What about Bedroom Etiquette?

How Long Do You Wait?

You are dating someone new. How long do you wait until you have sex? (No, this is not a trick question.) This is a personal choice really. As a guy, you may have little or no qualms about having sex as soon as possible. If you’re a women you are usually a little more reticent to give it up right away. A younger person may answer this question differently from an older person. Nowadays, it seems fairly common for people to hook up on a first date or after only a few. Is this this right choice for you? You get to decide and it will happen if and only when you say it will. No if’s and’s or but’s about it!

Who Provides the Birth Control?

Again, this is to be negotiated. Unfortunately, many wait until the peak of passion to whisper breathlessly to the other person, “Did you bring a condom?” If you want to have sex, don’t assume your partner is prepared, always have your birth control handy. This can totally blow the moment. All that sexual tension and passion up in a cloud of smoke because no one has protection. Buy it for the “just in case” it ever happens days and leave it in your night stand next to the bed for heaven sakes!

Negotiating the Relationship

When you have sex with someone for the first time, it is good to then discuss your expectations as well as the other persons. Is this a one-night stand? Do you want to hook up again? Do you want to date? I’ve known guys who have hooked up with girls who then assume that they own the men. This is not healthy nor wise and it leaves a clinger to be dealt with. Avoid hurt feelings by talking about expectations about the relationship up front as soon as possible.

The Right to Spend the Night?

Just because you’ve had sex with someone doesn’t mean they want you to spend the night. While some may feel entitled to spend the night with their sexual partners this privilege should not be assumed. Always ask permission and clear out quickly if permission is not granted.

Listen up; Dinner Does Not Entitle Sex. If you buy dinner for a date it doesn’t entitle you to sex. A bottle of wine does NOT entitle you to sex either. Respect her/him if you think they has fine qualities and remember that she/he may be a true gift. You might not think you are ready  for a soild relationship, but ponder this; what if this was the right person for you and you (out of fear, or your own insecurities) passed this wonderful person by to “buy more time” for your social life of being a player? This may seem like a 1950’s convention that doesn’t need to be written but believe me, there are some really old-fashioned, sexist types out there who think this is true..but you really have no right to spend the night.

Say Thank You

If you’ve had good sex with a partner, thank him or her! Really, and why not!? If someone has pleased you sexually be appreciative by thanking him or her, it is only polite, plus they’ll not only admire you they will have their ego stroked and everyone loves that. It boosts our confidence and reminds us that we are still good…and we all love knowing that, don’t we?


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