Everyone tries online dating at one or another point these days. It’s fun and intriguing and you might just get lucky and hit the jackpot and find the love of your life…or not. When online dating first came about, a lot of men saw it as the answer to their dreams. Could life get any better than this? It was like leafing through a catalog shopping for what delighted them…sort of like the ‘must have’ item or deal of the day. Years ago, if you wanted to join a dating agency, you had to jump through so many hoops and you spent hours writing letter after letter to answer women’s ads. In today’s era, no one wants to have a pen pal. Now you can just log on to a particular website, upload your profile and photo, write a couple of lines and wha-la! You’ve got yourself an instant profile and you’re now on the super highway to meeting Ms Right. Hold up…don’t be delusional. You aren’t Rico Suave. There are pros and cons to online dating.
There are millions of women registered with hundreds or even thousands of online dating agencies. I am an affiliate to a variety of them. There are always more women than men, or so it seems, and the proportion of women increases with age. So as a man, you would think all you have to do is get your profile up there and you will have millions of women fighting for you. Right? Ummm, not so much…
If you put your profile up and sit back and wait, you will probably get some interest. Sure. You will receive emails from women who like the look of you. And you will probably think that you can find success with a lot of women without working too hard.
But after some time, things may not be going so well. Progress is not as fast as you hoped. The ladies who approached you do not seem to be following through. They want to write or chat yahoo? Most of them won’t even agree to meet you. Hey, they started it, right? Why are they suddenly pulling away? This should be the beg ole’ RED FLAG boys…as my grandmother used to say; “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is!”
The fact is, that women do not see themselves as committing to anything when they write you online. For a guy, when he says ‘I’m available’, that’s what he means. But for a woman, being available doesn’t mean they stop being picky…in fact, it means that generally they are testing the waters, doing a background check and asking around about you and that may even mean writing other women on the website that they met you on to see if you copy and paste the same responses or notes to everyone just to see who will respond or who you can get a rise out of. Shame on you fellas. Now you should ask yourself why you can’t find a good woman and what are you doing wrong? My guess is that you have made some bad choices and big mistakes.
At this point a lot of guys make some big mistakes…
1. Aggressiveness won’t work…
Don’t push for a meeting if she is saying no. No means NO! Say OK and then just keep the dialogue open. If she doesn’t want to meet you, that means you have not yet won her trust. You probably just need to keep talking.Don’t accuse her of being afraid to meet you. Women love dares, but this could turn out to be the wrong move on your part. you don’t want to force her hand and make her feel like she has to meet with you. My grandmother used to always say that anything worth having was worth waiting for. Give it time. You’re not in a marathon to find love…
2. Looking for an ideal lady?
If you have an ideal lady in your mind, you will probably not find her. Your dream girl is just that…a fantasy. A lot of guys have illusions about women who look or act a certain way. Your ideal lady probably does not exist, or if she does, she will not look exactly like you imagine. If you hold onto ideals, then 99.9% of women will not fit. Be open to the unexpected, and you will have a lot more success.
3. Lying and talking yourself up? Don’t do it!
Why do men do this? There is simply no point to do it. If you lie about how much you earn, how many times you have been married, if you are or are not married, what you do for a living, your friends or social status, she will probably find out eventually and even if she does not, the fact that you know you have lied will affect your relationship. Lies are so hard to keep up with…just be honest!
If there is something you prefer not to discuss right away that’s ok,…you don’t have to spill your guts all at once, but you should be up front and open. Later, when you have built up some trust and you feel that you can tell her in a confidential way, a woman will accept most that you have to tell … provided you did not lie about it. My theory is that honesty gets you everywhere, and if you wish to find a woman that you can get to know, spend time with and enjoy her company, she wants to meet the real you, not what you’ve built her up to believe is the true you.
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