What is the scoop on dating sites? Are they good or are they bad? Can you trust these sites? Do they screen their members? Who sets the rules? Does everyone follow the rules, or are their rule breakers? All I hear about online and around my friends is “Are you going to the fish event, or you should sign up for POF (plenty of fish), you should get a sugar daddy, or meet the man of your dreams or get 6 months free”….what most people don’t know is that I did try a dating site a few years back and met a nice guy who turned out to be married and deceiving and thought he had life by the balls …he was a resident in Michigan, but was working in Houston Texas, and… until I did a little digging only to learn that he was married and had two kids. He joined POF in Houston Texas, put up some old photos and said he was single. Why? Not sure, lonely, pathetic, or just wanted to score a piece of ass, unhappy marriage? What did this do to my emotions and well being? Well… I was crushed, mostly because I was so naive, and then I pondered the question…Why do men do this? Because they think that they can get away with it, or they have issues that can only be handled through therapy and counseling. Hey, listen, I’m not saying women don’t do the exact same thing on websites such as this and a variety of others because they do. I don’t want you to think that I am picking on one particular sex, because I am not. Both are guilty as charged.
Where am I going with this you ask? For years I have written about love and relationships. Recently I decided to check this out again so I rejoined under a new user name. I did this for a few reasons 1)out of mostly curiosity and 2) to see if the site made any changes? I joined Plenty of Fish otherwise knows as POF to see what kind of men were on the site and what their motives were. Shocking enough, as surprised as I thought I would be, I was angered and disappointed to say the least which now leads me to the question…Who exactly is running the show there and why is it that some people can get away with posting smutty photos while others including the profile that I created posted a terrific bio and photos that were…. lets just say, me, but perhaps a little provocative to some. What happened? I was scolded. I received the ole “You picture was in violation of our site, bla bla bla…”
Listen, they are not provocative to me in the least. I find them alluring sure, but most of them to be appealing in good taste, sensual and sexy. Why? I own a lingerie shop and sexy and sensual is a confidence that women need like we need air. There is nothing wrong with provocative photos. No I am not nor was I ever trying to use POF as an advertising stomping ground for free. I was there merely to get a look at what was going on with dating sites in general, and I chose them first because of all of the hype they get. Look at some of the women on POF and view their photos and their bios. In all honesty, what I saw…was flat-out and as plain as the nose on my face a stomping ground for whores looking for a quick fix. Ladies? well, actually I shouldn’t call you ladies, but what are you thinking?
If you are going to sell yourself for sex, grow a brain and don’t do it on a free site where men are not going to take you serious. How do I know this? So many men that befriended me on POF told me about the women and how quickly they wanted to meet up for sex only a few short hours after beginning conversation. Now I have heard everything…pimping yourself out on a FREE dating site. You know…There are sites to go to if you have the “package deal” that you can arrange a NSA kind of relationship where you both win and get allowances to do so. Are those sites discrete? You bet they are, and they are NOT free. In fact they are quite costly, but well worth the price. Isn’t your privacy worth a lot to you? When you join a site like POF and other sites for free and display yourself like a cold hearted tramp, you are making good normal women such as myself and so so many others look bad and we are now frowned upon ‘ no thanks’ to you!
Everything in my bio was true and 100% of who I am, and what I want from a man..no lies, no bending the truth..my age is my real age, my pictures are my pictures. I display a sincere and honest women…so where does that get you? Not far really. What was ever worse that how they tore my images apart almost on a daily basis were the other women and what they allow on this site. I mean, seriously is this a free dating site or a whore house gone public? Either someone doesn’t know how to run the show there or they pick and choose who they want to get the attention to drum them up new business then cut that individual off practically at the knees when others complain that they are not getting noticed.
