Is Mr. Right….Right Around the Corner?

 

Picture this…Every Saturday night, single women going on a ‘man hunt’ in search of  Mr. Right. What’s amazing is that many of them pass Mr. Right …1 every day in the office or while out walking the dog after work. We look high and low and some get lucky enough to find “him” and others walk a path in the ground with their dog that is bigger than a street on a road map. He’s as likely to be at your gym, shopping in your grocery store or standing in line at your favorite movie theatre as he is hanging around the singles mingle hour at some local bar. Honestly…he can be just about anywhere. Since it’s hard to find him, let’s look at the alternatives and search for the rules to make your job easier and your search more enjoyable:

 

Mr. Right Here

 

…is the guy who is handy. He works in your department or lives in your apartment complex. He might be the nice neighbor of your best friend. You’ve seen him so often that he blends into the scenery. He’s not pushy or forward and never comes at you with stupid pick up lines. He’s so nice that you immediately think there must be something wrong with him. But there’s not. He’s simply a nice guy, hard working and not trying too hard.

 

Mr. Right Now

 

…is the guy who’s asking you out for dates regularly. He wants to spend time with you, but you aren’t captivated by him. Finally, you look around and see all of your girlfriends with boyfriends, so you decide to hang onto him. After all, you don’t want to be the last girl left standing alone on the sidelines – and he’s happy just to be with you. You might actually like him if you weren’t using him for a prop to make you look popular while you scan the room for something better. Do people really do this, you bet they do.

 

Mr. Right for Them

 

…is the guy that everyone is certain is right for you and for soooooo many reasons.  He’s the son of your parents’ friends, your coworkers brother, cousin or boss and they’ve conspired several times so that you could meet him. He might be the college roommate of your best friend’s husband and they think he’s a wonderful guy that would be perfect just for you.

 

It’s possible that he’s a new member of the tennis club and your friends shuffle the foursome list so you can play doubles, hoping that the action extends beyond the court. Basically, you’re getting so much “help” from others that you aren’t sure if you really like him or if you’re trying to please other people who care about both of you.

 

Mr. Right… BUT

 

…is the guy that could be perfect, but there’s some impediment that you aren’t sure will work, you ponder the facts have uncertainties… Maybe he’s a divorced single father with custody of two small children. You aren’t even sure you want children and certainly not a ready-made family with instant motherhood. Or, he might have a job with extensive world travel or he’s in the military and could be stationed in hazardous locations for months at a time. this means no quality time together for long durations. So you ask..how can a relationship really grow?  He could be a great guy, but he just doesn’t fit your fairytale story – instead of the tall, handsome prince, he’s barely your height and prematurely balding…

 

So where is Mr. Right?

 

Before you answer, “I don’t know,” take a look around and I mean take  an honest look. Do you see Mr. Right Here, Mr. Right Now, Mr. Right for Them or Mr. Right But? You might take a second look. One of them could be your Mr. Right who is waiting for you to see him for what he really is.

 

What are the rules to follow?

 

When it comes to finding a Mr. Right, I have the most intricate and bewildering list of prerequisites …..the key? Put nature’s rules of romance into action!

 

Rule number one: first impressions are the key to success. As humans, we are often judgmental about the appearance of our admirers. A 5′ 11″ man with dark wavy hair wearing an Armani suit and an expensive Rolex is much more appealing than a man who’s 5′ 5″ with greasy unwashed hair and braces with a piece of broccoli stuck in them. Peacocks, too, make an important first impression for their potential mates. Male peacocks spread their tail feathers to impress the females, and the most beautiful peacock gets the girl!

 

Rule number two, a little bit of materialism does no harm. Admit it! You like it and you want to be around it more, so pay close attention to where he lives and his social patterns.

 

Rule number three, masculinity. I don’t know about you, but I prefer a strong, masculine man to a tender, feminine man. I want a man who dares to fight off other competitors. Kangaroos, too, box for love. The males punch each other in the face like professionals boxers, and once the loser is driven away the winner may pursue his love.

 

Rule number four, persistence….Wear it like a glove girls!  Sometimes we like to play hard-to-get. It’s our nature, we can’t help it! If bears can do it, so can you. A male bear follows his targeted female and tags along with her while she goes about her regular routines until she accepts him. Romantic tricks might also help. Humans like to engage in dancing, singing, and partying. Animals, too, have their mating calls and ritual dances.

 

Rule number five, a little FYI boys…we like gifts: jewelry, flowers, chocolates.  Regardless of when you find him just remember, love happens they say when you least expect it, so be prepared next time you run out in the rain to walk your dog, or drop a letter in the mail box for Mr Right to be right around the corner…it can happen to YOU!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do You Fear New Relationships?

