Relationship = Express Yourself

You don’t need diamond rings…or eighteen karat gold…fancy cars that go very fast…you know they never last, no, no. So, if we don’t need all of those things, what is it that we do need to make us happy? Long stem roses are the way to your heart, but he needs to start with your head…what if you’re dating a real jackass and he hasn’t a clue about what it is that you want or need? Sister…as Madonna sang…You’ve got to “Express Yourself!” It’s time to get verbal. Yes body language works most of the time, but if you’ve got a man that is not reading between the lines, he may be missing the entire entree, so feed him for heaven sakes! If you don’t tell him, he won’t know what it is that you truly want, need or desire!

Keep in mind, not all men are the ripest apples on the tree when it comes to dating and relationships. Some of these guys are great but they just need some nurturing.Relationships don’t just happen! What you need is a big strong hand to life you to a higher ground. Does he make you feel like you’re the queen of his throne? If he doesn’t then it’s time to move on.

But remember,…in all relationships, especially new ones, they require work and care to endure and, with time, to evolve in ways that keep both partners fulfilled. I call this the labor of love. Such labors are well worth the effort, though, since a lasting marital relationship is the most rewarding bond in life.

My non-professional advice? Put your needs first! What will make your relationship work? There are a few things that are in my opinion that need to occur and will most definitely be sensual and scream happiness together;

1) Have a quickie! Fast sex may seem unromantic, but short bursts of passion keep you bonded because they release dopamine and oxytocin, two chemicals that trigger loving feelings. This also spices it up a little!

2) Respect Your Relationships Privacy; keep this in mind- If a couple seems overly happy, they may be trying to compensate for insecurities. We all need our own space, so do give it to one another. 

3) Laying a Solid Foundation; Women and men also need to be equals in their relationship. Communication is KEY…without it, you have no relationship, and what you do have will sink like quick sand.

4) Be Compatible!!!

To be compatible means to be able to exist together in harmony. However, for you and your partner to be able to exist together or complement each other, you need three major characteristics:

(a) Contentment and enjoyment in each other’s company.

(b) Sharing each other’s goals and aspirations.

(c) Acting responsibly towards each other.

If you are content with each other and love your life together, you’ll love doing things together which you both enjoy. If you don’t communicate and talk about it, you won’t know what one another is trying to say, so for the love of God, express yourself!

express yourself

Get Healthy…Eat Right, and Feel Great!

How many times do you look in the mirror, or walk by a window on the sidewalk and glance at your figure? We do it all so often…Many times we are impressed by what we see, other times, not so much. My grandmother used to say you are what you eat. Well it that were the case I would be one great big Cheetos Cheese Puff! I must admit, my eating habits haven’t always been the best, but then again they certainly cannot be the worst either. We all want to look and feel good about our bodies. We all want that sexy appeal. We all want to stay fit and look appealing, especially to or mates, lovers, partners, or spouses.

As we age, truth is, gravity sets in and we really must begin taking better care of ourselves. That means eating healthier, exercising and doing what we must to maintain a positive attitude.  Hey,  dieting can be a difficult thing, especially when you’re trying to make drastic changes to your normal routine. If you’d like to lose some weight and keep it off, the real secret is to do it with small changes that you incorporate into your lifestyle one at a time. Don’t try to do it all at once, that never works, you should know better.

You will find the greatest success if you choose lifestyle changes that you can live with in the long-term. For instance, if you love carbohydrates, it’s not likely that you’ll stay on a low-carb diet for long. In this situation, modifying your carbohydrate intake to an amount you find reasonable may work just fine for you.

These tips will help you eat nutritiously without feeling like you’re dieting:

1. Cut portion sizes in half. That’s right…don’t be a piggy! Cutting your portion size, instead of altering what you eat, is always an option. It’s easy to forget what a healthy portion actually is, which may lead many people to eat more than they intended. Try eating a bit less and use smaller plates to make it seem like your plate is still full. You’ll still feel satisfied while eating less!

2. Eat your food slower and savor the flavor. You don’t want to eat your meals at a snail’s pace, but it does take some time for your body to send signals to your brain that your stomach is full. If you’re eating slowly, you’ll get that message in time before you overeat.

