a deep connection, and that this person is quite genuine. There are a lot of ways to find this out. Pay attention to what other people say about this person, watch their lifestyle and how they interact with others, observe their family, friends, and do what I do, Google them. You can find things out about a person by what others think via comments on a FB page, a blog or read press relseases or bios on them.
Remember, we are all on a path, and the big guy upstairs has a plan for us. It might not be with the person you originally desired, however, maybe the vision was to be that this particular person was not the intended one for you after all? Maybe you just really need someone that loves you for you, and someone who can and will save you from yourself? I used to wonder why people were taken from me, why I was rejected, and then I realized that it wasn’t my turn to love whole heartedly just yet,..and I am now. My grandmother was my best friend and she used to always tell me that I would find love when I least expected it, and not to look for it. I stopped looking a while ago. If it is meant to be, it will be. You should feel this way as well. Love will find you. It is possible, and stranger things have happened. After all, it is about loving one another.
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