It is very difficult to sit with a group of your friends and hear their stories and experiences that are taking place in their relationships – especially if you’re flying solo. We all want to be happy and giddy, but truth be told, we may not be, so why is this? Well, it will make you look at your life and wonder just how it is that you’re still single while all of your friends your age are married or at least in serious relationships. Do you start to feel down, depressed, frustrated and wonder if you’ll ever have what they do?  Have you ever thought that this could be something that you’ve brought on yourself? There are actually fears that can keep you single and you may not even know that you have them.

You may be afraid that you will be single forever. This is something that many single people fear whether they admit it or not. It usually happens when you’ve had a few, or more than a few, unpleasant or seriously awful relationships, especially in a row. Somewhere in the back of your mind you’re thinking that you may NEVER have that just right relationship. This can really worry you if it’s later in your life than you thought you’d be single. Did you know that men can tell when a woman is desperate and scared to be on her own? Yeah…so hide this gals or you may shoot yourself in the foot here. Sensing this can change the way a man feels toward you. So, you see, holding onto this fear that you’ll never meet the Mr. Right may very well push him away when he DOES show up.

Another fear that can keep you single is the fear of losing your man. No one can predict the future so take this one day at a time ladies!Most people are on their best behavior when they first meet. However, there are some guys that act creepy right out of the gate by assuming too much about where your relationship is going. They may even start getting possessive and/or controlling. Women that exhibit this same type of behavior with men after only a few dates will scare those men away. So when you start worrying about losing the guy before you ever really connect with him, it can make you act in ways that, while totally uncharacteristic of you, can cause the end of this relationship before it even starts. Don’t go into a new relationship with this taboo! No no no!

One of your biggest fears that might keep you single forever is that he will turn out to be just like your ex. This is pretty easy to understand, but do not dwell on it. If your last relationship ended badly, you need to take enough time to get emotionally under control again. When you give it enough time, then your next man will get a fair chance without you comparing him to your ex. Breaking the emotional ties to your past is the first step if you want a new relationship to work. Want to be in a dreamy relationship…then don’t judge your new man or compare him to your last! Take one day at a time, communicate, and be happy! The rest will fall into place.

 

 

Easy Tips for Looking Thinner

How many times have you looked in the mirror and thought to yourself…Yikes! Those few pounds can turn into 20 in a matter of a few months and you don’t realize what it’s done to your body until it’s already there…so what do you do? You go on a crazy diet like I’ve always done in the past, OR you start eating healthier and exercising a little more. Think about if for a moment if you will…those added pounds did not show up over night, so they aren’t going to go away in a day or two either, but there are things that you can do until you shed those unwanted pounds until you get back to your desired weight. Did you know that you could look skinnier without losing any weight? While you’re waiting to see results from diet and exercise, there are ways to slim down instantly. Try these tips for your wardrobe, hair, face, body, and mind.

Wardrobe Tips for Looking Thinner:

1. Wear one color at a time. Wearing a single color or similar shades for your whole outfit will help you to look thinner and taller. Black is a practical choice, and my all time favorite, but other colors can achieve the same effect. Solids are usually more slimming than prints.

2. Ensure that your clothes fit properly. Wearing clothes that are too small makes you look bigger. Seek a comfortable fit and professional alterations if necessary. Get a personalized bra fitting at any department store periodically to keep up with any changes due to aging or weight fluctuations.

3. Use undergarments with comfortable shaping. Body shapers and other compression garments are more comfortable than ever before. Invest in some strategic undergarments that will make all your clothes look better.

4. Choose slimming pants. Look for pants with a flat front and minimal detail. Skip the pants with hidden zippers and no pockets. Pant legs with a slight flare can also help you to look trimmer.

5. Select flattering tops. Pay attention to the length of your tops. A top that ends below the waist will deflect attention from a thick middle. Similarly, a wide collar will help balance broad hips. No hoochie mama tops gals that hug your boobies, you want classy fit.

6. Wear the right shoes. Chunky shoes can make your legs look thicker. Look for narrow pumps with a slightly pointed toe rather than square or rounded toes. Nude shoes are especially good because they make your legs look longer.

7. Liberate yourself from the fear of swimwear. Many women shrink from shopping for swimwear but there are bathing suits designed for every body type. High cut legs can make you look thinner. Lightweight compression can keep you feeling comfortable and sleek.

Other Tips for Looking Thinner:

1. Use makeup to make your face more angular. Iridescent powder can make your face look slimmer and create contours. Brush it along your brow bones and the top of your cheekbones to bring out your bone structure.


