Good Sex in a Good Relationship

Do you often feel bad, embarrassed and insecure about your body? So many of us do. Is your insecurity about your body preventing your relationship with your partner from having a good and healthy sex life? Are you obsessed with the way your body looks regardless of what everyone else tells you? Listen, no one has the perfect body on the contrary to what you may be thinking.

The following tips will help you conquer your body insecurity and start having a more open and healthy sexual and intimate relationship with your partner:

 Hey….Stop Playing Victim. If you know what bothers you about your body, then work on a plan that will help you improve the area(s) that make you feel insecure. Nothing will get done alone or with wishful thinking. If you are serious about making changes and really want a close, open and intimate relationship with your partner, then you will make the effort to give yourself the confidence you need.

 Stick to your Plan. There will be times when you will feel weak and want to go back to your old habits and ways. To prevent from doing so, be sure to remind yourself of how you felt when you were following your old patterns. Do you want to go back to feeling down and confident-less? No! So be strong and remind yourself of why you are making these changes in the first place. Nothing is more important than achieving the happiness you deserve and the close intimate connection you and your partner need to have with each other.

 Do Not set Unrealistic Deadlines. Avoid setting deadlines that are unrealistic for you. By setting unrealistic deadlines, you will only feel pressured and stress and when you reach your deadline and see that you did not accomplish what you have hoped for, you will be disappointed and give up. Remember, good things take time and patience and you deserve the patience and quality time and efforts that go into yourself, so just take it one day at a time and do not beat yourself up.

 Stay Positive. In order to achieve the satisfying physical changes you are dreaming of, you will need to make some mind adjustments first. A healthy mind equals a healthy body, because your positive thinking will give you the encouragement and strength needed to push yourself to your limits and make your dreams come true. You will be with yourself for the rest of your life, so start being your own best friend and feed yourself healthy doses of positive thoughts that will keep you going so you can get the self-confidence you need to feel free when intimate with your lover. You can have good sex in a good relationship with communication and practice.

 

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TSA: The Sex Toys on Airplane Rules!

Traveling is fun, and shouldn’t be stressful,…but what happens if you get stopped at the airport terminal with sex toys in your bags? Things have changed since a few years ago and air travel is different now. So here is the new 4-1-1: No mace, lighters, or tubes of toothpaste on airplanes, BUT ladies you can take your toys! Yup, you heard me correctly!

TSA okays vibrators, whips, and chains for air travel. No need to hide these bad boys any longer or feel ashamed to carry them, or worse,…have to deal with the TSA when they go through your luggage looking for the device or foreign objects that shows up on the detectors or scanners.

Traveling with most small vibrators carries no more restrictions than flying with an electric toothbrush. TSA officers are trained to identify and handle sex toys. However, there are a few tips you should know when flying with your pleasure product to avoid an embarrassing scene or the loss of your electric pleasure stick:

Be proud of your sex toy:

That’s right….take ownership! Being ashamed of your dependence on your vibrator to get through a holiday weekend will only arouse suspicion, especially if you’re nervous about flying with your magic wand. TSA officers are trained to identify and provide extra screening for nervous travelers. If you’re asked about your electronic device, don’t plead ignorance. This will only trigger additional screening and the possible confiscation of your toy. Be honest and straightforward. Saying, “Yes, that is my vibrator,” is usually enough to end any line of questioning.

If you bring a foot-long dong as a carry-on, it better have its own ticket:

You can bring a machete on an airplane so long as you pack it in your checked-luggage. If your vibrator is anatomically correct or large enough to be described as club-like, pack it in your checked bags. If you don’t have checked bags, only bring a vibrator small enough to fit in your pocket. When in doubt, or you are dealing with an expensive vibrator, put it in your checked luggage or leave it at home.

Hand tools are okay for carry-on: Vibrators smaller than seven inches are classified as hand tools and may be stored in your carry-on bag.

Remove the batteries: There is nothing more suspicious than a piece of luggage that is shaking and emitting a muffled humming sound.

Lubes: Treat personal lubricants as you would any other gel or lotion. Transfer your lube to unlabeled plastic bottles no larger than three ounces. All of your lube should be able to fit into a 1-quart plastic bag. If not you may have a problem larger than being an inefficient packer.

Bondage equipment: Whips and handcuffs are fine for carry-on, but like masturbation, their use mid-flight is frowned upon. If questioned about your gear by security, own up to these items and start to explain in detail how you use them. They’ll die of embarrassment and you’ll have everyone in line behind you wishing they were going on vacation with you! Trust me on this one…you will be waved through.

Sex toys overseas: Just because flying with sex toys is your patriotic right in the U.S., in other countries, particularly in the Middle East, pleasure products can land you in jail.