3. Eat more often. Experiment with dividing your meals into smaller sizes and eating more often. Eating smaller meals more often can keep you feeling full and energized and you may end up eating less.

4. Drink lots and lots of water. You already know that water is vital to life. Water will also help you feel full- thus you will eat less! Drinking a glass of water prior to eating a meal helps you feel full sooner.

5. Be mindful when eating at restaurants. Sometimes you’ll find that you have healthy eating habits at home, but it might all go out the window when you’re eating out. Restaurants are notorious for adding in extra salt, butter, and utterly ridiculous portion sizes. Either choose something that you know is healthy based on the nutritional facts, or split up your meal and take half of it home for tomorrow’s lunch. Don’t try to scarf it all down in one sitting…enjoy the taste! 

6. The calories you drink add up. When you’re calculating the calories you’ve eaten for the day, it’s easy to ignore all the calories in your drinks. If you’ve had mostly water, then it won’t be an issue. However, if you’ve stopped at Starbucks, or had fruit juice or a soft drink, you might find that you’ve had a whole meal’s worth of calories in just one drink. I don’t know about you but I would much rather have the solid food rather than a drink with empty calories!

7. Maintain moderate exercise. Exercise is important to your overall health and well-being. If it’s hard to add time for an exercise routine to your schedule, remember that every bit of activity helps. Walking around the block, parking further out in the parking lot and taking the stairs instead of the elevator can give you some great exercise without taking up too much extra time. Sex is a good way to exercise too…just keep that one in mind. It burns calories and it is one form of exercise that no one I know of complains about.

Please remember, being healthy doesn’t need to take a huge effort on your part. You can get there by being aware of your body’s needs. Listen to your body and treat yourself right, and your weight goals are sure to follow. Remember, your body is your house,…and it’s the only house you’ll ever have, so keep up the maintenance on it! 


Ladies…Make Your Dating Check List!

Ladies…Make Your Dating Check List!

Should women have a ‘check list’ of what they want in a man? Should we be picky? Should we settle? If you think that you should just settle for a man because that’s the best you can do…then girlfriend, you have the wrong attitude, and you are using the wrong approach in finding a great guy. Reality has a way of sneaking up on us and really giving us a dose of  what we need. I truly do believe that timing is everything and I have always believed in paths crossing for a reason. Whether they be positive, or negative, there was/is a lesson to be learned from it. What I realized just recently was that most people are not who they proclaim to be and even the ones that you thought my have been something special at one time turn out to prove every gut feeling that you ever had about them to be right.

My grandmother used to always say follow your heart, but listen to your gut. Sometimes men of our past that we thought might be the ‘potential’ guy turn out to be a really misconceived mess. I believe that reality gives us a happy dose of ‘good medicine’ and points us in the right direction. Things happen for a reason and after last night, my past and my thoughts about men came back around full circle making me wonder ‘why do guys act like dicks, and why can’t they just be honest and upfront?’ I find that most men that we meet aren’t really real men. What does that mean? It means that when push comes to shove and it comes right down to it that a lot of men don’t have the balls to lay their cards on the table and just say what it is that they feel or what they want. They build up this facade of what they think a woman wants in a man, but they aren’t really ‘that man.’ After being out with the girls, I realized that some people that we held high regard to, and that we respected at one point turn out to be nothing more than a real piece of work, or a ‘real hot mess’ …if you will.

Most women that I know will put their thoughts right out there. So why is it then that men beat around the bush and have no idea how to express themselves in person? (not all men, just some) They hide behind an email, a phone call or a text message. In the past few months I have gone out with some real doozies for sure. For example; Why do guys lie? Why say you’ve been married twice when you’ve been married oh I don’t know say maybe 4 times? BIG DIFFERENCE…2 and 4. RED FLAG? You bet it is! What does this tell me? They are doing something terribly wrong and I’m not about to fall into victim #5! Why do men say “let’s do this again” when they have NO intentions on wanting to see you again whether it was chemistry, or just an uneasy feeling? Why not just spit it out and say “Hey, it was nice, but this is the end of the road here?” Why not face to face, why hide? Why do men say that they’ll call, and then they don’t? Why all the excuses? It’s like the Justin Long and Scarlett Johansson movie, “He’s just Not That Into You!”

