Why Some Men are Inconsiderate Dating Material

In relationships, there is a saying that goes like this; “Never make someone a priority when they only see you as an option.” If you don’t know what this means in the real world, you need a reality check. Relationship between two people are just that…between two people. What happens though when one of those two people seem to care more, share more, and make themselves more available and the other only seems to care about what works best for him/her? This person is selfish, needy and a real hot mess…but you won’t see that on the outside. This is the type of person that hides his/her real feelings and often acts like their life is peachy. They build up friendships, business relationships, and anything else to appease you and make you think that they are all that and a bag of chips. In retrospect, it very well maybe pretty, like someone who lies on their resume to land the right job… BUT this is a relationship, not a job, therefore, it’s time to communicate openly. You are either in it to win it and make it work, or you need to get out. Relationships are unique, but they require a lot of listening to build and grow. How can you determine if you are dating an inconsiderate man who surely isn’t good dating material? Time….give it time. 

When you begin dating someone, everything is so new, and so for the first few months it is ok to not open up and to not share as much, however, if you continue to see this person you need to make some changes. Most women that I know want a man who is attentive to them and to their needs. I’m not stating that he has to be at her ‘beck and call’  twenty-four hours a day and seven days a week, but he does need to make plans with her early in the week and set plans in advance. Most women that I know, and men too, want to have a planned schedule. I am not one to sit around and wait for someone to do something. I like to know on Monday what I am doing for the weekend. So what does a girl do if she happens to be dating someone like Mr. It’s All About Me? 

 If this man does not respect your time and always puts his priority before yours, he is selfish and inconsiderate and it is very difficult to date someone as such. However, if you care for him and you know that he reciprocates your feeling, you should give your relationship a chance. If there is a chance of love, then there is always a room for change and improvement. Here are a few things that you can do to handle your selfish and inconsiderate fella. 

The first thing you need to do is talk to him…Men don’t think clearly like women do, so put your mind frame in theirs for a moment if you will? Try and explain how his actions impact your feelings. If necessary, use examples from one of the previous occurrences to make him realize how selfish his behavior was and how much it hurt you. If there is something he does in particular like being late on dates or not calling you up on time, talk about it clearly. Tell him how his words and actions hurt you.

You do not have to ask him for justifications or reasons for that behavior but try to reach out to him as much as you can. If he doesn’t understand anything you tell him, stop talking and start pretending. If he hurts you, make it obvious through your actions. Treat him with indifference and ignorance.You don’t have to hate him but just pretend that you do when he is around. Show some selfishness in your behavior. If he doesn’t show up on time for a date, leave a message and go out on your own. Since you have never acted this way, he is bound to notice the change in your behavior.

Let him step into your shoes and understand how you feel when he acts selfish by prioritizing everything before you. It will help him to relate to your feelings and he will probably start paying more attention to his actions and that might bring about a gradual change.Only the relationship can work when both of the people make efforts to make it work and the effort should come from within the heart. If you care enough for your mate, then make the effort. This person might feel that a relationship is not a place where efforts need to be made. He might think that relationships work on their own but the truth is that they don’t. Every relationship needs a certain amount of efforts and he has to understand that his contribution is equally important. If it continues to be all about  him, him, him…it’s time to find someone who will love and appreciate you for you, you you! 

When you invest time and energy into something, you expect quick results. However, this is a person, not an object. He is a person so he needs some time to undergo emotions, realize his mistakes and then hopefully make changes. This is not something that can happen in a day. You will have to be persistent in your efforts to make him more considerate. If he is just a total moron and won’t change, or does not treat you with respect or make you first, he may not be that into you. Once or twice I’d say ok…maybe it was an oversight, but if it continues for months, it’s time to say so long. If this is the case, and I have just described you…don’t look at this as having been wasted days, weeks, or even months on this person…look at it as a tool, a learning curve for what you really do want in a man so that when the time is right, you can find the perfect fit for you. Every woman surely does deserve her ‘happy ever after.’ Do not settle. There is no “my way” or ‘your way” it has to be a combination of your efforts combined to make it work. 


