I’m curious…what do people think happens when they marry? This is definitely not an agreement to be entered into lightly. In fact, think long and hard, and be certain you are doing it for all the right reasons. Getting married is once in a lifetime decision for many people. When people wish to get married, invariably all of them expect a full life together. Very few would think of marriage as a short-term exercise. Hence, it is very much necessary that all aspects of a life together be fully analyzed before tying the knot. Usually men and women tend to have different perspectives about married life. It would be better to have open and honest discussion to sort out the possible future irritants or at least understand them so that some sort of compromise could be arrived at. As my grandmother used to always say “Nows the time to lay all of your cards on the table…” My grandmother was a pretty smart lady. I wished I’d have paid more attention to her sayings and listened more carefully in my younger years, nonetheless, I did learn from her and wish to share some of what I found valuable information with you.
The reasons that a man looks at while desiring to marry her are innumerous. However, a few of them top the list in order of priority. For most men, the need of a woman in life is necessitated by the motherly love that he had received in his early life. He needs a woman who can show him the same love and who could fulfill his physical and emotional needs. That is why many men look for the same qualities in a woman who their mothers possess. The second reason is to have a lifetime companion, who can share his desires and needs. The third reason is love. When a man feels that he loves a particular woman, he wants to own her fully. This might appear to be a wrong reason but that is the way humans are made. Everybody likes to possess what he or she desires and human relationships are no different. In some cases, the man might marry a woman because she has become pregnant and is carrying his child. Certain men wish to marry a woman who is having the same career as his, so that they would be able to adapt to each other better. It is quite usual for a doctor to marry a doctor and a lawyer to marry a lawyer. They would be able to understand the work pattern and the workload of each other. However, few others are very particular that the woman is having a different profession, so that their interests do not clash. This choice depends on the outlook of the individual.
In short men marry women for the following main reasons.
- They wish to continue the motherly love received in childhood.
- Desire to have a lifetime companion.
- The love the man has for the woman.
- The woman having become pregnant by him.
- To have a woman who has a similar career for easier adaptability.
Women also marry men for nearly the same reasons. However, one important reason that women have in marriage is to escape from parents that they do not like or from a parent who is abusive. Sometimes, men also marry for this reason but the number is much lesser than women. So the reasons for a woman marrying a man can be enumerated as follows.
- She’s tired of living at home and wants to escape from parents.
- Desire to have a lifetime companion.
- Love for the man.
- Having become pregnant by the man.
- To have a man having a similar career for easier adaptability.
The reasons for getting married are quite obvious. On the other hand, the reasons for not getting married are much more complicated. In fact, it would be difficult to mention all of the reasons for not getting married. However, the reasons for a marriage becoming a failure could be discussed with more ease. There are several jokes about marriage but nearly all of them are at the expense of the woman. There should be some strong reasons for that. Probably, the main reasons are the innumerable needs that women have that drain the purse of a man and the continuous nagging that women indulge in after marriage. One joke says that a successful man is one who can make more money than his wife spends but a successful woman is one who finds such a man. Many women tend to nag the men too much after marriage and at that point a man asks was this really worth it?
Perhaps in today’s society women are a threat to men because we tend to often make more money than the man. We may be the bread winners while they stay home with the children, etc. If you want to succeed in your marriage, communication is key. I say it over and over again. Lay your solid foundation from day one and be one an others friend, and you’ll begin to understand one another. Rushing into things too quickly result in a variety of things…you don’t know how the other lives, cleans, eats, drinks, sleeps, socializes, works,…if you need a good example, take Kim Kardishians marriage that only lasted 72 days. Who is at fault? Many say Kim…I tend to think that it takes two to make a marriage and two to break up a marriage. What is the mythical fairy tale? You decide. I’m not at all picking on one particular person, however, today, society tends to lean toward celebrity feed more than real life stories. Life was meant to be with that certain someone…the one that makes your palms sweat, and your knees feel weak, then one that you think about night and day and cannot get enough of. That’s what marriage is all about, and once you’ve found that happy medium, life will give you a form of an everlasting love. I am a hopeless romantic, who happens to believe in fairy tales, so open your heart and let love in. You hold the key.