Why do men say that they would do anything for a woman when that isn’t really necessarily true? It could be something as little as saying that they’ll travel with her only to find out later that they’ve never stepped foot on a plane nor will they ever. Are women disappointed by men that act like this? You bet we are! So what is it? Are they cowards that can’t really say how they feel? Are they hoping that if they tell you what you want to hear it will prolong the inevitable? Or do they just want to get into your britches and say what they ‘think’ you want to hear?

Last night I was out to dinner with the girls and we talked about ‘a list’ of qualities; wants/needs that some women have. They use this list when they begin to date a man. We all agreed that this particular list that my friend shared was over the top and pretty intense, nevertheless, every woman should have a list of her own with her own realities of what she would personally like/want/need in a relationship. We left dinner and went to a bar where the crowd was different, but the atmosphere was fun. After being there a few hours I spotted across the room an old friend that meant something to me at one time of my life. He was another one that couldn’t just be honest or honest without some liquor in him to spit out what he really wanted to say, and even then he did a half ass job at doing it.

For months I thought maybe I was too harsh, or maybe I just expected too much. Maybe I needed to come down off my high horse list of my own dating rules…and then I realized NO! I was not going to cave and just settle for any man when I could have THE MAN. You see ladies, things DO happen for a reason, and last night when I saw this man who would NEVER have stopped to say hello to me had I not put myself in front of him to see if he really had the guts to stop… and although he did, but only because he had to pass me to get to the men’s room, it was just what I had expected it would be….short meaningless words, a few smiles and a ‘hey it was nice seeing you again.’ 1) after months of beating myself up, I realized that we were two completely different people indeed, 2) He wasn’t really anything special, and 3) He was meeting a woman for a first date in this particular bar of all places. That was when I realized that maybe my standards are high, BUT high they will stay. This is when I realized that we were two completely different people and I wanted so much more than he ever will. This is when I thanked my gut as I starred across the room thinking to myself…’I deserve better.’ This is when I realized that with or without a man in my life, I am just happy being me. This is when I realized that I was glad that I was not that woman who would just settle.

The bottom line here again is honesty,integrity and trust. Wake up boys…no woman wants a user or a loser. Perhaps we all need to rethink our ‘list’ of what we want in a relationship? Is a list too critical? Sure it is, (and if it isn’t, it should be!) This is your future we’re talking about here. My time is quit valuable and so should your time be. Never invest all of your time with someone making them a high priority when they only see you as an option. Never settle for ‘just OK.’ The moral of the story here is listen to your gut…it knows what it best for you.Trust is the most important building block of a successful relationship. If you can’t trust a man, it makes no difference how great he is in bed, what kind of money he makes or how great the chemistry is between you. If you find yourself with a guy who doesn’t honor his word and agreements with you there is only one thing you must do…. Run! Isn’t love supposed to make you feel good? Isn’t a man supposed to enhance your life and make it better?  Ladies, don’t settle for Mr Wrong.

wHy wOmEn CHeaT?

As a divorced woman myself, I still ask so many times why do people cheat? In this article please note (ladies) that I am not picking on you, this article is about why women cheat. I have a part 2 that asks “Why do men cheat?” First things first…Whenever people choose to cheat on their partners, there is usually some specific reason that led to the decision to seek physical comfort outside the relationship. In the case of married women who cheat, there are several common reasons why they choose to step out on their husbands. Here are a few examples. Perhaps the most common reasons why a woman would choose to cheat on her spouse has to do with a lack of attention. When the husband is emotionally cold or distant, or spends most of his time at work, yes the old’ workaholic, the wife may become frustrated that she does not seem to be of any importance. Guys if this sounds like you, it’s time to make some changes, otherwise you may be in for some bigger problems on the home front.  In order to obtain what she needs to feel wanted, she may choose to begin an affair. Even if the affair is purely physical, she has the full attention of a man for at least the amount of time they are together.

