The Fashionista No No’s

Top 10 Fashion No-No’s 

There are a lot of do’s and “not to do’s”  when it comes to fashion, some of them we  know, some of them that we don’t know….I appreciate when someone (generally my kids) tell me to turn my ass around and change the look….so if you aren’t sure what to wear, or the style that is in today, take the advice from someone who knows, its hip and it’s fashion savvy, otherwise…it will come back to bite you. Here are 10 rules to follow, and if you find yourself in any of these 10, you’ve got some issues….and it’s time to do some changing!

1. Wearing the WRONG Colors!

Don’t try to be BOLD!!!!!!! To look your best, choose wardrobe colors that complement your skin tone. Wearing the wrong colors will make your skin appear sallow and lines and wrinkles will be more evident. On the other hand, the right colors will make you look more vibrant and healthy, and you’ll find yourself feeling sexy and confident too!

 

2. Too Much Makeup?

I say this all the time lades, you don’t need a lot of makeup. Do you really want to look like a clown? If it takes you more than 5-10 minutes to “put on your face” in the morning and take it off at night….you are that clown! Too much makeup creates a harsh look and makes lines appear deeper. Keep your daytime makeup light and evening makeup a little darker. but know when enough is enough. I like to keep it simple. Ask yourself this; with no makeup would you still look pretty much the same? Would your man recognize you in the morning in the daylight without all the glamour and glitter?

 

3. Clothing That Fits “All Wrong”

Many women don’t realize that wearing clothes that fits too tightly actually make them appear larger. Buy clothes for how they fit, not according to size. Seriously, are you 5? Unless your mother, sister, aunt, best friend didn’t know how to dress and implanted in your mind that a woman should look like an all around mess, don’t wear clothing that isn’t right for you. Do you want to attract a man? ….then wear something that says “classy” in an easy elegant flowing style….something soft, and not too over powering. You want to be the woman who all the men notice and can’t take their eyes off of, not the one that they are all laughing at behind your back.

 

4. Chipped Trashy Looking Nail Polish    

The idea of nail polish is to make your nails appear nicer. Chipped polish just brings attention to poor grooming. Don’t wear a pair of designer shoes if you toenails are chipped, it make you look bad and makes others wonder why you would spend so much on shoes if you don’t give a crap about your hygiene. If you can’t afford to get your nails done….take the polish off all together. Clips are noticeable and stand out like a sore thumb, especially if you are wearing bold, flamboyant colors.

5. A “So Out of Date” Hairstyle or a Disastrous one….? 

Your hairstyle creates a first impression. It accentuates your facial features and shows your true beauty, from your hairstyle, people make judgments about your education level, profession, status, age, and so forth. This doesn’t mean their assumptions are correct – they happen instinctively. Make sure it doesn’t happen to you. Visit your hairstylist regularly, if you cannot afford one, call me and one will be appointed to you! If your hairstylist has become set in her ways and always cuts your hair in the same way, you may want to try someone new. Are you stuck in a rut or still living in 1980 where big hair and scrunchies are a way of your image? If so, you need help…and a serious make-over!

6.  Shoes

Take care of your shoes, because truly, they complete your look. A woman in heels is more likely to get recognized than a woman in flip-flops or sneakers, unless you are in a bikini or tight jogging clothes and sweating profoundly in a hot steamy sexy way….. Also ensure that your shoes complement your outfit. Don’t wear flats with a suit (skirt/blazer) and don’t wear heels with short shorts. Remember Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman before Richard Gere transformed her? Yeah…..that’s what ‘m talking about….only most of us don’t have the Richard Gere type to shell out cash and make us over, unless he is your “Sugar Daddy!”

 

7. Color the Roots, Please!

If you color your hair, make sure you keep it maintained regularly. There’s nothing more distracting than roots that are a different color than the rest of your hair. Something that this is n fashion, these are also the women that are still wearing the gloves with the finger tips cut out and singing “True Blue” by Madonna! Men like women who groom themselves regularly. It’s not difficult to do….and you don’t need a salon. I do my hair myself. Try it to save $$..If you screw it up, then you have to go to a salon, but really, take a chance…you might surprise yourself.

