Can love really last the test of time? My grandmother used to tell me that love was like a roller coaster ride…a wild and exhilarating thrill that you never wanted to end! Life and Love go together hand in hand, sort of like peanut butter and jelly, or bacon and eggs. You can’t have one without the other. It’s like looking for a missing piece to your puzzle, wanting to make it fit just perfectly. Marriage is a wonderful thing but marriage is not easy and if someone tells you that it is, they were living in some fantasy land. Marriage is hard work. It’s a lot of give and take. It’s a lot of laughing, crying, and shouting at times. The problem is in today’s world that people don’t want to work hard to make something run smoothly. It’s like out with the old and in with the new.
I am sure you have heard people say from time to time; “We are going through a rough patch, and I don’t know what to do about it.” My advice (and it is not professional advice, just my own common sense advice) -try to work it out, and if you cannot, seek someones help (a true professional) to see if you can resolve some of the issues. Don’t wait until you start hitting the bumps and bends…don’t wait until your ride gets too off track and seems too late to stop. The problem is that people don’t want to stay on the ride anymore through the ups and downs, they just want to get off. Love is thrilling and exciting. It is a nervous tension all bundled up inside of you that makes you act silly around your partner/spouse. When do people go too far though thinking that they are owed something back for all of this hard work? There is a fine line between giving love and expecting something in return. Love is not about giving and wanting to get something back. It is unconditional and needs no rendering. Some people really have their priorities screwed up!
I’ve listed a few suggestions that everyone should read and follow:
Are you always there for your partner? Did you know that husbands and wives who have supported one another in their marriages are happier. On the flip side of all this; feelings of insecurity are generally associated with lower satisfaction, and in some cases may spark conflict in the relationship. This can manifest into obsessive love. To build a successful marriage, both spouses need to be there for each other. They need to work hard to keep the doors open to communication, and they need to listen. Marriage isn’t about talk, talk, talk, no one wants a yapper 24/7. Marriage is about keeping your mouth shut sometimes even if you have to put a sock in your mouth and LISTEN to what your partner is telling you. Maybe they really do need something and you’re too busy blabbing about what you want, want want. How do I know this? It happened it me. I have learned from my own past mistakes that marriage is certainly not easy. If you do it just for shits and giggles or to get a better tax return, you are in for a big surprise. If you do it for all of the right reasons,…you know for LOVE, then it is like an investment of sorts. You are pretty much putting all of your eggs in one basket which for me was difficult because my grandmother taught me to never put them all in the same basket. She said spread them around. Listen, that’s a lot easier to do with eggs. With marriage, you have one partner for life and you can’t have additional ones while in this commitment, unless of course you are a bigamist.
Do you know the “Stages of Love”
Do long-term romantic relationships go through distinct stages of love? Sure they do! The passionate love at the beginning can’t be sustained throughout the whole marriage! Although it can provide more passion and enjoyment if you wear sexy lingerie from Simply Delicious Lingerie. That will always keep the spark in a marriage and some heat in the bedroom! If partners are aware of the “highs and lows” in love, the happier they’ll be for the long-term (because they won’t have unrealistic expectations for romance or passion). Communication is a key factor, so make sure that you always talk to your partner! Sure there are stages, but they should be growths in your marriage, not steps backward. Don’t wait until it is too late to try to figure out what might or might not have gone wrong. It’s like having asthma. Don’t wait until you can’t breathe…you know that feeling-when you feel like you just got the wind knocked out of you? Act fast! Same goes with relationships, don’t wait until he/she says ‘it’s over’ to try to fix it. By then, it’s far too late and the damage has been done already.
Let Go of the Little Things in a Relationship
The trivialities of daily life can undermine a loving relationship. Instead of getting caught up in details that are likely petty and unimportant, focus on the big picture! For example; it is not urgent that the car gets washed today, or right now! It’s not urgent that the floors be mopped and the garage get cleaned out….you’ll survive until tomorrow or the next day if this doesn’t get done right now! Stop harping on your partner to do these stupid little things that really have no bearing in a relationship at all…what they cause is arguments and you don’t want that because small arguments without communication end up getting bigger and bigger and then a few days have gone by and you still aren’t speaking and NOTHING has been resolved. My suggestion…don’t sweat the small stuff, it’ll get done. There will always be a “Honey Do” List on the fridge…so really does it matter if that list doesn’t get addressed today or this weekend? NO!
Do You have What it takes to Maintain a Strong Friendship in your Marriage?
To build romantic love, take time and energy to be friends with your husband or wife. Learn new things together, such as how to make sushi, how to use the computer or new programs, how to change spark plugs in the car or fertilize the yard. Show some interest for heaven sakes! It’s not all about YOU! Not when it comes to being in a marriage this is a 50/50 deal and a commitment to one another that you’ll be there for each other whether it’s dealing with a big family crisis or tuning up your car.
Take an adventurous vacation together somewhere that you’ve always wanted to go, break loose and have a ball! Act like kids…no one ever wants to grow up that quickly, although sometimes some of us are forced into it sooner. Read books together about companionship, love and building a happy marriage, and discuss them in bed at night. I dated a guy once that sat up with me until 3 am listening to me read books about marriage, relationship and why men and women do the crazything that they do and why we and act like we do. I am always gathering research for my blog articles. I really appreciated him doing that for me, and he always added his two cents but I appreciated hearing his point of views from a mans perspective. Make it a habit to talk to your partner and please, give your partner what he or she needs as much as possible.
Couples should strive for love with all the trimmings. Yes that’s right we love all the bells and whistles! Couples who’ve been together a long time and wish to get back their romantic edge should know it is an attainable goal, like most good things in life, but it does requires energy and devotion. Love is after all a very big investment. You invest in your partner like you invest your money and funds in a bank. You feel that they need to be well guarded and protected. You work hard to make your money grow and you do the same for your marriage/relationship. We don’t do all of this for years and years only to find that the other partner is tired and doesn’t want to play any longer. That’s when marriages fail.
Communication obviously shut down long before this point or somewhere along the line you could have discussed what was wrong, why you didn’t like something or why you were feeling like he/she was pulling away. Everyone is always so fast to blame the other. Especially family members who try to put a whole lot more than their own two cents in and generally they don’t know their own ass from a hole in the ground. They just like to hear themselves talk. People cannot just jump in and put blame on the other partner when they in fact have NO IDEA what truly caused this marriage to fail or have some major concerns. Sometimes people say that it just happened over night. I strongly disagree. These things take time and they diminish slowly but in a progressive pace. The problem is, that generally we are so much in love with that person that we can’t see the writing on the walls until it’s way too late! IT is too late because you did not guard your investment properly. Like a flower that needs air, and sunlight and water to grow…you forgot to give your marriage the things that it needed. Love is a two way street. If you give, you will get back without expectations.