 

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MUST SEE: VEGAS…The SHOW

If you are in Las Vegas, Nevada, or if you are planning a trip there, make time to see “The Show” at the Planet Hollywood. A good friend of ours stars in the show as Cher as she and another gentleman do a Sonny & Cher duet. It’s quite entertaining and you’ll be so happy that  you took the time to see this show! Joelle Righetti, our friend, plays Cher and she is great! Joelle does a lot of acting. She was recently in an episode of “Raising Hope.” You’ll be happy that you took my advice on this one! This show sells out very quickly, so get your tickets soon!

Simply Delicious Lingerie proudly endorses Ms Righetti and we are thrilled to call her our friend!

 

Thank You!

Michele Savin, Owner/CEO

Simply Delicious Lingerie

www.SimplyDeliciousLingerie.com

 

 

 

 

 

Possessive and Jealous Men..How do You Deal with Them?

Houston, We’ve got a problem! The biggest problem in our dating world are jealous and possessive men. While they are desperate to find a woman they can love and adore, once they have found her possessive men most often do not believe they can keep hold of her due to a lack of self-confidence, self-respect and self-belief. They don’t truly believe they deserve the girl so they try to subjugate her to rely on them and increase the woman’s sense of dependency. It is all too common these days as more and more men feel uneasy about who they truly are and lack self-esteem. Yes, they will play mind games with you. This is not at all uncommon.

The first hurdle a woman faces is in not being able to spot a jealous and possessive man in advance. He is charming and good-looking, he has the world at his feet so it appears and you have absolutely no reason to think he isn’t prince charming. And maybe he is Mr. nice-guy at this stage…but if you know then what you later discover things would be much easier. This is so true, so pay closer attention will you please?

This shocking revelation may be will known to many women  but for a guy no one realized at that time quite how large the problem was. The key issue it appears is a man’s low self-esteem. Usually the possessive and jealous guy believes his lady will be stolen away from him. He doesn’t trust her or her words of love and ignores the fact that she stays with him. He feels she is plotting to escape at any turn, looking for a way out and doesn’t really love him at all. Why? Simply because he feels he doesn’t deserve her and deep down believes she could do far better than him.

This causes the possessive man a dilemma. If she would really like to run away then how can you make her stay. Easy, what they will do is make her dependent on me, make her need you and want you and have no need to be anywhere but with you. The man doesn’t love himself so he doesn’t understand why she loves him either. But he needs to feel she does, so he needs to have demonstrations as to how far she will go for him. He will promote the positive attitude of staying at home together and group social activities will be extinguished. At home you are where he can see you.

As a relationship develops the possessive man will find ways of ensuring you are there for him. He will create fictitious scenarios where he needs your help and assistance which affect your social routine. Rather than meeting friends you will be assisting him. Of course at first this is all part of romantic relationship building. After all you want to spend as much time as possible with the man you love. Bit by bit he will divorce you for your everyday friends and activities, even spending time illustrating how your friends are not really your true friends. He is isolating you for his own needs.

Once he has done that he will also then criticize you and make you feel bad about yourself to ensure that you too have low self-esteem. Why? Power. They want to feel superior to you and paralyze you so that you stay. If you don’t feel good about yourself then how will anyone else ever want you. He will tell you how lucky you are to have him and he will always love you for who you are. And eventually he will build up that degree of dependence (and fear) so much that you will truly believe that what he says is true. Your own identity becomes a thing of the past and your friends will make many worried comments to you that you will ignore or make excuses for.

At this stage you are now where he wants you, isolated and dominated. He feels better about himself because you depend on him, but he will never trust you, because he will always believe that there is a conspiracy that you will escape. That you don’t really love him after all. He needs constant demonstration and proof that you do. Your friends and his will not know any of this though they may suspect. He will still be the great social guy in groups. Bit it can get to the point where you dread going out socially in case you get a hard time when you get home. This my friends, is not what your life is all about. This isn’t why we date and have relationships. Yes we all want to feel desired, wanted and loved in our lover’s eyes. But not like this.

A little jealousy, ironically can go along way. Women (and men) like being loved and wanted and a secure arm round the waist drawing you in can be great fun. Small amounts of jealousy (very small in a playful way) can be attractive and sexy. But its knowing when things have gone too far that matters. Many women have admitted to me that a man who has not a single jealous bone in his body cannot really love her. A man needs to show he cares by drawing her in occasionally. Both parties feel good from this. But it has to be kept under control.

There are many reasons why men are becoming more possessive in today’s society and we all have our own theories. It is possible that with the rise of women in the workplace and in determining their own independence financially and socially, that men feel increasingly threatened. Their traditional role as husband and father, the dominant voice in the household, is increasingly archaic and has little place in current society. Instead they are desperately attempting to reposition themselves in a relationship and find out what their new role really is. But old habits die hard and men still try to cling on to the ways in which they were brought up. It will take time for men to learn that they are not always the primary focus in a relationship and must give as much attention to the needs of their partner, as they give to him. And to be honest I do not expect miracles overnight.

