Love and Marriage…Finding Your Partner For Life

As Beyonce once sang…”Put a Ring On It. “Up in the club,we just broke up, I’m doing my own lil’ thing…you decided to dip…and now you wanna trip …Cause another brother noticed me. I’m up on him,…he up on me,….Don’t pay him any attention,…’cause I’ve cried my tears,for three good years,you can’t be mad at me….cause if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it… you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it…..Don’t be mad once you see that he want it….if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it.” We all understand the true meaning…don’t we? The meaning of this is that we all want to find that one true person that will act as our partner for life. Some feel that you should not waste time and when you find him/her to do something about it. In my honest opinion…love cannot be rushed.

 There are times that we think we have found him and then the bottom falls out. So many of have experienced this, and have been hurt. We wonder can we really find that one true love? You bet we can, but you have to stop beating yourself up over past mistakes, and move forward. My grandmother used to always say that things happen in life for a reason, and that God puts certain people in our lives for a reason. Sometimes we just need space and time to figure that out. We also need time to learn and grow to really know what is important in relationships and what will make it work and function properly. The important thing to remember is that love cannot be forced upon you at any time. This mean not threats to leave, don’t try to take him/her, and for goodness sakes, learn to trust them or you will truly have nothing. Like a foundation built on sand, it will slowly fall apart. 
 Ever hear of the saying…”Demand a Little, Give a Lot?” It is a very important step in a relationship of marriage. We give and take, however, it works both ways. In a healthy marriage we all must find our sense of balance. We all must accentuate one an others characteristics in order to grow as a couple. Love is the easy part, holding a marriage together after weeks, months and even years is a bit more tedious. Marital relationships blossom when a husband and wife not only tolerate but also celebrate the differences between each other. People need different things in life. Beyond the basics, some people need extra portions of respect, others love, while some people cherish autonomy and independence, etc. Tolerance provides the opportunity for each individual within the relationship to get, without conflict, from their partner what he or she wants and needs.

Try cooperating with your partner in his or her efforts to accomplish their unique physical, emotional, mental and spiritual goals creates a relationship imbued with peace and harmony. Individual goals certainly must be moral and ethical and not injure anyone. If they meet this simple criteria, it becomes the partners privilege to support these goals in every reasonable way even to the point of self-sacrifice. Marriage is a two-way street, but traffic does have to learn how to pass and when to take it’s turn. This means, it is NOT all about you…it’s about the love that you share and being together in love and in times of making decisions.

A selfless attitude brings with it not only peace and harmony but also creates feelings of being loved and cared for in your partner. When you both take a position of tolerance with each other, you will both feel as if you are receiving daily gifts of love. This will then generate affection and friendship.Tolerance is the magic ingredient for getting along with your partner. My grandmother once said, you can love easily, to tolerate is a bit more difficult. We all have habits, whether they be good or bad, we have them. You can help your partner behave with tolerance when you have low expectations. If you don’t expect a lot, it is easier for him or her to give you what you need. Remember, it isn’t always about me, me, me.

Lower your expectations of what you want from your spouse as much as possible. Try to figure out what is the minimum you can live with and still be happy. Be honest with yourself. Don’t pretend to be righteous. A relationship has certain basic requirements that cannot be compromised.  So how does it happen, true love? Nobody knows… but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you’re enjoying your life, and the next you’re wondering how you ever lived without them.

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