In some instances, the woman may find that her libido is not in sync with that of her husband. The end result is that she is left without an outlet for physical gratification. As a means of filling in the gap, she may take on a lover who can offer her physical companionship when her husband is not in the mood. When health issues prevent the husband from being physically responsive to the sexual needs of his wife, the situation can be very touchy. This is very different from a husband who is capable of engaging in sexual activity with his wife, but chooses to not do so. In this scenario, married women who cheat may see this as the only way to get through the crisis and remain supportive of her husband while he deals with health issues. Last, married women who choose to cheat may do so because they have no physical interest in their husbands. My next topic may strike a nerve….

Who do women who seem to have everything cheat? The answer is easy, because they are in the constant search for perfection, because they know that there must be something better than what they already have and so they start searching for it. Most probably they will not find it, or end up finding something worse than what they already have. In this case they will feel bad and realize they did a mistake by doing this, and if they are lucky enough, this hidden escapade will be their secret forever.

There is another reason for the question: Why do women cheat? – Andmost definitely we all encountered this phenomenon. Boredom appears in the couple after a certain amount of time; the woman wishes to experiment something new and is not ready to transmit this to her partner. She has the feeling that her partner might think she is depraved if her wishes to experiment are eccentric. This is what leads to another mistake; they will try that new thing with a new partner, which they do not know well enough. Again, in this case, the woman will come back to her home, with a well kept secret.

The attraction may have been more along the lines of a secure financial future or a prominent place in local society. When this is the case, the woman may discreetly take on a lover who does excite her physically, while still fulfilling her other roles in the marriage. While there are many different reasons that motivate married women who cheat, the bottom line is that cheating carries a great deal of risk. Lives can be changed forever, reputations can be ruined, and friends and family may suffer if the cheating comes to light. If you are thinking of cheating for any reason, think twice. While the activity may provide some temporary pleasure, the benefits rarely outweigh the liabilities.

Granny Panties or Sex Appeal?

When you think of the word ‘granny panty’ what really comes to mind? I see my grandmother with curlers in her hair wearing a house robe in the back yard hanging up the clean laundry for all of timbuktu to see! The amount of material used in her one pair of granny panties could actually make my entire underware drawer of panties with all of that material. Why have things changed from those day and why are women so secretive about their under garments? Most men think women must wear thongs and g-strings. Guys, have you ever tried wearing these all day? It’s not as fun or as easy as you think.

 No matter what any man tells you about women wearing sexy panties, every woman has to have at least one pair of granny panties tucked away in her lingerie drawer that she likes to put on when thongs, and g-strings have reached their limits. Whether we choose to keep that little secret to ourselves or share with with everyone, or our partner, truth at hand is for some ungodly reason, we are all guilty of this!  Realistically, there are times where comfort is far more important than sex appeal. These are not sexy in any way, which is actually kind of sexy by it self. Listen ladies…when I say granny panties, I know what comes to mind…a woman’s pair of delicates that would fit an entire block of women…this is no longer what we think of as granny panties, in fact, times are a changing….

The plain old standard brief (or in today’s day and age the high-thigh high- rise bikini is the granny panty) which  has its role in every woman’s wardrobe.

 We wear these because we like them, not to make a fashion statement, or feel like a goddess of sex appeal, rather to feel “at home” in our home. These are also very handy for the monthly visitor. No one can convince any woman to ever get rid of her old faithful briefs. When no one else is looking or you are planning that night home alone why bother wearing those sexy thongs. You are just going to be lounging around and might as well be comfortable while doing it. Not to mention it saves on laundry. Just because you are choosing to wear granny panties, you do not have to wear some horrid ripped up old junk. There are plenty of pretty panties out there in the old brief or granny panty style. There is a lot to be said about having the old granny style in your drawers. They are comfortable and breathe well. So is this  a great asset to your underwear collection? Nope, not really…. but it is on those cerrtain occasions when you do not feel like wearing anything else.