Relationships and Trust

If you would have asked me several months ago or even a few years ago what I found most intriguing in men and being in a relationship my answer might have been something off the chart…why? Probably because I had such high expectations of what I wanted in a man and how I thought a relationship was supposed to work. It may have also been because I hadn’t been in a relationship for a lengthy enough time to give a good man a chance.

In the last several months, I’ve come to the realization that there is no perfect relationship, rather relations that are nourished with communication, and kindness. I’ve always been one who would say that if you are worth it, a man will do whatever it takes to make you happy. The truth is, it is not just about me or you. All relationships begin as a friendship and with the right nutrients and enough air to breathe on their own, they blossom over time into something that can be the start of a whole new chapter in one’s life.

 Get to know each other really well. Learn about each other’s biggest dreams and worst nightmares. We all have them, and our feelings do matter.  talk about your ideal plans for your life, where you see yourself in a few years? As mush as this doesn’t matter to many people, it is significant to some people, so lay your cards on the table. Discuss what your moral beliefs are. If you’re religious, discuss those beliefs now. Talk about how you both were raised. Share family stories that provide knowledge of how they’ve made you a better person. Learning about each other, your pasts and ideas on life is very important. Don’t carry baggage (mostly drama) into a new relationship. That is a BIG No-No, so clear the slate now!

Too many of us have preconceived notions about what relationships should or shouldn’t be. When you think a relationship should be a certain way, and yours isn’t, frustration sets in…and we all know that frustration is the number one thing that eats away at a relationship. Another ‘not so good’ sign is if you’re trying hard to make improvements and changes, but you don’t see the same level of effort on your partner’s part. It’s not an 80/20 relationship, it has to be a 50/50. There has to be some sense of “we’re trying really hard, both making changes and that’s making a difference.’” Otherwise, you will beat yourself into the ground trying to make this person happy and in the end you will only be exhausted, and no one needs a relationship where the work is harder than the enjoyment/satisfaction of what you both share.

Has your relationship gone down hill? They say that often daily routines are one of the culprits and I agree. As their responsibilities grow and roles expand, they say that couples have less and less time and energy for each other. My non-professional advice? You have to make the time, it’s really just that simple. Nothing is so important that a 5 second text message stating that you miss him/her won’t put a smile on your partners face. A brief phone call s that they can hear your voice and know that you miss them and care is all one needs to make them smile and understand that although you are swamped with work, or chores or even family stuff that you care about them and wanted to show it. I’m not stating that your relationship is going down hill fast because of romance, but if may be, that too can be fixed. Surly this doesn’t mean that the passion is gone for good. With a little planning and playfulness, you can boost passion.

With Simply Delicious and Simply Luscious Lingerie you can go from fizzle to sizzle with our sexy lingerie and our bedroom costumes. Men love affection and getting their egos stroked, so ladies, you may have to kick it up a notch…and fellas, we women love being told that we look pretty, or that we smell good, etc.

Treat him or her as you’d like to be treated. In simple terms; ‘be nice!’ It’s not fair for one person to set boundaries and then not be expected to keep the same ones. If you want his/hers respect you are going to have to earn it. Treat them the way that you’d like to be treated.

What destroys a relationship? Jealousy has been said to be the culprit in the destruction in relationships as well as marriages. Jealousy is more about how secure and confident you are with yourself and your relationship (or the lack thereof.) Jealousy is the root of all evil. Truth be told; you can’t make your partner feel more secure” or “change their self-confidence.” This has to be up to them to do on their own. Jealousy can weigh down a relationship because it shows lack of trust, and sweetheart, without trust, you have no relationship at all.

If you think that this is untrue, come down off that cloud in La-La-Land and get with the realities of your own insecurities and stop blaming your partner for this one. Honestly, there are so many people who are very good at the blame game and not so good at pondering how they can become better partners. Instead, they demand that their partners make  changes. This is a two-way street and no one ever said that being in a relationship/marriage would be easy. The problem at hand is this; too many people give up and don’t want to try. Divorce rates have skyrocketed over the past decade or two and why? Lack of trust, jealousy, and communication. If I have said it once I’ve said it a gazillion times. Talk, talk, talk to your partner.