My photos were deleted of me showing my back in a sundress walking up a sand dune on a beach, but put my photo up in a red hot bikini top and it stayed for hours. In the first 30 minutes I had 87 emails and men trying to IM me for conversation. Were these men really interested in me or are they horndogs? Who is behind all of this then, and why do my photos keep disappearing? Is it the jealous women who turn you in and click on the (if you don’t see an image of the face, report here?) or the outraged men that send you obscene gestures and email notes expecting to get a rise out of you and when you either A) don’t respond back, or B) delete them they get all pissy? Both,and or all of the above…is what I am guessing. Do dating sites use particular profiles as tools to better suit themselves? You bet they do.
How does a normal person succeed on a dating site when they only want to be themself? What a sad world it has become when you judge a person by their photo and not their inner beauties. I”’ tell you, I have a lot of friends who express their joys and sorrows regarding dating often and my heart aches for them because they’ll make the best partner for someone but they don’t want all the red tape to deal with either. I believe in fate, and paths crossing for reasons.
What is this doing to normal people like myself who is fully behind the dating scene and suggests to ALL of my friends to try a dating site? It’s putting a bad taste in my mouth. Think about it, it’s a free site, and my grandmother always did say that when it is free you get what you pay for. She also used to say “Michele, there are plenty of fish in the sea!” I don’t know what sea she was referring to but the one sea of fish that I just recently joined for free is not at all what I anticipated, and wow, did I learn more than I ever anticipated.
1) People Lie to you, yes FLAT OUT LIE!
2) They lie about their looks, age, and how ’bout this shocker..their marital status!
3) They post pictures that are 10-20 yrs old. Good Lord,…why?
4) They don’t know how to be genuine or honest.
Now, I am not at all saying that all men and women on that site act as such, BUT, we must be careful due to our ethics and especially or business practices, following, clients, vendors, and customer in my case, as well as what gets out via word of mouth. What are my thoughts? Your really don’t want to know. I do know that people are going to be petitioning congress and anyone else that will listen in the future to ask, no insist that companies like “Plenty of Fish” take more responsibility and step up to the plate to elevate these pain in the ass people on dating site who cannot be truthful,who are wronging all of us and tarnishing our good reputations. People go to these sites seeking possibly finding Mr/Ms Right. If you want a quick piece of ass, do yourself a big favor and go to the corner bar and pick someone up for a one night stand, don’t ruin it for the good people who deserve true happiness.
I am, at the moment however, standing up for POF because they deserve that much from me, and out of respect for them in what they are trying to do; I say that this POF could be a highly potential phenomenal dating site ranked up in that top 10, but it will never get there if they continue to display the actions that they do and allow things to happen as such. No they are not babysitters, nor can they keep an eye on everyone, but there has to be something that can be enforced here to keep people on the straight and narrow? 1) like most other sites, there should be a 24-48 hour hold so that someone can check out your bio and approve the photos BEFORE they get posted. 2) set stricter policies, 3) ba allowed to delete without notice if you get too many complaints.
Actually for all the hype that I got on POF I wondered why they can complain about anything… when they aren’t even ranked amongst the top 10 dating sites. Why? Well, look what happened to me, and you’ll get your answers. Who were the high ranking sites? Glad you asked?
1) Match.com (as if that was a big surprise) I used them way back in the day after my divorce and it was a good site, but even better now.
7) JDate.com (for Jewish people)
In closing, in no way whatsoever am I stating NOT to try a dating site, in fact, as I stated earlier, I am all for this form of dating, especially in a society today where we are too busy to meet a man/woman the old fashion way, although as old fashion as I still am, I do believe that my prince is right around the corner….he either took a wrong turn and got lost, or he isn’t seeing the bigger picture and has not yet realized how badly he really does need a woman like me in his life. I just suggest that you are well guarded if you join a dating site online. Remember, you may just meet the man/woman of your dreams there! Just beware, there are freaks, and stalkers and worse. These people prey on us when we are weak, so be strong, and never, ever, ever give out personal information to anyone, especially your address. I’d love to hear your experiences with dating sites…so please share with me yours so that we can show so many readers/viewers that love is possible, and dating sites are and do really work! Your site you used may not be on the top 10, however, there are a ton of sites that have excellent reputations and are solid, far too many to list, but don’t be afraid to mention your site so others can see it in my cooments section. Please share with not only myself but with everyone.
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