When you are out for comfort these are the panties for you for sure! There are many types of material to choose from. You do not have to stick to basic cotton. The Lycra fabric is soft and form fitting to make you feel better on those uncomfortable days. They never give you a wedgie and make you feel cozy and warm. If you are still not feeling like sexy underwear but want some pizzazz you can try the satin granny panty variety. These have a nice cool feel when you slip them on. They also warm up on contact and just plain feel great. Sometimes there is just nothing better than a comfortable pair of underwear. Just because you would never show them to any man on the planet does not mean they need to be ugly. Get fun and even buy prints. There are so many possibilities it is not even funny. You can find a great pair of granny panties to replace those ones that have seen better days in your draw. Turn those into dusting rags girls and treat yourself to something new. Do I promote these type of panties? No, I own a lingerie shop where it is all about confidence and sex appeal, BUT I am a woman and if we cannot admit that we have a few secrets up our sleeves, we wouldn’t be the women we are. Do I own a few pairs of comfy panties? You betcha I do! You can’t wear sexy panties 24/7/ Would you wear your suits or work clothes 24/7? No. Comfort partakes a very large role in these actions. Regardless of our shape or size…every now and again we like our granny panties.

There comes a time and place that every woman realizes that comfort outweighs sexy by a lot. Men can’t see this, but we do.You can wear those sleek little thongs to heat up the bedroom when need be. However, why bother to wear them day in and day out and be uncomfortable. A great pair of granny panties can offer extreme comfort and no visible panty lines. Not to mention they offer extra support. This is a great feature of the granny panty all the time, but even better when that certain time of the month comes to call. The extra support can help with the bloated, crampy feeling of PMS. Granny panties make you feel more snug and secure during this time. The newer they are the better off you are for that extra control and comfort. Cotton is very comfortable but it wears out after washing repeatedly over and over. Don’t go crazy with granny panties. Please keep those Simply Delicious Lingerie items are alluring, appealing and sensual! We love sex appeal, but we desire comfort too!

PoNdEr THis….LeT’s TaLK aBoUt SeX!

WhAt is SaFe SeX?

