In relationships, there is a saying that goes like this; “Never make someone a priority when they only see you as an option.” If you don’t know what this means in the real world, you need a reality check. Relationship between two people are just that…between two people. What happens though when one of those two people seem to care more, share more, and make themselves more available and the other only seems to care about what works best for him/her? This person is selfish, needy and a real hot mess…but you won’t see that on the outside. This is the type of person that hides his/her real feelings and often acts like their life is peachy. They build up friendships, business relationships, and anything else to appease you and make you think that they are all that and a bag of chips. In retrospect, it very well maybe pretty, like someone who lies on their resume to land the right job… BUT this is a relationship, not a job, therefore, it’s time to communicate openly. You are either in it to win it and make it work, or you need to get out. Relationships are unique, but they require a lot of listening to build and grow. How can you determine if you are dating an inconsiderate man who surely isn’t good dating material? Time….give it time.
When you begin dating someone, everything is so new, and so for the first few months it is ok to not open up and to not share as much, however, if you continue to see this person you need to make some changes. Most women that I know want a man who is attentive to them and to their needs. I’m not stating that he has to be at her ‘beck and call’ twenty-four hours a day and seven days a week, but he does need to make plans with her early in the week and set plans in advance. Most women that I know, and men too, want to have a planned schedule. I am not one to sit around and wait for someone to do something. I like to know on Monday what I am doing for the weekend. So what does a girl do if she happens to be dating someone like Mr. It’s All About Me?
If this man does not respect your time and always puts his priority before yours, he is selfish and inconsiderate and it is very difficult to date someone as such. However, if you care for him and you know that he reciprocates your feeling, you should give your relationship a chance. If there is a chance of love, then there is always a room for change and improvement. Here are a few things that you can do to handle your selfish and inconsiderate fella.
The first thing you need to do is talk to him…Men don’t think clearly like women do, so put your mind frame in theirs for a moment if you will? Try and explain how his actions impact your feelings. If necessary, use examples from one of the previous occurrences to make him realize how selfish his behavior was and how much it hurt you. If there is something he does in particular like being late on dates or not calling you up on time, talk about it clearly. Tell him how his words and actions hurt you.
You do not have to ask him for justifications or reasons for that behavior but try to reach out to him as much as you can. If he doesn’t understand anything you tell him, stop talking and start pretending. If he hurts you, make it obvious through your actions. Treat him with indifference and ignorance.You don’t have to hate him but just pretend that you do when he is around. Show some selfishness in your behavior. If he doesn’t show up on time for a date, leave a message and go out on your own. Since you have never acted this way, he is bound to notice the change in your behavior.
Let him step into your shoes and understand how you feel when he acts selfish by prioritizing everything before you. It will help him to relate to your feelings and he will probably start paying more attention to his actions and that might bring about a gradual change.Only the relationship can work when both of the people make efforts to make it work and the effort should come from within the heart. If you care enough for your mate, then make the effort. This person might feel that a relationship is not a place where efforts need to be made. He might think that relationships work on their own but the truth is that they don’t. Every relationship needs a certain amount of efforts and he has to understand that his contribution is equally important. If it continues to be all about him, him, him…it’s time to find someone who will love and appreciate you for you, you you!
When you invest time and energy into something, you expect quick results. However, this is a person, not an object. He is a person so he needs some time to undergo emotions, realize his mistakes and then hopefully make changes. This is not something that can happen in a day. You will have to be persistent in your efforts to make him more considerate. If he is just a total moron and won’t change, or does not treat you with respect or make you first, he may not be that into you. Once or twice I’d say ok…maybe it was an oversight, but if it continues for months, it’s time to say so long. If this is the case, and I have just described you…don’t look at this as having been wasted days, weeks, or even months on this person…look at it as a tool, a learning curve for what you really do want in a man so that when the time is right, you can find the perfect fit for you. Every woman surely does deserve her ‘happy ever after.’ Do not settle. There is no “my way” or ‘your way” it has to be a combination of your efforts combined to make it work.