 

8. Underwear

When wearing sleeveless tops, ensure you wear a racer back bra. Don’t wear bras that fit too tightly or don’t provide good support. I think it’s sexy when a bra strap shows….it takes the guessing work out of a man wondering what color you have on under your blouse. You know, they make clear straps and look invisible so regardless of the color bra you have on or the cut of your dress, or shirt, you won’t notice them if you’ve got one of these bad boys on. The same thing goes for your panties,….select the “right” ones that go with your attire. Don’t wear thongs that are going to ride high so that when you bend over those around you can see England, France and the entire globe….1) it’s totally inappropriate, ….and 2) disgusting and disastrous! Good God NO!……No one likes panty lines, but I’d much rather see them than the dental floss hanging out of someones britches.

 

9. Mismatched stockings

Ladies, leg warmers went out years ago….match your, stockings, pantyhose with your shoes or with your pants or skirt. If you really want to get noticed, wear thigh highs and garters to get noticed. At Simply Delicious Lingerie we have plenty to suit your needs and accentuate your look.

 

10. Wearing the “Appropriate” Clothes

For the work environment, avoid flashy clothes (unless you are in a creative field). Do not wear short skirts, (more than 3 inches above the knee) unless prostitution is your profession. Sleeveless tops are a no-no in the office unless you wear a light jacket or sweater over it, plunging necklines- it’s not “how low can you go” it’s an office for heaven sakes! Remember that saying; dress for the job that you want not for the job that you have,…this means always look classy. If it’s jean day and everyone else wears tight jeans to work, wear your dress slacks and a nice blouse…..you’ll stand out and your boss with definitely take notice! it shows class…..OK, stilettos, nice for the bar or happy hour, just not comfy or fashionable at the office unless they are screaming Jimmy Choo or Christian Louboutin!  Don’t too much jewelry, especially loud clicking jewelry or anything blingy…..at least not at the office. Leather pants or skirts, unless your office is at the race track, a biker bar or a street corner, NO NO NO…..not appropriate at the office.

 Last but not least,….don’t wear anything that shimmers, glitters or that stands out, also NO homemade accessories! If you know of someone who doesn’t know the rights and wrongs of fashion etiquette, help them, this is your magical moment to step in and be their fairy godmother… it’s not to late to fix this runaway train ladies…..Unless you want to end up looking like this……

 

 

 

 

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The “L” Bomb

Ohhhhh boy……here it comes, the topic of the day…..”love”

Dropping the L-bomb on someone can be a scary thing.  What’s the best way to say “I love you” – or is saying it even the right move for you?  I’ve got some “I love you” advice for every scenario, whether it’s your first time saying it or your ten millionth time.

If No One’s Said it Yet

If you’re in a relationship and you feel like you’re in love – even though neither of you have used the L-word yet – then it’s time to put your feelings on the line.   Plan for an intimate moment when you’re alone with each other.  Look into your sweetie’s eyes and softly, sweetly say the magic words.  If you hear them back, lucky you! 

If they don’t say “I love you, too,” it’s still okay.  You’re better off revealing your feelings than hiding them and getting hurt down the line.  Besides, just because someone doesn’t love you right this instant doesn’t mean they won’t feel it later on. Sung by Rihanna, one of my favorite songs, “Umbrella” When the sun shines, we’ll shine together……told you I’ll be here forever……said I’ll always be a friend,….took an oath, I’m a stick it out till the end……Now that it’s raining more than ever…..know that we’ll still have each other….you can stand under my umbrella

If You’re Too Shy to Say It

If you feel too shy to come right out and say “I love you” to your boyfriend or girlfriend’s face, that’s okay.  Wait for the right time when you’re alone with each other, and after a soft, slow kiss, whisper it in their ear.  Someone suggested that you can also write it in note and slip it into their backpack or locker……seriously? No….No No! Not romantic at all……don’t ruin such a special moment doing it this way….it’s all or nothing here with the “L” words…..it is not to be entered into lightly…..think long and hard about how and when to use these three words…..I strongly recommend saying it out loud, to their face.  Everyone gets a little nervous saying “I love you” for the first time – it comes with the territory….but isn’t that the exciting part?Hopefully, you’ll be rewarded for all those butterflies in your stomach when they say the words back to you.