From the time I was a young girl, I heard about it, and knew of it, but quite honestly, my parents never taught us kids what sex was in a true essence so imagine when we discovered it how wonderful it was? Yes, wonderful all right, then 9 months later I was walking the floors with a colicky baby that cried and took my social life away. I was young …Yes, naive? Very much…My thoughts were, “It won’t happen to me…” So I did what most girls do. I gave into temptation.
Let me tell you about temptation. First off if you are a young lady reading this and you think that having a baby is easy… Call me, I’ve got news for you! Your life is OVER…or at least until that baby is raised and supporting itself. Raising a child is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. You learn to immediately put YOUR NEEDS on the back burner for at least 20 years! Now multiply that, ..I have 2. No, I was not a single mother, I did marry the man who knocked me up as so many people called it. I actually loved him and we were planning to marry, just not yet. At 19 though, do we really know what love is? I look at my kids now, who turned out GREAT and I pat myself on the back for everything that went right when so, so many things could have gone wrong. I guess that’s where values came in.I was raised with plenty of them, minus the 
‘sex talk’ speech, and that carried on to my children who are now 27 and 25. I look at them through a “mothers eyes” and think that they would be too young to have a baby. I wouldn’t change my life for anything and to those who laughed and mocked me when I was 19 and learned of my pregnancy I say to them, “what do you think of me now?” I have kids living in two of the largest cities of the USA with excellent college degrees, my son now having just finished his 2nd BS. They have great paying jobs that they LOVE because I taught them to work hard, dream big and never ever settle.
I’m 47 now and would actually love grandchildren. I figure, shit, if I could practically raise two kids alone during the toughest times in their early teens after a divorce, I can certainly take on the role  as a single grandparent! That probably won’t happen. Neither of my kids want kids at this time of their life. Why….well, they say there are 2 reasons; 1) they are selfish and want to explore and travel the world (wonder where they got that from?) and 2) They don’t want to the responsibility just yet. (they tell me all the time that they cannot imagine how their father and I did it at such a young age.) Looking back now, I wonder the same thing, but we did. As a parent you make sacrifice after sacrifice and you go without because that’s the avenue that you chose the day you had sex and got pregnant. What used to be all about “you” now because all about “them.” Some say that they lost a bit of their life when they had a baby. I disagree, but I recommend waiting until you have cash in the bank and are truly 110% focused. My son asked me one day when he finally put two and two together counting days and months on the calendar….”Mom, was I a mistake?” What does a mother say to that? The only thing I said was “Honey, NO, but if you were a mistake you were the best damn mistake I ever made!” It’s the truth. My kids taught me to not be selfish and I learned the true meaning of “unconditional love~” There is NO book that can teach you that.
Sex is a beautiful thing, what I suggest is to just think long and hard gals before you do it, because like me, who thought “it won’t happen…” it just might. Then what are you going to do? Getting on to why we’re really here…it’s discovering and learning about sex. For goodness sake, make sure you know your partner. One night stands are fun and all sure, BUT in comparison to my life, that one night might affect the rest of your life, and I don’t mean with a pregnancy, I mean if you are too quick to “do” and too stupid to “think” you can end up with a serious STD. These days, they are everywhere. If you have one, don’t hide it. Make sure that you tell your partner. After having had this conversation with a very close friend, I learned that although I wouldn’t have wanted a man to know my secrets, but IF I had something, the practical and honest thing to do would be to get it out in the open. Why did I think differently than her? For a few reasons, I can count on less than two hands the number of men I have slept with in my lifetime and she…well, she could write a book on the men of her life. My values were different, and again it goes back to the fact that I was quite naive.
Now, lets talk cold hard facts about the attributes of sex, and the misleading topics. To the women who are reading this that think by having a baby at a young age it will solve all of your financial problems I say WTF are you thinking? Here’s where I’m coming from on this matter.  My son, when he was 23 years old informed me that his best friend, a cute gal who was 20 got pregnant. She was a single mother and realized that the state would help her out, and bring her HIGH TAX RETURNS, food stamps, WIC and so much more…so what did she do? Within 5 years she had 3 more babies. It’s nice to know isn’t it that our hard earned tax dollars are going to these young women who would rather sit around with a bunch of babies that they really can’t take care of because they can get their hair and nails done on us, on OUR dollars. Give me a break! No one gave me anything. We worked our asses off for what we had and when our kids got sick, they got their medicine but their father and I didn’t eat for a week. I had to work two jobs to put two kids through college and these women that thought it was ok to get pregnant to cheat the system, well, their kids will get a free ride in college, where as you and I will be paying parent loans until we’re dead!  Sad, but true. I don’t think that any child should suffer or miss out because their parents didn’t have brains, but hopefully they will learn from this and not follow in the same pattern. Am I being harsh, you bet I am!
If you are a parent and you have kids, teach them all that you can about sex so that they know you did a great job raising them, and add this finishing touch that might change their life and allow them to do things the right way. Save them from what I went through at such a young age. Please do not misconstrue what I am saying, I have NO REGRETS. I followed the path and I am who I am today because of my past. Babies are a joy, but babies shouldn’t be having babies! If I knew then what I know now….well, you know how that saying goes?
So let’s talk safe sex shall we? What is it? Safe sex is the practice of using precautions when having sex. The reason for this is to avoid getting or passing on a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or other infection. STDs are contagious diseases caused by germs, usually bacteria or viruses. They are usually passed to others through sexual intercourse or other sexual contact. STDs include Chlamydia, genital warts, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis B and C, herpes, and human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). Some STDs in females, if not treated, can make you infertile (not able to have babies). HIV infection can cause acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS), which may be fatal. Body fluids can contain the germs that cause STDs. They include saliva, urine, blood, vaginal fluids, and semen.
  • Safe sex precautions decrease or prevent the exchange of body fluids during sexual contact. There are a number of measures you can take to practice safe sex. The safest measure is complete abstinence (not having sex with anyone). Other measures include limiting your number of sexual partners and avoiding vaginal and anal intercourse. The most important measure when having intercourse is to use a condom (rubber). Avoid sexual contact with anyone who has an untreated STD or while they are being treated. Certain safe sex practices may also be used to help prevent pregnancy.

Safe sex means taking precautions during sex that can keep you from getting a sexually transmitted infection (STI), or from giving an STI to your partner.