Here’s how to decide if you are in the right relationship;

1) You don’t fear it, you go with the flow and enjoy the ride

2) You don’t snoop into their lives, especially their past

3) You don’t hide your relationship from people

4) You don’t act superior to them

5) You don’t lose yourself in the relationship, it’s NOT all about YOU

6) You don’t expect that person to change, you accept them JUST THE WAY THEY ARE!!

7) You don’t take, take, take

8) You miss them when they are away

9) You don’t smother them wanting to always be together, you give them space

10) You TRUST them!



Dating Sites…Looking for L-O-V-E or L-U-S-T?

Dating sites seem to be the route to take these days to finding love,and there are plenty of them out there to choose from…but what it if you don’t desire love, rather lust? What if you are just seeking a lover, a NSA kind of guy? What if you just want a ‘boy toy’ if you will? Someone to give you an exclusive membership to their very own pleasure ride in the sky…their personal ‘mile high club?’ A man who you don’t want to be married to rather just share your private and alone time with a few times a month on intimate dinners, weekend getaways and travel? Then you go your separate ways until your next encounter or get together? 

When I think about meeting a man and dating him, or being his lover, I think about two people, at first strangers coming together to form a certain sense of harmony and really connecting on a variety of levels. When I think about a relationship whether it be long term or short term, the questions is not how long will it last rather, how good do these two people mesh together each time the unite? It takes two special people coming together and feeling a connection, first via emails, texts, and the phone and then in person. Many things go into this to make all the good things unfold, but oh if you plan this out and together make goals and commitments of some sort it will all fall into place and it very well can be a win/win for both of you. What is this you ponder? It’s called synchronicity.

Need me to spell it out for you? It is the phenomenon of meaningful things happening together in such a way that they are creatively linked, although one thing did not cause the other. It is as if there is a pattern to the events that is showing you that you are going in the right direction…and the right direction is always good. When you put forth effort and enthusiasm, it shows you are genuine and sincere. You’re not playing games, you’re both adults and deserve to be treated as such. 

So many things go into the full equation of asking; “Is he really the one that will make me happy?” or “Is he going to be discreet and respect me?” If he is the right guy for you, then getting together should be like a walk in the park. Don’t sweat the small stuff…that’s what I tell my friends. Making a connection with someone is not easy at all, in fact when you meet on line it can be even more difficult because you’ve viewed a profile and determined that you like or dislike him or her. If you do like them you proceed to get to know more about them because there is some sort of an attraction and there is so much more to an individual than simply their profile alone. As long as you are completely honest and have excellent communication skills all will be fine, not to worry. Just be YOU! You will find everything falling into place as if it was ‘meant to be’. If there are obstacles now and then, they will be overcome; generally, your path will be smooth because you both went into this type of relationship with the same expectations not only as friends, but lovers. 

Not every chance encounter is magical. There may be some negative affects to meeting someone; sometimes you may meet the right person at the wrong time. Synchronicity is not there and if you try to force a relationship to happen, it will hit a brick wall, and ouch, you don’t want that! My strong non-professional advice would then be that should this happen to you; you’d better to let him go. If he is your Mr. Right, he will come back into your life again later, when it is the right time for both of you. I always say ‘don’t push fate’ it has to happen on its own. 


You may be looking for weeks or months for someone special and not find him, then one day you may be getting ready to close out a membership for a dating site and see a message from someone and decide to read it…it very well could be that one message that caught your eye was all that it took to produce a wonderful new friendship and passion in your life. Erotic and exotic fun may have just hit a new level. Your connection may just be explosive and then you can really kiss the dating sites goodbye!

 computer date



Relationship = Express Yourself

You don’t need diamond rings…or eighteen karat gold…fancy cars that go very fast…you know they never last, no, no. So, if we don’t need all of those things, what is it that we do need to make us happy? Long stem roses are the way to your heart, but he needs to start with your head…what if you’re dating a real jackass and he hasn’t a clue about what it is that you want or need? Sister…as Madonna sang…You’ve got to “Express Yourself!” It’s time to get verbal. Yes body language works most of the time, but if you’ve got a man that is not reading between the lines, he may be missing the entire entree, so feed him for heaven sakes! If you don’t tell him, he won’t know what it is that you truly want, need or desire!