If They’ve Already Said it to You

If they’ve already told you they love you and you feel the same way, let them know right away.  If you can, say it right after they do.  If that’s already passed, then tell them the next time you’re beside them with no one else around.

Say, “I want you to know that I love you, too.  I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner – I just wanted to wait until ____.”  Fill in the blank with whatever fits your situation:  “…the time was right;” “…I was sure I felt it too;”  “…I could finally say it out loud without peeing my pants out of nervousness.”  (You get the point.) If you do not feel the same…..don’t drag it out. If you can’t say it back to that person, maybe love just isn’t in the cards for you two? Nothing is worse than saying t and not hearing that echo back…..

If You’ve Both Already Said It a Bunch

After a while, those three magic words can begin to sound like a cliché.  Try out a couple of these creative ways to say I love you:

these creative ways to say I love you:

• Write them a short, silly love poem.or sing the a jingle….it will always be remembered.
• Draw an “I love you” cartoon and hide it somewhere you know they’ll find it.
• put a sticky note on their dash board so that they see it every day.
• teach them the language of love in sign language
• Give them a massage and spell it out on their back, letter by letter.
• Dedicate a song to them on the radio and make sure they tune in to listen.
• Give them a list of 10 specific things you love about them (or even more, if you can come up with them).

But don’t underestimate the importance of just plain old saying the words.  Sometimes there’s nothing better to hear than “I love you” whispered in your ear….and it’s that 3 words that you’ll always remember and get goosebumps over…so if you are going to say it and you’ve not done so already…..make it good! Make it memorable, and be romantic about for heaven sakes. Wear your beautiful lingerie from www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

 

If You’re Not in a Relationship

If you feel like you’re in love with someone you’re not dating – like your crush, or your best friend – then don’t come out and say, “I love you.”  Those are big words that might end up scaring the person away.  Instead, let them know your feelings in subtler ways by flirting with them, or take the plunge and just ask them out on a date.  Save the real lovey-dovey stuff till after you’ve gotten to know each other better.

If You’re Not Sure if You Love Them

If you’re not sure if you’re really in love, then don’t ever say “I love you.” My thoughts are and always have been, be completely honest for this is such a powerful word. Once it is said and those three words have fallen from your lips,….they are soooooo hard to take back….So please, unless you are 110% sure that you do indeed love this person, don’t say it. Instead, say something like, “I really like spending time with you and I like you a lot…”  But lying and saying “I love you” now will only hurt them down the road, especially if down the road you still can’t say it, or don’t feel it – just be honest. Be their shield, and protect them, for that is what we do when we love someone….

 

Now that it’s raining more than ever, know that we’ll still have each other……you can stand under my umbrella……

 

 

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Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places?

For some people, speaking their mind isn’t very easy. In the end many will find that while it may be difficult, those who truly do care about you need to know what you are thinking. Here’s whats been on my mind….Have you ever met someone before and thought for so many reasons that they were the absolute perfect match for you even though there were so so so many odds against you being in a relationship with this particular person? Did it feel like  life was against you connecting for a variety of reason but you couldn’t get your mind off of him/her no matter what you tried to do? Ok,… Add to it that trying to make a relationship work between the two of you would be almost crazy nuts,…so you put it on pause, found a way to push them away like you always do, and while you were doing the pushing you learned that you sent them running right into the arms of someone else? Shit happens. Yup, it sure does, now…welcome to my world.

How do you know that your feelings are so strong? You know the feeling when it’s the bottom of the ninth, the bases are loaded, and you know the next one’s coming right down the middle. And then, you just connect… and for an instant, you know that it’s going over the fence and out of the park… and further than you could ever imagine? Well folks, that’s how you know.

I preach to the choir all the time to be up front and to tell that special person in your life how you feel, when in fact, I am a hypocrite myself, hiding behind a wall of doubt and ‘what if’s’ because I am afraid of having a serious relationship with someone and getting my heart ripped out of my chest again like I did so many years ago. Yes I know that my situation with my husband was different and that there are so many great men out there…yet I find fault with everyone knowing that I have so many imperfections myself. This is my crutch. I hide behind excuses. I can’t love, so I bring others together. There is no crime in that…or is there? I sacrifice my heart so that I don’t get hurt, and help others to find love, where does that leave me? Home alone on a Friday night writing because that is what I do best.

 Although friends and family tell me all the time that the right man will come along, I questioned that time and time again, and one day, when I was not expecting to meet someone at all, nor did I care to, he creeped under my skin and before I knew it I was paralyzed. I was also very terrified. What have I learned here? Well, the same thing that I told him; “Love is good and kind and so wonderful when you meet that one special person. Love is a gift,…cherish it.” Pretty nice of me to give him a pat on the back and a way to go huh? Actually, he was a friend before all this and as most good friends do, they stand by their friends when they have good news or bad, encourage and support them, because that’s what the bigger person here does and you want your friend to experience a happiness that is like nothing else you could describe. It’s like a painting on a canvas where all the oils are so different, yet they all run together and make a beautiful portrait that is illuminating to ones eye.

Am I am a loss for words? You bet I am. Do I hurt just a little, no, I hurt a lot, you bet that I do. Are my friends going to say”I told you so?” Most likely…and this is something that I now have to deal with myself in my own way. Sometimes love or what is close to it seems so one-sided. It’s a natural thing.  Being afraid of our own mixed up emotions is like a double edge sword. You’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. Please, let this be a lesson to all who read my blogs, when you ask yourself why I give advice all the time, it is like that old Huey Lewis and the News song goes…”Do you Believe in Love” I do, but I run so far and so fast in the opposite direction that it would literally take a locomotion to run me down and make me see this. Would he have been good for me you wonder? In my eyes, most definitely. In your eyes, probably not. He was a bad boy in a few ways, none serious, just had that streak about him, and he got under my skin. That was my first mistake, but there is no barrier when the laws of emotions start going off in one’s heart. He said he didn’t want a relationship, or that he was not ready, and all it took one on good lashing from me to send him into someone elses arms. Live and learn, and as Pat Benatar sang, “Love is a Battlefield”

In closing, let me state this; I appreciate everyone giving me their two cents all the time. Without so many of you I would not be doing what I enjoy doing the most, which is writing, and I couldn’t speak so freely about the things that I do without wearing my heart on my sleeve. To this man who came into my life and then hit the road with both feet running, I wish him only the best.

Let this be a valuable lesson to all; don’t wait to tell someone that you care for them, weights what broke the wagon as my grandmother used to say. Do it now, and don’t be afraid. Even if they shoot you down, at least you can walk away knowing that you tried your very best and gave it your all. You may not ever get a second chance. As for me, I am taking my own advice, finally. I’m joining a dating site and trying to meet the right man the proper way since running him down in the frozen food isle doesn’t seem to work, holding in the alarm button on the elevator on the 16th floor hoping that he’ll take his lunch the same time as you and you’ll share an elevator, spraying him with the garden hose ‘not’ by accident as he jogged by your house didn’t work, nor does backing into his Maserati. Let me tell you, like the song says…they really do go 185!  Men and their toys….

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All Work and No Play?

We have all been guilty of this in the past, and we will continue to be guilty of it in the future…It’s always something work related! There is a pressing assignment or task that needs to be completed and five o’clock comes and you still are not done, so you take the work home with you, right? Wrong, you really should leave it at the office…..

 After a long day at work, you need to unwind. There are so many things that must be done when you are home, that you find yourself staying up until ungodly hours of the morning to complete the work that you’ve set aside for weeks, even months so you stay up late and do it all until you are exhausted, and now with little or no sleep….Then you get to work the next day, you are lethargic, tired, and stressed, making it difficult for you to pay attention and stay focus. This begins a pattern which is hard to break way from. Taking your work home from the office regularly is not a good idea. Don’t do it! Don’t allow yourself to become buried in work both in the office and at home. Get your life and your desk organized and prioritize!! First things first……

 I do understand that in order to be there for others and to be successful, you have to put you in first priority. Know what stresses and agitates you the most and determine how to keep them in tact so you can put your best foot forward. If you are in the position to delegate duties and work to others in the office, please do so. Guys you aren’t Superman,…so don’t feel like you have to do any and everything when there are others that have been hired to assist you. Delegating and giving up duties to others will keep you focused and on track, leaving you plenty of time to do the things that you want to do in your spare time. If you don’t have spare time, we’ve got even bigger problems here! You need to make the time! There is nothing wrong with bringing a little work home with you occasionally. Organize your desk so that you have the important things that you need at your finger tips. All work and no play makes for a disaster and that’s not good for any relationship!

Find something that will take your mind off of work and recharge you!

 

This gives clearing your schedule a whole new meaning….

 

 

 

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Say My Name….

Are you a player, a fast mover, smooth talker guys? And ladies,…Are you the only one he wants, desires, and needs? Destiny’s Child sang….”Say My Name” Say my name, say my name ……You actin’ kinda shady …Ain’t callin’ me baby ….you better say my name!

 What does this mean? Well let’s think about it shall we?….Nicknames can be sweet and loving but they are also what you can call anyone and everyone and if you are double dipping in the dating scene, married, cheating. It involves have multiple relationships going on all at the same time,…which honestly, this one truly does baffle me as I can barely keep up with being in one relationship,…there’s no easier way than to call all of your women/men the “toy” nickname,….that way, you won’t screw it up by having to call them by their real name…OMG!!…..

Do you even remember their real name? I’ve listed below some adorable pet names. You may already use them with your partner, lover, or spouse and if you do that’s fine…I’m not at all saying that your partner is a cheater….in fact, I’m not saying it means anything at all….I’ve been burned, a woman once scorned, and I prefer if a man says “my” name. I have a hard time swallowing these after my misfortune. If for any reason your gut is telling you that something isn’t right….listen! We woman have radar, use it.

 

Cute Love Nicknames: Are you called any of these?Amore,Angel, Angel of love, Babe, Baby, Baby doll, Bombshell, Bunny rabbit, Boo, Buttercup, Butterscotch ,Chick, Cinderella, Cupcake,Cutie,Cutie pie, Darling, Dear,Doll, Doll face,Dumpling,Gorgeous, Handsome, Honey,Honey bunny, Hot sexy mama, Hun, Lady love, Love, Lovely,My love, Pooh bear, Prince Charming, Princess, Pumpkin pie, Sexy,Smiley,Stud Muffin,Sugar, Sugar lips,Sunshine, Sweet cheeks,Sweetheart, Sweetie, Sweetie pie,Twinkle toes. If you have the slightest suspicions,doubts, or worries,…and he doesn’t seem to be able to look you in the eye when you question “why” it is exactly that he/she is calling you by this name and not “your” name… my advice?

 

Just walk away…….

 

 

 

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Can You See Right Through Her?

gen·u·ine

[jen-yoo-in]

–adjective

1. possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, or origin; not counterfeit; authentic

2. properly so called: real

3. free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere

 

 

A REAL GENUINE WOMAN!!!

Written by a man, who thinks he knows women….What makes a woman genuine?

How rare are her qualities and how lucky might a man be to find her? Don’t be fooded by a woman acting like she is genuine. Eventually, her true self shows. I thought that this should be a little funny, as well as straight forward, we all need to smile from time to time.

 

1. A real genuine woman knows and does not accept disrespect. No sir, not this woman!

2. A real genuine woman knows that she is responsible for her actions and thinks before she reacts.

3. A real genuine woman knows that a man is only a road block between her and the all you can eat buffet.

4. A real genuine woman is not afraid to tell her age and her weight. It shows confidence,and men like that….

5. A real genuine woman does not judge all by the actions of a few.

6. A real genuine woman knows that no one can steal a boyfriend or a husband from her. Let someone try…unless you’re about to see the wrath of this woman, don’t go down that road.

7. A real genuine woman does not give fake phone numbers.She won’t lead a man on… She declines gracefully.

8. A real genuine woman knows how to receive a compliment and is gracious in accepting it.

9. A real genuine woman works on her faults and does not gossip about others.

10. A real genuine woman is a friend whether she is in or out of a relationship.

 

 Woman don’t have to state that they’re independent. We don’t have to put on a show….It will shine through in her character. A real genuine woman keeps her word and she doesn’t say what she doesn’t mean….. whereas imitation women,…..from a mans perspective, you can see right through them!

 

 

 

Ladies…Know when to say “I’m Sorry”

Sorry seems to be the hardest word’ – these few words by Sir Elton John has brought forward the real human conflict that floods one’s mind when it comes to apologizing to one’s partner. In reality saying this simple word is quite easy and not that complicated provided you take the initiative to look past personal grievances. Can you do this? What even provoked it in the first place, and how does one mend it? Every relationship has its ups and downs. If relationships were that easy, we’d all be in them. It is completely up to you how you want to handle the situation.

 Blaming each other’s faults is simple and it takes only a fraction of a second to do so but what matters most is solving the situation in a sensible and rational manner. More often than not, we wait for each other to take responsibility and ask for forgiveness and in the process lose much of our precious moments that we could have spent together. We do things on the fly sometimes without thinking….So? This only proves one thing….we’re human! We make mistakes and we learn from them.

Saying Sorry To A Guy

• Guys don’t like sitting down immediately after a fight and talk about it. They are usually raging inside and you can get a taste of their bad attitude if you force them to listen to you, and you may not like it at all!
• Leave your man alone to give him time to cool down. This means “Get off his back!” He already has a shadow, he doesn’t need yours following him about. Do not bother him with phone calls or 100 text messages. Most of the time guys are ones who call up to talk things out. If you nag them, they become more annoyed and begin to think you are insecure ladies, you don’t want that!
• Wait for a day or two. Then go to their place and try to sort things out. Again, make sure he hasn’t had a bad day at work or any other sort of thing that has him in low spirits. Nothing like adding more salt to a wound.
• Try not to dig old issues and blame each other. Keep in mind that it is the future that counts and dwelling on old unpleasant memories never helps.
• Always remember that inside every man there is a child that responds to love and affection. You’ve severely bruised his ego, he needs time to digest this, so you give him time. You’re not in any hurry and there is no fire that needs put out.

 

• Contrary to what some people think, guys like flowers too. It is absolutely cool to give your man flowers and make him good dinner to make him feel special. Personally, I think there’s something wrong with that, I’d bring him homemade cookies, or dessert of some sort, and a can of Reddi-Whip for our make up session. (yes gals, think positive and always, always plan ahead!) You always have to be one step ahead of your man.

 

• Make sure that you pamper him and tell him how much you care for him after you apologize. Spend some cozy moments together and let him know that he is special and means a lot to you, then take off your coat (I don’t care if it’s 100 degrees outside ladies, wear a coat) where underneath you have nothing on but something erotic from Simply Delicious Lingerie which should most definitely seduce his mind and body with your sexy ways….. He won’t sit still? Wear heels. Nothing turns a man on more than when a women gives him a jolt and puts her stiletto in his chest…its her way of saying “Hey lover, hold on…..this will only hurt for a minute!” This will be the best pain you’ve endured and your fantasies are about to be fulfilled. Do not misconstrue what I am saying….you can’t use sex as a tool to fix things, but it can be your weapon,… and I say you can use what you for making up, but remember, communication is still key.

 

 

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Who says….”Relationships are Easy?”

Do we know the formula for a happy relationship? Well, truth be told, if we did, no one would be single, and divorce attorneys would be seeking a new career path!  The success of the relationship is dependent on the people who build it! A relationship defines the moral fiber of the people involved and magnifies not the individual but their shared characteristics. Although there are no absolute ingredients that will make a relationship lasting, there are some rules that will help guide you before engaging in any relationship to assist you in determining your key factors to make it work. Communication is key, I say it over and over a million times.

I. Relationships are never limited. There are no barrier walls in relationships. A happy relationship does not mean that you continue to stay together even if its taking away the best of you. A happy relationship is self-nurturing, brings out your best potential and unselfish. One must not treat every relationship as their last hope. It should be enjoyed. Love after all is supposed to be very unconditional.

