Relationships and Trust

If you would have asked me several months ago or even a few years ago what I found most intriguing in men and being in a relationship my answer might have been something off the chart…why? Probably because I had such high expectations of what I wanted in a man and how I thought a relationship was supposed to work. It may have also been because I hadn’t been in a relationship for a lengthy enough time to give a good man a chance.

In the last several months, I’ve come to the realization that there is no perfect relationship, rather relations that are nourished with communication, and kindness. I’ve always been one who would say that if you are worth it, a man will do whatever it takes to make you happy. The truth is, it is not just about me or you. All relationships begin as a friendship and with the right nutrients and enough air to breathe on their own, they blossom over time into something that can be the start of a whole new chapter in one’s life.

 Get to know each other really well. Learn about each other’s biggest dreams and worst nightmares. We all have them, and our feelings do matter.  talk about your ideal plans for your life, where you see yourself in a few years? As mush as this doesn’t matter to many people, it is significant to some people, so lay your cards on the table. Discuss what your moral beliefs are. If you’re religious, discuss those beliefs now. Talk about how you both were raised. Share family stories that provide knowledge of how they’ve made you a better person. Learning about each other, your pasts and ideas on life is very important. Don’t carry baggage (mostly drama) into a new relationship. That is a BIG No-No, so clear the slate now!

Too many of us have preconceived notions about what relationships should or shouldn’t be. When you think a relationship should be a certain way, and yours isn’t, frustration sets in…and we all know that frustration is the number one thing that eats away at a relationship. Another ‘not so good’ sign is if you’re trying hard to make improvements and changes, but you don’t see the same level of effort on your partner’s part. It’s not an 80/20 relationship, it has to be a 50/50. There has to be some sense of “we’re trying really hard, both making changes and that’s making a difference.’” Otherwise, you will beat yourself into the ground trying to make this person happy and in the end you will only be exhausted, and no one needs a relationship where the work is harder than the enjoyment/satisfaction of what you both share.

Has your relationship gone down hill? They say that often daily routines are one of the culprits and I agree. As their responsibilities grow and roles expand, they say that couples have less and less time and energy for each other. My non-professional advice? You have to make the time, it’s really just that simple. Nothing is so important that a 5 second text message stating that you miss him/her won’t put a smile on your partners face. A brief phone call s that they can hear your voice and know that you miss them and care is all one needs to make them smile and understand that although you are swamped with work, or chores or even family stuff that you care about them and wanted to show it. I’m not stating that your relationship is going down hill fast because of romance, but if may be, that too can be fixed. Surly this doesn’t mean that the passion is gone for good. With a little planning and playfulness, you can boost passion.

With Simply Delicious and Simply Luscious Lingerie you can go from fizzle to sizzle with our sexy lingerie and our bedroom costumes. Men love affection and getting their egos stroked, so ladies, you may have to kick it up a notch…and fellas, we women love being told that we look pretty, or that we smell good, etc.

Treat him or her as you’d like to be treated. In simple terms; ‘be nice!’ It’s not fair for one person to set boundaries and then not be expected to keep the same ones. If you want his/hers respect you are going to have to earn it. Treat them the way that you’d like to be treated.

What destroys a relationship? Jealousy has been said to be the culprit in the destruction in relationships as well as marriages. Jealousy is more about how secure and confident you are with yourself and your relationship (or the lack thereof.) Jealousy is the root of all evil. Truth be told; you can’t make your partner feel more secure” or “change their self-confidence.” This has to be up to them to do on their own. Jealousy can weigh down a relationship because it shows lack of trust, and sweetheart, without trust, you have no relationship at all.

If you think that this is untrue, come down off that cloud in La-La-Land and get with the realities of your own insecurities and stop blaming your partner for this one. Honestly, there are so many people who are very good at the blame game and not so good at pondering how they can become better partners. Instead, they demand that their partners make  changes. This is a two-way street and no one ever said that being in a relationship/marriage would be easy. The problem at hand is this; too many people give up and don’t want to try. Divorce rates have skyrocketed over the past decade or two and why? Lack of trust, jealousy, and communication. If I have said it once I’ve said it a gazillion times. Talk, talk, talk to your partner.


Here’s how to decide if you are in the right relationship;

1) You don’t fear it, you go with the flow and enjoy the ride

2) You don’t snoop into their lives, especially their past

3) You don’t hide your relationship from people

4) You don’t act superior to them

5) You don’t lose yourself in the relationship, it’s NOT all about YOU

6) You don’t expect that person to change, you accept them JUST THE WAY THEY ARE!!

7) You don’t take, take, take

8) You miss them when they are away

9) You don’t smother them wanting to always be together, you give them space

10) You TRUST them!



RelATioNsHiPs…DeSiRe oR dEsTrUcTiOn?

What is Desire?