2. Make your eyes stand out. If your eyes look bigger, the rest of your face will appear smaller. Curl your upper lashes and apply extra mascara to your top outer lashes. Keep your eyebrows slightly arched and well groomed.

3. Get a flattering haircut. If you want your face to look less full, try cutting your hair shorter. Instead of bangs, pull your hair away from your face to make your face look longer. Choose a hairstyle that adds a little height and fullness at the crown. My hair used to be longer, or a little over my shoulders, then I moved to Houston and I got a “bob” cut where the sides were longer and closer to my face, and the back was layered and shorter to my neck. I have highlights and with a hair straightener, I use it to bend my hair verse the use of a curling iron to make my style look fuller (which makes your face look rounder.)

4. Practice good posture. Develop strong abdominal muscles and hold your stomach flat at all times. Pull your shoulders back. It’s good for your health and makes you look leaner. When you slouch, you get lazy and when you get lazy you just don’t care….no no no! Sit up straight, walk with your shoulders and chest out and show posture and balance in your step.

5. Get a safe tan. If you think that tanning makes you look thinner, do it safely. Sunless tanning products have come a long way in recent years. Daily tanning moisturizers are one easy option to get a little color gradually without any increased risk of skin cancer or premature aging. I have to use the spray on tans because I have had melanoma cancer in the past and it would be very unhealthy for me to even consider a dangerous tanning bed. The spray tan lasts me about 4 weeks and it’s a level 2 which makes me look tan not orangish brown. No one wants to look like they have the fake spray with streaks. Natural is better. Remember you want to look and feel good, blend in,..not stand out!

6. Project a positive attitude. No matter what your dress or pants size is, you’ll feel more attractive when you cultivate a healthy sense of self-esteem and a genuine affection for others. Focus on your most attractive features and qualities. Be happy, and love who YOU are! Life is good and when you are pleasant and confident in yourself, you’ll find more spring in your step!

 

 

Are You a Good Smoocher?

What is romance without a kiss? Everyone wants that romantic smooch and that feeling that their feet lift off the ground when the perfect lips touch yours! So what makes you a good smoocher or a great smoocher? When wishing for romance, your kisses had better be good to make a favorable impression. It may not be fair, but some will judge you on your first kiss as to whether or not they will want to see you again.

In other words, there needs to be good chemistry when kissing. As Faith Hill once sang….”This Kiss” ….Yes , it is all about that one second when time stands still, it is ALL ABOUT THE KISS!!!! A good kiss delivers a super pack of  powerful impact! If you’re a great kisser, you’re going to turn your date on and you will have a definite edge. IF you suck at kissing, you have some serious work to do and a lot of practice is necessary. A good/great kiss makes the difference…a bad kiss will end the date and you’ll never hear from him/her again.

What distinguishes a good kisser from the kisser we all want to forget? The key is to be soft and gentle and follow their lead. Here are some good romantic kissing tips to enhance your love life:

STEP ONE

  • Be careful not to startle – watch and wait for the signal to proceed
  • Avoid the ‘ambush’ kiss (although these can be exciting as your relationship progresses.)
  • Look deeply into your partner’s eyes. This will send the message that you like them and want to be closer to them. Look for their signals as well.
  • Look for a warm, kind smile (even a slight smile is good; it doesn’t have to be BIG.)
  • Pay attention to the look on your loved one’s face. This will indicate where they want to go with this kiss.


STEP TWO

  • Look for good balance. As you move closer to that magical kiss, you don’t want to be leaning too forward awkwardly to get there.
  • As you move closer you are sending signals. You want your body to be in a comfortable position during the kiss, so you can enjoy every moment of it.
  • Go for a light touch just before the kiss. While a hand lightly on the face is a definite signal of intimacy, holding hands combined with eye contact and a warm look can indicate the beginning of a great kiss to come.
  • Make sure you are aligned correctly at this point. This means not only getting your lips on track with theirs, but getting the head tilted correctly as well.
  • Tilt your head slightly to one side first. Your partner will likely react and tilt the other way. This is a mutual sign that the kiss will be very welcomed.


STEP THREE

  • Relax your lips, close your eyes.
  • Move in slowly. During step number two you made sure the two of you were aligned correctly, now you can close your eyes as you’re just about to make contact.
  • Relax your lips, not tightly pressed together. Give your partner the pleasant experience of feeling your lips softly against theirs.
  • Your lips should be recently moistened, but not wet.