II. Realize that you are a person with individuality. You are nothing like the next person and you should be proud of who you are! You must not make your life depend on your partner. Love them, but always leave time for you to keep in tune with your inner feelings. A relationship must be shared together and not become the basis of your existence. believe it or not, you can live without this person. Retain your self and never lose it in the course of the whole relationship. Remain strong and guarded to a certain degree, but understand that in order to love again, you have to allow yourself to love. Dee I know you are reading this and saying to yourself, she needs to take her own medicine on this one…I’m trying.

III. Research and review your own relationship patterns. They say we have ‘by nature’ an attraction to the wrong kind of people. For instance, I always like the bad boys and they ALWAY let me down and burn me time and time again. This is where giving gentlemen is actually a two way street and you have to follow the road. You don’t! It’s not your way or the highway. If you are like I am, and you have the unfortunate ability to be smart as a whip in some departments but awful choosing Mr Right for yourself, look the other way and go with a new approach. Do not be stuck in choosing the same kind of person over and over again, what happens? Duhh…you get hurt and you like myself, truly deserve to find real happiness. Evaluate past relationships and identify what went wrong. Some qualities may not be right for you. Choose the person wisely and be in love for the right reasons. I didn’t say material possessions, I said right reasons, such as he is cute, and sweet and knowledgable, and witty and funny, giving, etc.

IV. Don’t hide your feelings, it may be that you only have a few good opportune times to truly show them and you don’t want to blow it. How do you get someone to respect you? Well, try this out for size,…develop open communication. It is the only way to ensure you do not get into misunderstandings. Be very vocal but tactful in expressing your feelings and at the same time be sensitive to your partner’s needs.

V. Be wary of the signs. ‘True and Fake’ affection are easy to perceive. No one wants to be with some dimwit half ass phony. If your partner shows signs of not being true, do not be afraid to confront the truth. It might save you weeks, months or even years of misery…PLEASE, heath the warning, see the red flags and listen to your gut. A person can hide their spots for a short while, but eventually, they come out and honey, it isn’t pretty!

VI. Accept that not all relationships last. There will be times when you might encounter a failed relationship. Cry and be over with it. Shed those tears and act like a real adult. Do not over indulge in your misery but instead move on. Use the experience and knowledge that you gathered in your past to do better the next time. When you do find it, and I mean real true love, it’ll make you feel like a kid again, and honestly, there is nothing better than feeling like your feet are ten feet off the ground.

 

 

Relationships or Rejections?

Let me ask you a question…How into someone do you have to be to realize that it is or isn’t the right fit? More importantly…How into this person are you to know that they are one of a kind and that no matter how long you look, she/he is what you have not only searched for most of your life but desire all the more? Do you think of them when you aren’t with them? Do you go to sleep thinking of this person and wake yup doing the same? What if you are feeling all of these incredible things and you find out that…..they don’t feel the same? How can you determine if this is going to be a solid relationship or a bad rejection? You don’t…not always. Sometimes life turns out wonderful and you build a relationship with this wonderful person, and other times you are devastated as you meet rejection face to face.

Most people won’t get it, or you…in fact your family and friends might even think you’re nuts for having these feelings. So what do you do when someone you have your eye on or you love rejects you? Do you feel sad and think that your life is over? Or do you brush off what has happened and just move on in your life? Ponder this question and the answer you come up with could be a major key in how you handle relationship rejection.

Major causes of relationship rejection

• They might not be interested in you
• They might not be interested in a relationship now
• They might be interested in someone else
• Perhaps they don’t like your personality and life style

Dealing with relationship rejection is not at all easy, and unfortunately, it can hurt others besides yourself especially if there is a child or children involved in the equation, so what is  the easy way to express feelings and to learn from this?