Here is what the dictionary says:

tr.v. de·sired, de·sir·ing, de·sires

1. To wish or long for; want.

2. To express a wish for; request.


1. A wish or longing.

2. A request or petition.

3. The object of longing:

4. Sexual appetite; passion

 While some women, or men have few wants and or needs, others have many. There are various forms of desire;  feelings of ambition, temptation, craving, wishing, yearning, thirstiness, arousal, passion, urge, longing, here’s one my grandmother used to say “hankering”….however we choose to see it we have it. Then there are sexual desires; physical attractions. erotic love, sensuality, sensuousness, sexiness, fetish. lustfulness, the “hots” or how ’bout this…..nymphomania?
At Simply Delicious Lingerie, we want to help you become acquainted with your inner desires and assist you with making the right selections of intimate apparel. What do you want out of ‘your’ relationship? All of the great achievers throughout history have one thing in common. They have all been dreamers or desirers. If anyone is to achieve their goals in life then the first thing they need to do is establish what their desires are. That’s what makes people who are highly successful different from the rest – they know exactly what they want in life….however, many people lack self-confidence and are unwilling to set their aims higher through fear of failing. This sometimes develops due to people close to them. They send out discouraging negative signals, and they feel they are unrealistic with their goals and life choices. Make a list; Yes, you heard me, “make a list” of the pro’s and con’s of what you desire in a man, a woman, sexual relationship, job and life?

 There’s no substitute for the trial and error nor is it predictable and effortless, …what you desire sets the pace for how your life will play out. You’ll begin checking the list items off one by one and while doing this you’ll learn more about yourself along the way. You’ll also learn to respect yourself more. On the relationship side of it; Jealousy is the dragon in paradise, you don’t want to breathe fire on your man and chase him away, you want to ignite his flame so that he’ll want to surrender himself to you. Wise up ladies, although that saying holds true that there are a lot of fish in the sea, once you find the one that interests you and makes you all giddy, hang on to him, and for goodness sake,… BE POSITIVE…because if you don’t, there are a lot of piranhas that are waiting and they are hungry with desire and would not think twice to gulp your man right up ladies! The 2 words a man never wants to hear a woman utter are ” Don’t Leave Me!”

 Don’t leave me?…Wake up girlfriend….and get some confidence immediately! Don’t let any insecurities show! Believe me when I say…. nothing sends a man running without his feet hitting the floor faster are insecurities and jealousy. This is where the man feels like he always has to walk on eggshells, hence the fact  that this will cause any chance of a true relationship to literally self destruct before it even has a chance!

 In order to desire someone else you have to love yourself first! You have to Be True to YOU!

© This article is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie.

Addicted to Love? Identify It!

Like all drugs, however, that love high can make us do crazy things. You all have a friend who impulsively flew off to some far away place to marry a guy/woman they barely knew because he was under the influence of love. Does that last? Spur of the moment? I say, yes….if it is truly love then it will last as long as you continue to connect and communicate. Otherwise, it will have been a trip that you’ll regret in the not so far off future.

 When we are in lust, or in the process of falling in love, we tend to overlook so many negative things about that person because so much feels right. We actively throw away any bad data that could ruin our high. We ignore what’s right in front of us. We do! I’ve done it…haven’t you? If you’ve made poor choices because you’ve let a love high influence you, you’re not alone. You already know that relationships entered into hastily, based upon the love high, never last. They can’t. Once you come down from that high, you’ll have to scale the Mt. Rushmore of data that you threw out. And trust me, it’s steep.Whether you’re in love right now or you’re out there looking to answer the age-old question “ are they the one?” the most important thing you need to know is yourself. The best way to figure out if someone is “the one” is to sort through the women/men who are clearly not right for you.

 What do you want, and need? Make a list…., once you will have a much better sense of what you

need in a relationship, and whether that love high you’re feeling is real or based primarily on lust. We often make mistakes entering into relationships because we are not aware of our needs. We tend to get caught up in the moment and to overlook the things that are most important to us. Take it slow….why the urgency to rush into anything? My grandmother used to always say that good things come to those who wait.

I waited a long time, and then one day when I was least expecting it….it happened. I found someone who was so much like myself in so many ways that it almost scared me, actually, it does scare me,

…nevertheless, I refuse to not put my best foot forward  and give this a shot….I owe it to myself to find happiness, and I hope that happiness finds me in return. You should do the same.

 So the next time you are with somebody and you start to wonder if he/she is the one, check your list! Make sure that the person possesses the qualities you’re seeking in a partner. If you’re missing a core ingredient, the relationship will never work out. If you consult your list, you won’t find yourself in a relationship with a person who is like a best friend but with whom the sex is so bad you can’t take it anymore, and you won’t be in a relationship where the sex is fantastic, but the woman isn’t emotionally stable and doesn’t make you feel comfortable.  Do some soul searching to know exactly what you need. If you’re in a relationship, see if the woman/man you’re seeing fulfills your criteria. You can only get what you desire if you’re able to identify it. Is it love, or is it lust?



 © This is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie