Building a Marriage

Marriage…to most people is the best thing in the world, yet others see it as the curse of death. Isn’t life is all about love? It was recently brought to my attention that I should share good marriages and why couples remain together and are so happy after years and years of getting to know one another. People like to hear how couples become a wonderful fit. What I have realized over the years and within my own marriage was that no man or woman is perfect, and you’ll never find the perfect fit. You might come close as my friend  stated but even then, there will be things that he does that you don’t care for, and there will be things that you do that might really annoy the hell  out of him. So what do you do when this happens?
You live with it, and you accept your spouse for who they are because THAT is the person you originally fell in love with. I am not an expert at all here…Building a great marriage is a skill to be learned and the skills needed will change and evolve as both spouses do. It is a great challenge to take on having a wonderful marriage that incorporates partnership, love, and mutual respect. But for those who take it on, the rewards are incredible.
 A solid relationship is like making a casserole. If you are missing one ingredient, your dish won’t taste right. In order to make a happy healthy marriage, it takes time and an acquired taste. Build a solid foundation, communication is KEY and be honest with one another. One thing that I am today is much stronger and I certainly do have a much better outlook on life. I was 19 when I married. How can one honestly know what love is at 19? Today I am 47 and I still wonder what love is? When you begin to learn about laying a good martial foundation from people who are marriage experts, you’ll find that building a partnership is much easier than you might have thought. You will most definitely begin to communicate more easily. These people are the experts, not you, and certainly not me.
Try avoiding many marital pitfalls that can plunge spouses into days or even months of being upset at one another. This is not good and quite unhealthy. Simple truth…the key to a harmonious marriage is for both spouses to take on creating a positive emotional state. Ask yourself, “What does this have to do with creating a powerful marriage?” It has everything to do with it. If both spouses are more skilled at living great lives, the easier it will become for them to create a great marriage. Solid marriages are always built by highly functional people. Again, they have what so many people only dream of having. They aren’t perfect, and they don’t like the same things sometimes, but they have taken the time to get to know one another and understand each other and listen.
Relationships aren’t all about talking. You have to LISTEN carefully to the needs of your partner, and then as my friend says, it will all fall into place. Finishing ones sentences becomes an everyday thing. What I wouldn’t give to have a man who could know what I was thinking and what to do to make me feel better when I am down. Great relationships DO exist! Happy marriages are all over the place and you can see love in the air amongst these people. I want to hear from YOU!  Tell me about your relationship so that we can share it in our comments section.  What I would like is if everyone would simply take a moment and share your wonderful relationship with my viewers. I would deeply appreciate it more than you know.
What I have put together is a short list that I gathered from surveys of things to make your marriage better;
3 Tools for a better marriage;
Tool #1 for Building an Awesome Marriage: When There is an Argument, Clear It Up and Don’t Look Back…simply not good to do. Don’t rehash the same old stuff. Talk about it, don’t bury it under the rug or you will find yourself in this mess again not too long from now. How many times as a couple have you had an argument and then one spouse is left fuming for days afterward. This is so toxic to a marriage. There’s nothing like simmering, low-grade anger or hostility to slowly but surely poison a marriage. The key is to train yourselves to have very little tolerance for disharmony.
Tool #2 for Building an Awesome Marriage: Refrain from Having the Last Word – There are little needling comments that we can make if we’re upset and we usually save them for the end of a discussion. They’re not meant to be positive or helpful. They’re simply meant to hurt one another. Often, we feel that we’re entitled to say such nasty things because of the callous behavior of our spouse. But these nasty, cutting remarks do not heal anything. They only serve to drive the wedge between you deeper. Got something to say…by all means GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST, a subtle way that is well-mannered and respected by your mate.
Tool #3 for Building an Awesome & Super-de-Dupper Marriage: Experts say; COMMUNICATE!!!!!!!!!! Go to the movies, take walks together, have a picnic – This is a healthy and cheap form of marriage therapy. It is great to get out and clear your head. Often, I think of great solutions to problems while I’m out walking.Plus this is the good time to clear the air and it gives you ample opportunity to talk and make amends. This is a winning proposition all around. After a walk, studies show that we are  more calm and able to see things more clearly. Remember, not everyone will experience love,  for it truly is a gift….however, when you do find it, embrace it.

3 responses to “Building a Marriage

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