Keep in mind, not all men are the ripest apples on the tree when it comes to dating and relationships. Some of these guys are great but they just need some nurturing.Relationships don’t just happen! What you need is a big strong hand to life you to a higher ground. Does he make you feel like you’re the queen of his throne? If he doesn’t then it’s time to move on.

But remember,…in all relationships, especially new ones, they require work and care to endure and, with time, to evolve in ways that keep both partners fulfilled. I call this the labor of love. Such labors are well worth the effort, though, since a lasting marital relationship is the most rewarding bond in life.

My non-professional advice? Put your needs first! What will make your relationship work? There are a few things that are in my opinion that need to occur and will most definitely be sensual and scream happiness together;

1) Have a quickie! Fast sex may seem unromantic, but short bursts of passion keep you bonded because they release dopamine and oxytocin, two chemicals that trigger loving feelings. This also spices it up a little!

2) Respect Your Relationships Privacy; keep this in mind- If a couple seems overly happy, they may be trying to compensate for insecurities. We all need our own space, so do give it to one another. 

3) Laying a Solid Foundation; Women and men also need to be equals in their relationship. Communication is KEY…without it, you have no relationship, and what you do have will sink like quick sand.

4) Be Compatible!!!

To be compatible means to be able to exist together in harmony. However, for you and your partner to be able to exist together or complement each other, you need three major characteristics:

(a) Contentment and enjoyment in each other’s company.

(b) Sharing each other’s goals and aspirations.

(c) Acting responsibly towards each other.

If you are content with each other and love your life together, you’ll love doing things together which you both enjoy. If you don’t communicate and talk about it, you won’t know what one another is trying to say, so for the love of God, express yourself!

express yourself

Dating; For All the Single Ladies

In the hustle and bustle of today’s society in which we live, women are finding that dating is not as easy as it used to be, nor is finding a good man who you can marry and settle down with. So what’s  a girl to do? It’s 2013 and the modern day Cinderella in her thirties, or pushing forty starts to wonder about online dating effectiveness and if that is the new super highway to take to find a man, and love?  Could it work for you?

Maybe nothing else has worked for you so far, and you are still single. Maybe when you were in your twenties and early thirties you put most of your effort into your career and were way to happy to think about settling down so you watched as men would come and go. Maybe you are divorced like I was and amazed or horrified at how the dating scene has changed since you were last free? It can be a shocking experience if you aren’t prepared for it. Gone are the Ward and June Cleaver days, and gone are the Mike and Carol Brady days…today it’s Beyonce and JZ days and careers and families mesh well because times have changed and you make it work when you are in love! Gone are the days when my folks met, dated and married. Say hello to modern-day dating and living!

OK, Let’s talk age; In your thirties, you are likely to hear the biological clock ticking. Ahhh yes, women wanted babies. Many women want to start a family and be a mother. You do not have too long to find Mr. Right if you want to have a family and you are in your thirties said no one ever. New guys probably do not come into your life very often just out of the blue on a daily basis do they? What are the chances of one of them being ‘the one?’ My guess is slim to none, but if he is hang on to that one. Women are becoming single mothers all the time in this new day and age unlike 30 years ago when you were practically crucified for being a young or single mother, today the world of test tubes and in-vitro fertilization are the hip hop way to go for all the single ladies whom cannot find their dream guy and refuse to settle  just to have a baby!

Let’s get back to what brought us here in the first place. Let’s talk dating; if you go online, you have hundreds or even thousands of men to choose from.  It’s like one big smorgasbord of men! Who imagined life could be so good on a Friday night sitting in front of your television watching Pretty Woman and sipping a glass of wine all while scoping out the internet and joining dating sites to find your very own Mr Right? Visit my blog page at http://www.SimplyDeliciousLingerie.blogspot.com and scroll down to where you will find a variety of dating sites some free, some with fees, that I am happy to be an affiliate with.

Hey ladies, all of these guys are looking for someone. If you choose the right site you can be sure of meeting serious-minded guys who want the same things you want. Just be careful…looks can be deceiving! Where one site may be highly recommended and have a variety of good men, and some sites very wealthy men, there is always room for a snake in the grass to slither his way in and lie through his teeth. Shit happens, so keep your guard up and if he seems too good to be true….RUN…because he probably is! Men are real tools and players, nevertheless, there are women who play the same games, so just be cautious.

You can specify any points that are really important to you, such as politics or religion. At the same time, if you are free and willing to move or travel, you can open up your choice to guys who live outside of your city, county, state or even country. These are men that you would never meet without the internet and they could be really great men looking for the same things that you are yet unable to find his mate locally. Internet dating is really the way to go today.

Your safety should be an issue, but remember that when you meet someone on the street you do not have any way of knowing whether he is a smooth-talking serial killer or whether anything he tells you is true so take a chance. My non-professional advise? Listen to your gut.

Certainly online there is the possibility that someone will make up a whole string of lies but those people are few and far between. You can protect yourself a little by talking to him on the phone, checking up where possible, and always arranging the first few dates for a public place. Do not let him pick you up, but meet him there, at a place that you’ve selected.

You can tell somebody where you are going and arrange for them to call you at a certain time to make sure everything is okay. If you are very nervous, you could even arrange a date where you go with a group or another couple that you know. This can take some of the stress out of the date if you are very shy. However, it is not the best way for you and your date to get to know each other. Just because you are in your thirties, forties or even fifties fear not about dating. While many of our biological clocks are ticking or may even have shut down years ago, our hearts are still open for business.

dating online

Simply Delicious Lingerie

Simply Delicious Lingerie is an online boutique specializing in sexy lingerie from designers such as Carrie Amber Intimates LLC ‘SeventilMidnight’, Be Wicked, Elegant Moments, Fantasy Lingerie, Raveware, and WMS Clothing. Our lingerie is the aphrodisiac of taste, and represents beauty and luxury at an affordable price. At Simply Delicious Lingerie we’ve personally selected a variety of sexy lingerie just for you and all of your sensuous rendezvous. We sell accessories, Bordello shoes, Pleaser shoes, garter sets, bridal lingerie, bridal undergarments, bustier, honeymoon lingerie, wedding day lingerie, wedding garter sets, wedding petticoats, affordable plus size lingerie, Halloween costumes, sexy plus size costumes,  fantasy lingerie, matching lingerie sets, men’s underwear, men’s lingerie, sexy sets, matching sets, wholesale lingerie, sexy thigh high stockings, satin pajamas, plus size sleepwear, adult novelty items and sex swings including the Whip Smart Pleasure Swing and our newest swing…the Fetish Fantasy Yoga Sex Swing.  Our mission is to take your sexy lingerie needs to the next level of comfort, intrigue, romance and sophistication. For more information or to place an order today please visit us; www.SimplyDeliciousLingerie.com  www.SimplyLusciousLingerie.com 

© This is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie®   

Online Dating and Disastrous Mistakes…

Everyone tries online dating at one or another point these days. It’s fun and intriguing and you might just get lucky and hit the jackpot and find the love of your life…or not. When online dating first came about, a lot of men saw it as the answer to their dreams. Could life get any better than this? It was like leafing through a catalog shopping for what delighted them…sort of like the ‘must have’ item or deal of the day. Years ago, if you wanted to join a dating agency, you had to jump through so many hoops and you spent hours writing letter after letter to answer women’s ads. In today’s era, no one wants to have a pen pal. Now you can just log on to a particular website, upload your profile and photo, write a couple of lines and wha-la! You’ve got yourself an instant profile and you’re now on the super highway to meeting Ms Right. Hold up…don’t be delusional. You aren’t Rico Suave. There are pros and cons to online dating.