STIs are also referred to as sexually transmitted diseases, or STDs. (sexually transmitted disease) These diseases include genital herpes, genital warts, HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis B and C, and others.


A sexually transmitted illness (STI) is a contagious disease that can be transferred to another person through sexual intercourse or other sexual contact. Many of the organisms that cause STIs live on the penis, vagina, anus, mouth, and the skin of surrounding areas.

Most of the diseases are transferred by direct contact with a sore on the genitals or mouth. However, some organisms can be transferred in body fluids without causing a visible sore. They can be transferred to another person during oral, vaginal, or anal intercourse.

Some STIs can also be transferred by nonsexual contact with infected tissues or fluids, such as infected blood. For example, sharing needles when using IV (in the vein) drugs is a major cause of HIV and hepatitis B transmission. An STI can also be transmitted through contaminated blood transfusions and blood products, through the placenta from the mother to the developing baby, and sometimes through breastfeeding.

The following factors increase your risk of getting an STI:

  • Not knowing whether a partner has an STI or not
  • Having a partner with a history of any STI
  • Having sex without a male or female condom
  • Using drugs or alcohol in a situation where sex might occur
  • If your partner is an IV drug user
  • Having anal intercourse

How do I practice safe sex?

Don’t do it! Sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. haha, just kidding…If abstaining from sexual activity with a partner is not practical for you, you should do all of these:

  • Avoid activities or items that can pass germs: Avoid vaginal or anal hand intercourse, mouth to mouth or french (wet) kissing, or using saliva (spit) as a lubricant. Do not use dildos, vibrators, and other sex toys on both yourself and your sex partner.
  • Condoms and barriers:These are usually made from latex. If you are allergic to latex, use a non-latex product such as polyurethane.
    • Condoms: Use a condom every time you will have vaginal or anal sex. Condoms for both men and women are available. Condoms can prevent germs from spreading and help keep a woman from getting pregnant.
    • Barriers: An oral barrier, such as a dry condom or latex square, must be used when doing oral sex.
  • Limit sexual partners: Have sex with a single partner or avoid multiple sex partners. Also avoid having sex with strangers or those with unknown sexual history.
  • Testing and treatment:
    • Screening tests: If you are sexually active, you should get tested for STDs on a regular basis. This is very important if you have multiple sexual partners. You may have an STD and not know it. If you are pregnant, you will be screened for STDs to prevent passing them to your unborn baby.
    • Suspected infections: Get tested if you think or know you had contact with someone who has STD. See a caregiver if you think you have an STD for early treatment. Tell all your sexual partners if you are diagnosed with STD so that they may also be tested and treated. Do not have sex while you are being treated or with a partner who is being treated. Do not have sex until your caregiver tells you it is safe to do so.
  • One last note; Before you sleep with someone, think about how many partners he may or may not have had in the past, because what you don’t know, is that now, they are part of you as well.

© This article is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie.

Guys; How to Ruin the First Date

Just because a girl is willing to give you a fighting chance to show what a great guy you are on a first date doesn’t mean that she wants to see that special tatoo on your inner left thigh, or the one on your ass. She probably doesn’t even want to know what kind of underwear you are wearing, so it’s likely that you should forget about having sex on the first date. As for me, that’s generally a first question. The underwear part, probably because underwear is my business and I try to imagine what the man looks like in it without being too noticeable. Sometimes I’m not always discreet and I just put my foot in my mouth (most of the time) and with my words fumbled, I usually say something stupid like “So tell me, because I’ve never really been all that good with surprises, what do you have going on under those pants?” Thus meaning underwear, thong, boxers, boxer briefs….it just generally never comes out the way that I had intended to say it, and certainly never mean it in a dirty kind of way.,..well, perhaps sometimes. It’s a great conversation mixer though and my way to break the ice!

 Just Test the Waters, Don’t Jump into the Lake….

No diving head first…..not on the first date gentlemen! First dates are very fragile affairs; two strangers unite to test out the waters and see if they are at all compatible. When women are on first dates with men, they analyze every little thing their date does. After all, the pressure is usually on the men, so the way they handle this high stress situation is an indication of their characters. Does he fidget? Does he sweat? Does he remain calm and collected….or does he feel quite at ease with you? How do guys ensure they don’t completely ruin a first date? It’s quite simple: let the women feel comfortable. If women are comfortable, they will relax and be more at ease within conversations. This way, if you accidentally say something insulting, step on her foot or forget to hold the door, she will be more inclined to forgive the mishap, if not pal, you are skating on thin ice!

How to Make a Good Impression

A good place for a first date is a comedy club. You find yourselves in a setting with lots of people and you can easily think of things to do should awkward moments of silence arise. By the end of the show you will both be smiling, which assures that you’ll be in good moods for the rest of the night. The show also gives you something to talk about. The biggest advantage of a comedy show is that the jokes your date laughs at can reveal a lot about her personality. You should know that a guy who laughs extra hard at jokes that degrade women, immediately has 3 strikes against him…so dater beware. Also, make sure that you have enough cab money if you allowed him to be your driver as you may be taking this trip home via taxi whereas if he were my date and he did this he’d be traveling all right…straight to the the moon via my foot up his ass. The Frank Sinatra song “Fly me to the Moon” would be putting this one mildly.

Be Yourself….We Know if You’re Lying!

 A guy should always act natural on the first date; don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. You might be fooling yourself here, but women have radar and we can smell your line of bull a mile away, well, most of us can. For those of you women who cannot…we’ve get some learning to do! Some guys boast which gives us the impression that you’re arrogant. Women like a man who might appear to be a little flamboyant. Now that’s my problem….I like a playful man with an edge. Bad boy? Yes. Why? No idea? Always have liked them and they always tend to get me in trouble, which is why after several years of the “bad boys/wrong men” I decided to stay single. Try to keep the lines of communication open, and keep it simple by avoiding debates about religion or politics. Unless you are seriously prepared and loaded with a pocketful of ammunition to back your words….don’t go there…at least not on your first date. Don’t impose or get too personal; whatever a girl wants to tell you, she will reveal on her own. Remember, if you make her feel comfortable around you, you will surely get a second date. If you move too quickly and get too much “in her business” you’ll find yourself catching the harsh wind of that old familiar slamming door!

 I recommend that you let the girl speak as well. It allows you to get to know a lot of things about her without revealing too much about yourself. A mysterious, aloof man is very attractive. There is no better compliment for a man than a woman telling her friend I had the most wonderful conversation with this guy last night, yet I still don’t know anything about him. He’s a great listener though . This means that you not only entertained her that night, but you’ve got her begging for more and ready for that second date!

 Have fun on your first date and don’t push her if she says no to sex, in fact…don’t even try asking for it…don’t push if she refuses a ride home either, but make damn certain that you pay for her bill or she will never date you again. There is NO GOING DUTCH Mr Cheap Ass, on the first date! NO NO NO!!! Ummm hello….were you born and raised in a cave or are you really that stupid? She’s a lady…treat her as such. Do men actually think that splitting the bill is proper if they asked you out? Listen up….YOU PAY, or don’t ask her out! There is nothing worse than a  cheap pushy man. Never ever ever think she will allow you into her home or into her bed on a first date, unless this is a one night stand because the dating part of it won’t work long term and you both agree to just a wild night of passion. Respect her first and foremost….if you can’t do that guys, why on earth are you even dating? My advice for a good first date. Show up early, but not too early, show her that you know how to be on time and that you were a bit excited about seeing her, brush up on wine guys… A woman loves a man who knows his wine, select a few red and a few whites and ask her which she prefers, find out why she likes them…is it the aroma, or the taste of that particular type? Rule of thumb: You should always order it when out to dinner or for a cocktail. You make the selection.

Tell her she looks pretty, study her face from across the table….did you know that you can read a lot in a woman’s eyes.  Always open the door for her, and pull her chair out at a restaurant when she stands up or sits down, it’s the gentleman thing to do. You are going to have to earn her respect…so give it your best, it may not be easy, but remember,… all good things you must work harder for. Want to win her heart and get date #2? Be yourself (in some cases, lets hope that’s good enough) and show up with a smile and flowers!