Men who don’t feel good about their own domestic roles, their lack of masculinity, their frustrations with their own poor career, their lack of financial success, their dominant parental influences and their general lack of well-being can all assist in the progression of possessive tendencies. To own someone is not to have them. To be loved is an open invitation, not something to be captured and kept imprisoned.

A happy, confident, self-assured man doesn’t have issues about possession and jealousy. No although many aspects of a relationship may be shared, he also treasures his girlfriend’s independence and her assured separate set of values, as she does in him. Relationships are about sharing but also about retaining freedom of self-expression and personal identity. Relationships are also about innate trust.

There was an interesting article recently in a national newspaper about how dominant career women with great success and financial wealth often still had very dominant partners at home. Let us not confuse manliness and masculinity with possessiveness. Jealousy and possessiveness is about stripping away confidence, esteem and dignity. It is about subjugating and decrying the needs of the injured party for the wishes of the stronger force. That has no place in our modern world.

Jealous and possessive men are sad and pathetic creatures who are all too common today. As a woman you do not need ever to put up with them and neither do they really deserve you. The huge irony involved is that had the guy been relaxed and self-assured he would probably have never lost you in the first place, but his low self-esteem meant that he forced to happen what he most dreaded. You leaving him. If you are reading this and have yet to leave, then you will need your friends and family to assist as you are dealing with a person with serious psychological issues.

He will try to keep you and will use any psychological measure he can to make you need him and come back. He will work on the weak spots he has already created in you. Beware of this, and seriously walk away, nope, better yet,..RUN! Remember, I’m no expert but in case studies this has turned out to be emotionally dysfunctional and lead to no good. No one wants or needs a jealous mate. No one needs chaos in their lives and that is exactly what you will end up with if you stay in a relationship like this thinking you can get him to change. It’s not going to happen.  Relationships are all about trust. If you don’t have that you can kiss the farm and the dairy good-bye because you’re milking the wrong cow. You deserve so much more respect. Love is a precious gift. You are a good person and there is someone who will appreciate you and love you for all of your fine qualities!

 

 

What about Bedroom Etiquette?

How Long Do You Wait?

You are dating someone new. How long do you wait until you have sex? (No, this is not a trick question.) This is a personal choice really. As a guy, you may have little or no qualms about having sex as soon as possible. If you’re a women you are usually a little more reticent to give it up right away. A younger person may answer this question differently from an older person. Nowadays, it seems fairly common for people to hook up on a first date or after only a few. Is this this right choice for you? You get to decide and it will happen if and only when you say it will. No if’s and’s or but’s about it!

Who Provides the Birth Control?

Again, this is to be negotiated. Unfortunately, many wait until the peak of passion to whisper breathlessly to the other person, “Did you bring a condom?” If you want to have sex, don’t assume your partner is prepared, always have your birth control handy. This can totally blow the moment. All that sexual tension and passion up in a cloud of smoke because no one has protection. Buy it for the “just in case” it ever happens days and leave it in your night stand next to the bed for heaven sakes!

Negotiating the Relationship

When you have sex with someone for the first time, it is good to then discuss your expectations as well as the other persons. Is this a one-night stand? Do you want to hook up again? Do you want to date? I’ve known guys who have hooked up with girls who then assume that they own the men. This is not healthy nor wise and it leaves a clinger to be dealt with. Avoid hurt feelings by talking about expectations about the relationship up front as soon as possible.

The Right to Spend the Night?

Just because you’ve had sex with someone doesn’t mean they want you to spend the night. While some may feel entitled to spend the night with their sexual partners this privilege should not be assumed. Always ask permission and clear out quickly if permission is not granted.

Listen up; Dinner Does Not Entitle Sex. If you buy dinner for a date it doesn’t entitle you to sex. A bottle of wine does NOT entitle you to sex either. Respect her/him if you think they has fine qualities and remember that she/he may be a true gift. You might not think you are ready  for a soild relationship, but ponder this; what if this was the right person for you and you (out of fear, or your own insecurities) passed this wonderful person by to “buy more time” for your social life of being a player? This may seem like a 1950’s convention that doesn’t need to be written but believe me, there are some really old-fashioned, sexist types out there who think this is true..but you really have no right to spend the night.

Say Thank You

If you’ve had good sex with a partner, thank him or her! Really, and why not!? If someone has pleased you sexually be appreciative by thanking him or her, it is only polite, plus they’ll not only admire you they will have their ego stroked and everyone loves that. It boosts our confidence and reminds us that we are still good…and we all love knowing that, don’t we?