There are millions of women registered with hundreds or even thousands of online dating agencies. I am an affiliate to a variety of them. There are always more women than men, or so it seems, and the proportion of women increases with age. So as a man, you would think all you have to do is get your profile up there and you will have millions of women fighting for you. Right? Ummm, not so much…

If you put your profile up and sit back and wait, you will probably get some interest. Sure. You will receive emails from women who like the look of you. And you will probably think that you can find success with a lot of women without working too hard.

 But after some time, things may not be going so well. Progress is not as fast as you hoped. The ladies who approached you do not seem to be following through. They want to write or chat yahoo? Most of them won’t even agree to meet you. Hey, they started it, right? Why are they suddenly pulling away? This should be the beg ole’ RED FLAG boys…as my grandmother used to say; “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is!”

The fact is, that women do not see themselves as committing to anything when they write you online. For a guy, when he says ‘I’m available’, that’s what he means. But for a woman, being available doesn’t mean they stop being picky…in fact, it means that generally they are testing the waters, doing a background check and asking around about you and that may even mean writing other women on the website that they met you on to see if you copy and paste the same responses or notes to everyone just to see who will respond or who you can get a rise out of. Shame on you fellas. Now you should ask yourself why you can’t find a good woman and what are you doing wrong? My guess is that you have made some bad choices and big mistakes.

At this point a lot of guys make some big mistakes…

1. Aggressiveness won’t work…

Don’t push for a meeting if she is saying no. No means NO! Say OK and then just keep the dialogue open. If she doesn’t want to meet you, that means you have not yet won her trust. You probably just need to keep talking.Don’t accuse her of being afraid to meet you. Women love dares, but this could turn out to be the wrong move on your part. you don’t want to force her hand and make her feel like she has to meet with you. My grandmother used to always say that anything worth having was worth waiting for. Give it time. You’re not in a marathon to find love…

2. Looking for an ideal lady?

If you have an ideal lady in your mind, you will probably not find her. Your dream girl is just that…a fantasy. A lot of guys have illusions about women who look or act a certain way. Your ideal lady probably does not exist, or if she does, she will not look exactly like you imagine. If you hold onto ideals, then 99.9% of women will not fit. Be open to the unexpected, and you will have a lot more success.

3. Lying and talking yourself up? Don’t do it!

Why do men do this? There is simply no point to do it. If you lie about how much you earn, how many times you have been married, if you are or are not married, what you do for a living, your friends or social status, she will probably find out eventually and even if she does not, the fact that you know you have lied will affect your relationship. Lies are so hard to keep up with…just be honest!

If there is something you prefer not to discuss right away that’s ok,…you don’t have to spill your guts all at once, but you should be up front and open. Later, when you have built up some trust and you feel that you can tell her in a confidential way, a woman will accept most that you have to tell … provided you did not lie about it. My theory is that honesty gets you everywhere, and if you wish to find a woman that you can get to know, spend time with and enjoy her company, she wants to meet the real you, not what you’ve built her up to believe is the true you. 



Simply Delicious Lingerie

Simply Delicious Lingerie is an online boutique specializing in sexy lingerie from designers such as Carrie Amber Intimates LLC ‘SeventilMidnight’, Be Wicked, Elegant Moments, Fantasy Lingerie, Raveware, and WMS Clothing. Our lingerie is the aphrodisiac of taste, and represents beauty and luxury at an affordable price. At Simply Delicious Lingerie we’ve personally selected a variety of sexy lingerie just for you and all of your sensuous rendezvous. We sell accessories, Bordello shoes, Pleaser shoes, garter sets, bridal lingerie, bridal undergarments, bustier, honeymoon lingerie, wedding day lingerie, wedding garter sets, wedding petticoats, affordable plus size lingerie, Halloween costumes, sexy plus size costumes,  fantasy lingerie, matching lingerie sets, men’s underwear, men’s lingerie, sexy thigh high stockings, satin pajamas, plus size sleepwear, adult novelty items and sex swings including the Whip Smart Pleasure Swing and our newest swing…the Fetish Fantasy Yoga Sex Swing.  Our mission is to take your sexy lingerie needs to the next level of comfort, intrigue, romance and sophistication. For more information or to place an order today please visit http://simplydeliciouslingerie.com/   

Say YES (your everyday sexy) to Simply Delicious Lingerie! ®

© This is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie®   

Single Women and WHY We Won’t Settle…

Are you middle aged and single? Are you thinking that your biological clock is ticking away and it is time to settle down? Some women fear being alone. Some women need to be taken care of. Some women need to learn how to be independent. Is it too late for love? Is a good relationship too much to ask for?  Should we settle? Years ago after my divorce I thought that being single was going to be oodles of fun! WRONG. Things are not the same, men are not the same, and times certainly have changed. Are you a good woman, a hard worker, perhaps a single parent? So many women are.