STEP FOUR

  • Relax your lips, tilt your head and breathe evenly.
  • Moving in, you can part your lips slightly just before contact. Keep your lips relaxed, your tongue in your mouth.
  • Keep your head tilted so both of you can still breathe comfortably on contact and as the perfect kiss is held…

S A V O R every moment … be slow, gentle, easy.


STEP FIVE

  • Keep it sweet, not too long and not too wet.
  • Don’t pull away too quickly or make any quick movements. Savor. Savor. Savor. Feel the power and romance of the kiss.

Enjoy the moment!


STEP SIX

  • Take your time and don’t rush. Make eye contact, nonverbal and verbal messages.
  • To end, pull away slowly and make eye contact again. Show a satisfied, warm smile to reinforce how you feel.
  • Enjoy the closeness, relax, and finish the kiss with a warm embrace.

Maintaining Your Independence in a Relationship

How important is independence in a relationship? Do partners appreciate someone who is independent or would they prefer clingy? Think about it….In reality, a healthy relationship is made up of two mentally strong people. They each lead independent lives and have the desire and ability share their lives as well.

These are a few of the reasons why this balance of separateness and togetherness is important:

1. Independence makes the relationship more intellectually stimulating. If each party brings his or her individual interests to the table, they’ll have some fascinating and different subjects to talk about with one another.

  • Perhaps he’s interested in kayaking and she’s intrigued with studying history. They can each engage their own pursuits fully, but also enjoy the other person’s passion.

2. You can depend on your partner for support when you need it. If each partner is independent, each one is comfortable depending on the other when the going gets tough or when life gets hectic. A relationship is, in essence, a partnership. Knowing you can count on the other person is wonderfully supportive.

  • Having confidence that your partner can “be okay” without you while you’re at work or otherwise engaged relieves you of having to worry about how your partner will manage in challenging situations.
  • Relationships do have an ebb and flow that requires that one partner lean on the other occasionally.

3. Two independent people in a relationship can mean a more balanced relationship. When you’re both independent, the relationship is healthier. Nobody is exclusively relegated to a specific role.

  • When balance isn’t present, one partner might take the role of “the strong one” in the relationship while the other partner is consequently “the weak one.” Equilibrium in the relationship means no one partner is more or less powerful than the other.

4. Your relationship becomes stronger. When two independent people make a decision to have a relationship, their time with each other is more special and sacred. Even though a sense of independence is important for each partner, being willing to share with the other what you love to do is a great way to spend quality time together.

  • Bringing independence to your relationship promises a deeper, more lasting partnership, since it’s built on acceptance of each other as a whole human being.

5. A sense of independence makes you more emotionally secure. This works for and benefits both partners.

  • If a partner is emotionally secure, they’re not afraid to show their strength and their softer side at the same time.
  • Each person’s sense of independence can help facilitate more openness and honesty in the partnership. No matter what you say or do, you know that your mate will ultimately be okay, since their independence already shows that they’re able to take care of themselves.
  • When you come together at the end of the day, maybe one is tired or bored. The other can step in and revive the other or bring some ideas to the table.
  • Neither partner will feel threatened by their mate’s autonomy and sense of personal strength and emotional security.

Partners in a relationship will enjoy a much deeper, longer lasting connection when they each have a sense of independence. Trust me ladies, you want to keep some sort of independence. You never know when the bottom may fall out and if and when it does, this will keep you in tune with reality and you’ll have your feet planted firmer on the ground than I did. Just always remember, you can take care of yourself if necessary, and most often, we prefer to carry our own weight in a relationship. Men don’t like clingy women who mooch. Just remember to always love yourself….and be TRUE TO YOU!!!!

What is Love and is it Real?

love [ luv ]  

  1. feel tender affection for somebody: to feel tender affection for somebody such as a close relative or friend, or for something such as a place, an ideal, or an animal
  2. feel desire for somebody: to feel romantic and sexual desire and longing for somebody
  3. like something very much: to like something, or like doing, something very much

What is love? So many of us wonder if what we have is real, or like that of a dream awaiting the alarm clock to go off and bring us back to the real world, our reality! I will define it by describing what love is and what love is not. What is love varies from person to person but our need for it is the same. See if these descriptions ring true for you,…it sure did for me.

 Self-love is the art of completely accepting our faults, completely appreciating our gifts, and completely acknowledging our individuality. (Individuality is the uniqueness that separates, and sometimes isolates us, from everyone else.) Once this is achieved, we are ready to love and be loved by another person.

Genuine self-love does not involve egotism, vanity, or self-valuation based on status or wealth. A person with true self-love is compassionate, humble, principled, and not affected by job titles or material possessions.

If you haven’t yet found love within yourself, then do it! When you begin to understand what is love, you’ll know that you are on the right path toward discovering self-love.

