“One day you’re going to realize that she was what you wanted all along. That girl that knew she wasn’t perfect, but tried to be just for you. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and loving you was the only way she could. The girl who picked you up whenever you were down.The girl who saw you through good times, and bad. The girl who sees your flaws, and accepts your faults, but values them as much as your strengths. The girl that only wanted to walk beside you. That girl who still can’t bring herself to hate you, even though sometimes you probably deserve it. The girl that should have you, but doesn’t.”
So why didn’t she get the guy? I’ve got 4 reasons that are pretty simple…..read them, and learn from them, and perhaps this will help someone else “not” make the same mistakes…..nevertheless, life is about learning, and mistakes…..they are what makes us grow….after all, we are only human.
REASON #1 – THEY’RE STUCK AND CANNOT GET OVER A PAST RELATIONSHIP
Sound familiar anyone? Ahhhh the ole’ “you’re everything I wanted but now isn’t the best time.” Anyone every heard that excuse? In most cases with men their relationship that didn’t work out simply because of some stupid mistake that he felt really bad about it. Naturally, the relationship fails, thinking that talking would help him sort his feelings out but he’s too proud to do it.
Unfortunately,if you snooze you loose gentlemen so take my advice and lay all the cards on the table….then if the relationship is truly over walk away, take time off from dating to get your head turned back around and move forward learning from this relationship and its mistakes so that you don’t duplicate them in the future…and don’t use the cop-out ‘work has me so busy.’ That’s hogwash and you really need to come up with something better than that because we aren’t stupid and we have feelings. Just say STOP! Enough is enough.
REASON #2 – THEY WEREN’T EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE IN THE FIRST PLACE
It’s a sad statistic, but 80-90% of the single men you meet aren’t ready or willing (or both) to handle a serious relationship. That’s why shortly after the relationship starts, things go downhill and end in a break-up. These men weren’t suited to handle a big commitment to begin with! Men who fall into this category include players and guys who prioritize work over relationships, it also includes men who are far too immature for a good woman. It’s too bad, but there are a lot of single men out there who “could have been” great boyfriends – it’s just that their hearts and minds weren’t ready for you at the time!
Again, there’s little you can do directly to change the minds of these men, I call them boys, because they sure as hell don’t know how to act like a real man. Even if you did manage to get them to commit to a relationship with you, it’s often only a matter of time before they fall out of love with you. You can’t always teach an old dog new tricks and you can’t change a man. He has to want to change for YOU!
REASON #3 – THEY’RE REALLY NOT HAVING MUCH FUN
With the first two reasons, we talked about the two biggest problems that men have about commitment, and how they keep them from staying in a relationship with you, no matter how good you think the relationship may be going….are you following me here? If you’ve noticed, I mentioned in the first two reasons that trying to directly change his mind, such as by trying to make him talk about the problem, or trying to force him to commit to you, or by criticizing, or by arguing, or by begging, or WHATEVER… …it DOESN’T work! It will backfire on you and YOU WILL be left with nothing!! BACK OFF LADIES! It’s easy to think you’re doing the right thing — after all, the best way to solve a problem is by taking a scientific, logical, step-by-step process to solve it, right? Hell no, we open our yap and it all comes out, foot in mouth..over and over and over again.
When you try to approach your relationship problems in this manner, you’re simply taking the focus AWAY from the relationship and putting it ONTO the problem. In your case, the problem will only get bigger and bigger.
And, as I keep saying, what you focus on GROWS! The relationship becomes less and less fun for him, until the point of where he begins canceling dinners, and date nights becuase 1) He’d rather stay in alone, or 2) He’d rather be with the boys in the land of the living where there are no rules! Believe me gals, when he’s in a relationship that’s not fun, he’ll inevitably start looking for his enjoyment elsewhere. It’s often that simple which is why I believe this is the biggest reason why so many guys leave the women they love.
REASON #4 – FIX THE PROBLEM, AND FIND THE SOLUTION!
So here’s my TWO CENTS, don’t focus on the problem. Focus on the relationship! Honestly it doesn’t matter how good your intentions were, if you try to fix the relationship the wrong way, then bad things happen.
Do you know why he doesn’t like talking about the problems in your relationship? It’s simply because he’s a guy and his pride is hinged on the health and happiness of the relationship he’s leading. When you corner him and try to talk about any problems, you’re basically indicating that he’s not doing too well of a job! That’s why guys don’t like talking about the problems…and that’s why, when you ask them if anything’s bothering them, they just say, “Nothing, I’m fine” …even if they’re really troubled. SO WHAT’S THE RIGHT WAY? Ladies, let’s face it….there are some relationship problems that you can fix, and then there are some you simply cannot.
Sometimes, you really don’t have a choice but to let him go. But guess what? That’s not really a bad thing! No relationship should ever take that much work to make it right…..if things aren’t heading in the right direction now, they won’t be. Stop making excuses.
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