My grandmother always used to tell me to never settle. Of course I am still that hopeless romantic that things that someday, her knight and shining armor will arrive on his horse, or in his Porsche and wisk me away. A gal can hope can’t she?  She said that if I wanted to get respect I first had to have much respect for myself, and I do. Her relationship advice; she said that somewhere out there was a man out that would care for me, appreciate me and love me,…for ME, faults, bad habits and all! She also said that no woman should ever put herself or her feelings on the back burner for any man. I think when we are married or in serious relationships, we as women do tend to do this. I did. After my divorce, I never did this again. This time around it was all about me. Does this sound a little familiar? Did you give, and give and give? Some women develop very low self-esteem from divorce and bad relationships. Hang in their gals. 

Don’t you think you deserve happiness like everyone else? We all try to do the right thing and yet we question what it is that we do wrong in relationships? Oh please… there are so many things that we can or can’t do right in a relationship that it would take this blog and a few more books to list the goofy things that we do to muck things up…The secret to not settling is being clear on what you want and not being afraid to demand it. Some men are very intimidated by this. Why? This means that they are not in control, and that scares some men. 

If you don’t know what you want in a man or from a relationship, than you shouldn’t get involved with someone- PERIOD! No reason to bring someone else down if you are trying to get your act together. You wouldn’t want someone to do this to do, so don’t do it to them. Don’t try to figure it out as you go along because you will only end up hurt and confused. Even if you know what you want, what good is it if you don’t demand the respect to receive it? If you say you want to be loved and to be number one in somebody’s life, why are you sitting around waiting for a man to leave his “situation”? That doesn’t make sense right? Think about it – why settle for good when you can have great? Time for some girl talk; listen up ladies,…stop settling! My grandmother also told me to never make a man my priority if he only saw me as an option. When you date, you see this a lot.

The alternative to settling, of course, is going on more dates where you’ll have to laugh at not-so-funny jokes and rehash (over and over and over again why you are single) … Yes, you’ll have to go into why you’re still on the market as if it wasn’t already difficult enough to talk about. Some women are still on the market because they don’t want to get burned, or they are gun-shy to relationships. Perhaps they went through a bad break up or a messy divorce that dragged on and on and on?

No one has to be with someone. Some choose to do it for all the wrong reasons. The alternative is being single. So do you settle? It’s not bad, and some women actually do settle…nonetheless, it’s just, that you know that deep down you could do sooo much better, don’t you? There you have it ladies– you can settle for a so-so relationship, you can go on countless dates, or you can be single. There’s no other choice. Most women that I know of who are middle-aged and single tell me that they like dating but they don’t know if they would ever tackle marriage again. Settling down and settling are two different things here. 


We stay single for careers, and for ourselves…some of us are a bit selfish, and we have every right to be. No matter how accomplished a woman becomes, or no matter how many lives she saves, at the end of the day, a woman is more likely to judge her success in life based on two things: her weight and her love life. Hey, it’s a proven fact…like it or not there it is. Myself, I don’t want to be someones part-time, or spare time, or sometimes…I want to be his all the time, and if I cannot find that…I’ll stay single. 


Why do women settle? Here are a few examples that I found while doing research on the topic; 

  • We settle because we’re tired of people asking “where’s your date?” upon entering parties. Really? Who the hell cares if you enter alone? Many people do. 
  • We settle because having someone is better than feeling flawed because at your age you’re still single.
  • We settle because we’re just ready to stop this whole dating thing, already!
  • Don’t settle, just to settle…aren’t you worth so much more?