 I can certainly tell you this……Real love is not possessive or exclusive. When we love someone, we want everyone to love them – we want them to live in the glow of loving and being loved by everyone. If you find the previous sentence challenging, please remember that true love is not sex or lust, and focus on the vital importance of keeping those concepts separate.

Real love is not possessive or exclusive. When we love someone, we want everyone to love them – we want them to live in the glow of loving and being loved by everyone. If you find the previous sentence challenging, please remember that true love is not sex or lust, and focus on the vital importance of keeping those concepts separate.

 True love is never conditional. One can never say, “I’ll love you, if you love me.” That would describe some desperate bargain, but nothing approaching real love could be a part of it. True love is not diminished by circumstances. Can you imagine loving someone less because they broke a leg? Got an infection? Lost their job? A love that depends upon the talents and capabilities of the other is conditional, and not real love.

 What You Will & Will Not Experience

How do you know if you are in love with the one who’s right? Don’t we all wish we knew the answer to that, wouldn’t it make our lives a whole lot easier, and allow our hearts not to break? The following lists will provide you with what you will and will not feel, think, share, and experience when you’re in love with the one who’s right. To be able to recognize what is love we need to know what it’s not as well as what it is.

 

You will:

  • Love yourself more.
  • Think of them before yourself.
  • Want to be with them all the time.
  • Harmonize with them without effort.
  • Share many of the same goals.
  • Share many of the same passions.
  • Share many of the same principles.
  • Share the same outlook on your home.
  • Share similar views on money matters.
  • Find humor in many of the same things.
  • Trust them with your deepest thoughts.
  • Get attention from them.
  • Experience sexual fulfillment.
  • Feel confident and sure about them.
  • Feel motivated by them.
  • Feel supported by them.
  • Feel relaxed and comfortable with them.
  • Feel better about yourself by what they say.
  • Feel secure that they won’t leave you.
  • Share the same vision for the future.
  • Have the same answer to: “What is love?”
  • Have the same feelings about what is love.

You will not:

  • Begin to hate yourself.
  • Think of what you want all the time.
  • Feel like spending time away from them.
  • Need to force your way with them.
  • Be pulling in different directions.
  • Be struggling to find common interests.
  • Challenging each other’s motives.
  • Have vastly different ideas on your home life.
  • Be poles apart on how money is spent.
  • Argue and fight all the time, if at all.
  • Be afraid to share your deepest thoughts.
  • Be ignored by them.
  • Flirt with other people.
  • Feel fear and anxiety about them
  • Feel pressured by them.
  • Feel they have little interest in your life.
  • Have to force yourself to be pleasant.
  • Feel bad about yourself by what they say.
  • Feel insecure that they might leave you.

 

Everything may not match exactly, but most of it should. Use these lists as a guide. I found that many of these hit home, and oh if I only knew then what I know now….You will know when you have discovered life’s greatest treasure, because you will have a glorious unquestioning feeling in your gut that you are in love with the one who’s right, and they will feel the same. And you will know the answer to the question: “What is love?” Is it real or is it just a game?

 

 

 

 © This article is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie.

Why Men Walk Out On Relationships…

Then never-ending question……Each relationship has its own challenges – and no two challenges in any relationship are identical . Though similarities may exist between why couples ended their time together, but the way that the challenges presented themselves are always going to differ. Why do men leave? What makes them do the things that they do? That say, men and women tend to differ, and while challenges within the relationship may not have anything to do with one’s gender, there are some common reasons why men leave women.

 Why do the men we love leave? Who knows… we aren’t mind readers, and even if we were we still probably wouldn’t understand their motives. However, despite how the media likes to portray them, men have emotions too, and these emotions can damage your relationships. Even the strongest of men can be hurt, and even the weakest of men can stand up for themselves. Though at times it may seem that men are not as complicated as women, they can still have complexities that get in the way of having a successful relationship. Communication….it’s the easiest way to fix things before the get so big that neither of you wants to discuss it…my advice, get things out in the open. Don’t leave a woman hanging…that’s not nice! Pay her some respect why don’t you! Do they? Most often, no.

 So, why then do men leave relationships? Well, truth be told, men may break up for a variety of reasons. No matter how hard you try to guess what they may be, chances are you will never know all of them for certain, as most men will keep these emotions inside and not openly share them, no matter how much he loves you.

 “Why men just up and leave is uncertain…and what do I do while I am still in love with him? Don’t my feeling seem to matter? Don’t our emotions count for anything? One day we just wake up and like a cloud of smoke, and dust in the wind,..they’re gone!

http://www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com/ 

© This is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie