Relationships and Trust

If you would have asked me several months ago or even a few years ago what I found most intriguing in men and being in a relationship my answer might have been something off the chart…why? Probably because I had such high expectations of what I wanted in a man and how I thought a relationship was supposed to work. It may have also been because I hadn’t been in a relationship for a lengthy enough time to give a good man a chance.

In the last several months, I’ve come to the realization that there is no perfect relationship, rather relations that are nourished with communication, and kindness. I’ve always been one who would say that if you are worth it, a man will do whatever it takes to make you happy. The truth is, it is not just about me or you. All relationships begin as a friendship and with the right nutrients and enough air to breathe on their own, they blossom over time into something that can be the start of a whole new chapter in one’s life.

 Get to know each other really well. Learn about each other’s biggest dreams and worst nightmares. We all have them, and our feelings do matter.  talk about your ideal plans for your life, where you see yourself in a few years? As mush as this doesn’t matter to many people, it is significant to some people, so lay your cards on the table. Discuss what your moral beliefs are. If you’re religious, discuss those beliefs now. Talk about how you both were raised. Share family stories that provide knowledge of how they’ve made you a better person. Learning about each other, your pasts and ideas on life is very important. Don’t carry baggage (mostly drama) into a new relationship. That is a BIG No-No, so clear the slate now!

Too many of us have preconceived notions about what relationships should or shouldn’t be. When you think a relationship should be a certain way, and yours isn’t, frustration sets in…and we all know that frustration is the number one thing that eats away at a relationship. Another ‘not so good’ sign is if you’re trying hard to make improvements and changes, but you don’t see the same level of effort on your partner’s part. It’s not an 80/20 relationship, it has to be a 50/50. There has to be some sense of “we’re trying really hard, both making changes and that’s making a difference.’” Otherwise, you will beat yourself into the ground trying to make this person happy and in the end you will only be exhausted, and no one needs a relationship where the work is harder than the enjoyment/satisfaction of what you both share.

Has your relationship gone down hill? They say that often daily routines are one of the culprits and I agree. As their responsibilities grow and roles expand, they say that couples have less and less time and energy for each other. My non-professional advice? You have to make the time, it’s really just that simple. Nothing is so important that a 5 second text message stating that you miss him/her won’t put a smile on your partners face. A brief phone call s that they can hear your voice and know that you miss them and care is all one needs to make them smile and understand that although you are swamped with work, or chores or even family stuff that you care about them and wanted to show it. I’m not stating that your relationship is going down hill fast because of romance, but if may be, that too can be fixed. Surly this doesn’t mean that the passion is gone for good. With a little planning and playfulness, you can boost passion.

With Simply Delicious and Simply Luscious Lingerie you can go from fizzle to sizzle with our sexy lingerie and our bedroom costumes. Men love affection and getting their egos stroked, so ladies, you may have to kick it up a notch…and fellas, we women love being told that we look pretty, or that we smell good, etc.

Treat him or her as you’d like to be treated. In simple terms; ‘be nice!’ It’s not fair for one person to set boundaries and then not be expected to keep the same ones. If you want his/hers respect you are going to have to earn it. Treat them the way that you’d like to be treated.

What destroys a relationship? Jealousy has been said to be the culprit in the destruction in relationships as well as marriages. Jealousy is more about how secure and confident you are with yourself and your relationship (or the lack thereof.) Jealousy is the root of all evil. Truth be told; you can’t make your partner feel more secure” or “change their self-confidence.” This has to be up to them to do on their own. Jealousy can weigh down a relationship because it shows lack of trust, and sweetheart, without trust, you have no relationship at all.

If you think that this is untrue, come down off that cloud in La-La-Land and get with the realities of your own insecurities and stop blaming your partner for this one. Honestly, there are so many people who are very good at the blame game and not so good at pondering how they can become better partners. Instead, they demand that their partners make  changes. This is a two-way street and no one ever said that being in a relationship/marriage would be easy. The problem at hand is this; too many people give up and don’t want to try. Divorce rates have skyrocketed over the past decade or two and why? Lack of trust, jealousy, and communication. If I have said it once I’ve said it a gazillion times. Talk, talk, talk to your partner.

 

Here’s how to decide if you are in the right relationship;

1) You don’t fear it, you go with the flow and enjoy the ride

2) You don’t snoop into their lives, especially their past

3) You don’t hide your relationship from people

4) You don’t act superior to them

5) You don’t lose yourself in the relationship, it’s NOT all about YOU

6) You don’t expect that person to change, you accept them JUST THE WAY THEY ARE!!

7) You don’t take, take, take

8) You miss them when they are away

9) You don’t smother them wanting to always be together, you give them space

10) You TRUST them!

 

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