If your goal is to learn how to deal with relationship rejection and find someone to love, then follow the guide below:

1. Change your focus

I can guarantee if you don’t change your focus from the simple point of convergence  on the rejection to something else more uplifting, dealing with rejection will stay difficult for you, and this is NOT something you want following around you forever. Why? Are you serious? Because it is not healthy and it is not the way to make your next possible relationship work. When you meet a man/woman and you begin thinking of them all the time, for no reason or for every reason, you need to dwell on this; If you care for them, make certain that you are over your previous love, 1) it’s not fair to them, and 2) it’s not fair or healthy at all for you. You both deserve better. I’m not saying that a few weeks from now or a month from now you won’t feel the same way about this person, but at least you’ll have had time to sit back, gather your thoughts, ponder your options, and plan your move to win his/her heart.

There are many different methods that will help you change your focus like meditation, visualization, remembering a positive experience from your past, smiling, and laughing. At first focusing can be difficult especially if you have been just rejected, but with constant practice on shifting your focus, it will get easier and becomes a positive habit in your life.

2. Create a  positive spin;

Add a new twist to this mixture by assigning a positive purpose to the situation. This is one of the best ways to deal with relationship rejections from the past. Once someone rejects you; simply say to yourself that what has happened is for the best because you are meant to find someone else who is better in all ways, who deserves you and to be loved by you whole heartedly and so completely.

People who deal with relationship rejection skillfully are masters at assigning a positive purpose to situations and events. Their self esteem is high and believe they are worth of the best, nothing less. Here are some positive purposes you can assign when you get rejected:

• It is her/his loss for rejecting me
• The fact that I got rejected means someone better is on the way, and I will welcome this person.
• This rejection is meant to teach me something so I’m going to look for the lesson and learn from it.
• The list is endless so feel free to add more to the list…believe me, you will.

The key is for the purpose to be positive and uplifting. Don’t beat yourself up, focus on this new person and see him.her as a future potential. Don’t be afraid to tell them that you care, otherwise, they may move on to someone else and become involved if you don’t speak up. You know that old saying listen to your gut, but follow your heart. Emotions are hard to fight, nonetheless, make sure that you are really ready so that no one gets hurt in the future!

3. Take responsibility

Take responsibility for your thoughts and emotions and stop playing the victim. Often when people get rejected in a relationship, they start thinking there is something wrong with them. Statements such as “Why didn’t she or he like me? There is something wrong with me, otherwise she/he would’ve liked me” are very common.

Playing the victim doesn’t serve you any good and it makes it very difficult for you to deal with relationship rejection. The sooner you say to yourself that your happiness is what matters and you will not let anyone’s rejection upset you, the better it will be for you.

4. Stop seeking approval!

Listen, you don’t need me, or someone telling you who you should be with,…right? Creating a happier you creates confidence, and a more attractive YOU! Sooo…giddy up. Go find that right person…or if you already have, figure out how to keep her/him and make it work. You don’t need anyones approval for your happiness. YOU decide who who want to be with and only you know what kind of person is truly the “one” that will keep you smiling for years and years to come. Make sure that there is a deep connection, and that this person is quite genuine. There are a lot of ways to find this out. Pay attention to what other people say about this person, watch their lifestyle and how they interact with others, observe their family, friends, and do what I do, Google them. You can find things out about a person by what others think via comments on a FB page, a blog or read press relseases or bios on them.

Remember, we are all on a path, and the big guy upstairs has a plan for us. It might not be with the person you originally desired, however, maybe the vision was to be that this particular person was not the intended one for you after all? Maybe you just really need someone that loves you for you, and someone who can and will save you from yourself? I used to wonder why people were taken from me, why I was rejected, and then I realized that it wasn’t my turn to love whole heartedly just yet,..and I am now. My grandmother was my best friend and she used to always tell me that I would find love when I least expected it, and not to look for it. I stopped looking a while ago. If it is meant to be, it will be. You should feel this way as well. Love will find you. It is possible, and stranger things have happened. After all, it is about loving one another.

 

 

 

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CoOkiEs & CrEaM DeSsErT…iN 10 MinUtEs!

Directions

Make 2 layers of vanilla pudding, crushed chocolate wafer cookies and whipped cream in tall glasses. Top each with a cookie., and wha-la! Whether it’s dessert for two, or for 10, this easy to make no-bake cookies and cream dessert is ready in a flash! ingredients? You do the math., if you still don’t know, look up above in bold letters! Enjoy your sweets!